Para-para

I could use baseless devotion right now
Now now then ever before
The maps looking coffee stained and creased
With any beauty thriving among the microscopic

The visuals that usually remain exclusive
To a panic attacked backed up by 5 shots of rum
Are starting to bleed into the everyday
As towering bricks and steel start to melt
And the colour pours in between my toes
While citizens turn into goblins and creeps
I dunno what they are, what they’re thinking
Did they rob my future from me as a joke too?

Oh snapshot’s where are you?
The one’s you go back through on nostalgia trips
Remembering even the scents and feelings
Of a lazy summer by the riverbank
It’s as sickeningly sweet as it sounds
The kind of days that make you second take
At the Petri dish we all call a country
The perfectness of it makes me start to gag
Cos my body rejects such a sugary memory
After a diet of cardboard and grit
And an ever fading vision
I dunno if I can go back to comfort

Waking up in our clothes at the house party
The shared whipped cream on the nose
The Clinton card gestures: Forever immortalised
These are the things to keep life okay

Sebastian Noël

†-dressing (W.I.P)

“You’re so damn polarising” they say
“Just tone it down” They always tell me
But it’s just too much fun this way
Pick out aspects from the bed sheets
I shouldn’t be out of the house
I shouldn’t be out of my room
They send me cheques in the mail telling me so
When just getting up’s rebelling, what’cha to do?

Do you just keep it to yourself
Try and get away with it in the crowd
Or do you proclaim it loudly?
Put 2 out of 100 on double work load
Neither one feels like the right way
Nothing steeped in sane logical thought ever does
If I’m a lost cause anyway who cares?
I’m a major league on BBC4 with no rule book

So what I do is give in to absolutely everything
Until the outside feels like the inside
Slap on the leggings and the microscopic shorts
Hidden by grandma’s manufactured hand-me-down
Trying to emulate the only people I’ve admired
Till I’m the person they turn to admire
Then maybe they’ll treat me like them too
So sweet, so pure, so sought after
Eyes burning through my sweater; a dream come true
Outlined by the dance floor every Friday night

For better or for worse…

A finger nail marking down my sides
And the Mayans secure my place in the cosmos
Cos I was never born to survive
A laundry list of conversation stoppers
A hasty count town timer
Exchange the blind eye for pricing sight
To delay the snuffing out of my light
Do you think I look beautiful tonight?
Do you think I got the hang of appropriating right?
Cos I was born to a club that only ever hurt me
If I didn’t want to kill them where they stood
I wanted to rip their fucking tongues out
Have you ever been attracted to what disgusts you?
As their stubble scratches you in the moonlight

I’ll think I’ll just stick to the Yin
But I can’t help but compete with ‘em
I want to be the them they want to be everyday
I want them to be terrified of picking an outfit, lest we clash
So I guess it’s back to Yang with every intent to replace
What I’d give to receive the love you give them
That last puppy in the pound level of attention
To erase life itself, till your the prettiest girl in the room
Hand on heart reciting the psychotics oath
Cos there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get that love
I’d go from Mr to Mrs to back again
I’ll let you call me anything you want
Dress me like a doll, put me on parole
Just to be wanted, just to be found
To be the centre of attention
The apple of anyone’s eye
I tell you I’ll do absolutely anything
And that ain’t no lie

Sebastian Noël

Gone (W.I.P)

She shatters the sound barrier
With a silent mouth and detached glass
As the respiratory routine escapes her
It’s time to dissolve from the very time itself

With her iris now pillaging it’s shade
From every other faucet of her surrounding
As the scalp’s flowing red keeps the sunlight
Peeking from the fringe to survey the surrounding
Grasps turn into scuttles
As the portal’s to the gazes overpopulate
There’s no direction to go to incite some relief
This is the reality of the rest of the night henceforth

A̵̯̓ͯ̈́̊ͭͯͩ̀̚Ă̡̹̟͉̫̖̖̗̫̜̓ͦ͜Ā̷̭̙̪̭̪̙̖̔̍͂Ȁ͍̞̦̻̫̪̙͛ͬ́̿ͨ̓̿͛͢͡͞ͅA͒ͤ҉̭͞ͅA̧̡̬͎̬̪̝ͩ̓ͪ̚H̍̐̉̂ͣ́҉̘̲͈̟̺̪Ḧ̵͙̫̤͚̳͈̗̰̜́͂̍̄̂̍͢H̨̏ͯ҉͚͔͖̲̺R̨̩̹̩̅ͤ̊̋̄͂ͥ͝Ŗ̳̩̫ͫ̓̒̊̊͘U̥̱̱̗͉͚̜̯ͫͤͤ̅͛ͪ̉̒Ų̦̩̮͕̗̞͈̼͂̔ͣ́G̙̖͚̦̠̞͙͎̩͐͂̍̐̊̐̈́̚G͍̲͓̝̖̦̺̠̑̿ͨͅH̙̣̰͈̟̫̫̊̔̊̅ͮ̇̆͊͆Hͤ̇ͦ̋̋̚͡͏̝͉A̡̛̳͈͔̘̜̔̓͜Ḁ̫͗͒̊̽͊A̜̬̳̜̲͆ͯͯ͑̂́Ḁ̢͕̤̮̬͛͌͋̇̊ͨͪ̓̋͜ͅA̗̭ͮ̈́̇̔͋ͤ̈̉́͘G͐̈̅̇̚҉̢̗͍̲͕͟H̶̛̭͓̯̦͊̾ͭ̾͊̆́ͅH̴̷̛̹̃ͥ͆̅H̰̪͚͇̟̤̝͚ͣͤ͒̈́̈́ͪ͞Ḫ̗̟̭̇͛̎̏́̚