†-dressing (W.I.P)

“You’re so damn polarising” they say
“Just tone it down” They always tell me
But it’s just too much fun this way
Pick out aspects from the bed sheets
I shouldn’t be out of the house
I shouldn’t be out of my room
They send me cheques in the mail telling me so
When just getting up’s rebelling, what’cha to do?

Do you just keep it to yourself
Try and get away with it in the crowd
Or do you proclaim it loudly?
Put 2 out of 100 on double work load
Neither one feels like the right way
Nothing steeped in sane logical thought ever does
If I’m a lost cause anyway who cares?
I’m a major league on BBC4 with no rule book

So what I do is give in to absolutely everything
Until the outside feels like the inside
Slap on the leggings and the microscopic shorts
Hidden by grandma’s manufactured hand-me-down
Trying to emulate the only people I’ve admired
Till I’m the person they turn to admire
Then maybe they’ll treat me like them too
So sweet, so pure, so sought after
Eyes burning through my sweater; a dream come true
Outlined by the dance floor every Friday night

For better or for worse…

A finger nail marking down my sides
And the Mayans secure my place in the cosmos
Cos I was never born to survive
A laundry list of conversation stoppers
A hasty count town timer
Exchange the blind eye for pricing sight
To delay the snuffing out of my light
Do you think I look beautiful tonight?
Do you think I got the hang of appropriating right?
Cos I was born to a club that only ever hurt me
If I didn’t want to kill them where they stood
I wanted to rip their fucking tongues out
Have you ever been attracted to what disgusts you?
As their stubble scratches you in the moonlight

I’ll think I’ll just stick to the Yin
But I can’t help but compete with ‘em
I want to be the them they want to be everyday
I want them to be terrified of picking an outfit, lest we clash
So I guess it’s back to Yang with every intent to replace
What I’d give to receive the love you give them
That last puppy in the pound level of attention
To erase life itself, till your the prettiest girl in the room
Hand on heart reciting the psychotics oath
Cos there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get that love
I’d go from Mr to Mrs to back again
I’ll let you call me anything you want
Dress me like a doll, put me on parole
Just to be wanted, just to be found
To be the centre of attention
The apple of anyone’s eye
I tell you I’ll do absolutely anything
And that ain’t no lie

Sebastian Noël

A Buh-Buh-Bored Boy

It always goes this way
2 stops from the station it goes this way
If not chasing the shadows of my losses
It’s trying to steal that which I haven’t earned
Yeah the closer I get, it always goes this way
9,000 years in the future and I’ll still be a brat

I’ll take any version of it making the rounds
Even if it’s by candle light to a brick wall
As I make a deceleration of a wordplay and poetry
To the reception of a single word review
Illuminated against the stars that have bothered to turn up
Don’t take it hard, just how things are
But an opportunity born from archaic rubble that be
Cos I can’t be fucked with the small talk either hunny

Fuck the colloquialism, designed to disguise
And fuck worshipping love like a religion
I just need a reason to live tonight baby
Like a spoonful of sugar, ain’t nothing wrong with enjoying it
Feed me any myth you want, I’ll swallow it down everytime
Like the house cocktail, I’ll down any shit you give me

I’ll take the first volunteer, cos I’m empty
Not like a man facing the knifes edge
But like a forgotten colouring book, down memory lane
I have no purpose without any input
By which way will my personality progress?
That’s down to you baby, and the shot you fling my way
I wouldn’t christen it desperation personally
That implies I haven’t survived colourless all this time
But god I’m so fucking impatient
Cos I’ve been stuck on chapter 3 for 9 novels straight

So please help me turn the page

Lnc0

The 4th Dimension – Part 2

We’re on the subject of eyes again
Cos they won’t stop looking
It’s always stare stare stare
Yeah stare stare stare stare stare
Maybe it’s high time I crossed back

Cos despite still residing in an invisible world
They cut through the 4th dimension anyways
Feel me in the same world they inhabit
They can’t understand what it is they found
But do they really want to know?
If I stepped back onto this world for them
Would they be disappointed by what they see?
Would they care about the real me?
They’d rather keep me a mystery I bet
Like the Sasquatch in the woods, or Nessie in the lake
Things are better kept legends
No need to spoil their illusion with fact

Cos no one accepted me in the 1st dimension
How am I to believe now would be different
Their content at staring at me
Like a freak in their favourite brand
Better to be alone in the 4th dimension

Lnc0

The 4th Dimension – Part 1

The 4th Dimension
It’s where I’ve been hiding for a very long time
To cower from any context looking to dilute
I’m barely holding together, the cracks glued by Pritt Stick
It’s safer to hide in the 4th Dimension

At the very least till my trail has gone cold
“How are you and…?” “Weren’t you with…”
“I ain’t spoken to you since….?”
I hide out of sight till they stop surveying
And those who look for me thin out
Then until they forget me
They might track me like lighthouse when I’m out
But I’m never really there
They can’t interact with that in the 4th dimension
So they stare, but remain still

But maybe it’s time I vacated
Back into a world where people do more then see me
I’m so scare of the scorn, the indifference
I want to believe however, I got to have faith
Someone wants me out of the 4th dimension

Lnc0

Safe To Say I’m Cynical (W.I.P)

Live to survive
Never feels good, never felt glamorous
I feel like a sidekick in someone else’s novel
Who failed to show up on shoot day
I dunno where I should be
Seems like I ended up here

Still here, with you nestled in my arms
Thriving in the soil we made
I dunno where we could’ve gone
I just know we’re here
To shit scared to step into the crosshairs
To risk even a scratch of harm
A Friday night all alone
Viewed like a rapture from sinner’s eyes
Self imposed curfew, self mutilating schedule
We were born for more then this, but it ain’t worth it

Our mouths always feel a little parched
No matter what it is we’re fed
The tannoy’s blaring caution in the background
But maybe together, we can dismiss it

Lnc0

Fishook

The quantities plentiful
But you ever given the reviews a go?
Sketched in the negative with dirt, muck and leaves
Nothing ventured and of course nothing gained
They smile and assure us ‘He’s a nice bloke’
But just reading the script aloud myself
It reads like the description of a car crash
With a dollop of cream and a cherry on top

I’ve taken to calling you Fishook
Legendary at reeling them in
But nothing of substance on offer
To keep anyone from jumping overboard

Poor little Fishook if only they understood you
Maybe if your encounters didn’t boil to a system
Like a self checkout vomiting out instructions
And they came into your little world
As if they were asteroids into your orbit
It wouldn’t be a case of method and results
It’d be a product of sweet love growing
Wouldn’t that be grand little Fishook

Lnc0

Unspent Youth Blues (Sung Version)

Childhood’s like a tax
You spend and spend till you’re all out
O’ the doors that open when your off the books
But they cut your payments short
Bleed you dry for every penny you owned
Now that debt follows you like a bad musk

You just want what any child would

Sandwhiched between love and attention
As you dig into the sunday roast
But nothing could be further from your reach
Yet the search never ends
No matter how many years go by
You just want what any child would
Yeah, you just want what any good kid do’

The shoulder slide at the bar
Your just looking for it
The wig wam on the dancefloor
Your just looking for it
The 20 questions out in smokers
Your just looking for it
The joint taxi ride home
Your just looking for it
Puppy dog eyes between their thighs
Your just looking for it
Fucking them untill the sun rise
Your just looking for it
You just want what any child would
Yeah, you just want what any good kid do’

Lnc0

SHOULD LOVE STING? [W.I.P]

God it pisses me off when you love me
But being mad ain’t no fun either
I guess I just want to reside in the battlefield
Where romance stays Hollywood, no matter the cost
For every wound we tend to
We make sure another replaces it
Sure beats making a bed in the ashes
Bored as can be

My greatest memories were never content days
Is anyone’s best memories the content days?
I remember the times you said you loved me
Just moments after telling me to die
The times you’d poke the land mines
Just to see if it was still live
Repugnant to the on looker
Polarising to the sane
But nothing made me thank god for this life
Like seeing the fire come to life in your eyes

You could never second guess our devotion
When the price of admission was so high
As you make the journey to square up to me
Only as you arrive, to end up kissing me
Cos lord knows I love it when your pissed at me
Cos being mad with you is a hell of a lot of fun

Lnc0

Don’t Fret

Could he, would he, should he, might he
The diagrams never seem to match reality
A submerged clue to the mystery of adultery
Or just the aimless flight of youth?
No matter how much you dig through the wardrobes

So don’t fret darling, don’t fret
Cos it’s not like you’ll accept the truth
If it comes to you in any other way
So don’t fret darling, don’t you fret
Just close those weary eyes, and hope
You might open up your third eye one day

What if you found the key in his trainers
And unleashed the swarm from Pandora’s Box?
Would it detract from the overall objective
The security of the cuddles and kisses come moonlight
What value could the truth hold for you
When ignorance is your only path to bliss

Lnc0

Vow’s Over

Awkward
Not for me, I’m doing great
But clearly I’ve been sent like Adam’s serpent
A beacon of a symbolic nature
To test your attachment to the choices made thus far
Cos you’d love nothing more then pay close attention
To his cynical colouring of Colchester’s par course
But somebody keeps stealing your gaze
And not for the first time either; if I may be so bold
It’s torture for both parties involved

Suddenly the pastels of regret invade the pallet
Thinking about what butterfly effects could put me in his seat
I didn’t follow you to V-Bar that night
Thought I’d spare you from dealing with a tyke like me
But maybe that’s the excuse of a patchwork heart
If I applied the earplugs with abandon
And followed the direction of the beat
I’d of beaten you to the doorman, for sure

Whatever the reason for this pawn to D3 move
I feel it was a pivotal one to throw the entire game
Your still the greatest mystery in my life
And the ending could betray the previews
But the way, even on your way to exit this domain
Your surroundings couldn’t help but agitate your curiosity
You double take to make sure your recollection was accurate
As our eyes once again align in perfect axis
And the smiles we exchanged in tenths of a second
Was enough to make me believe in romance again
I promise if we ever occupy the same space once again
We’ll trade a few words too

Lnc0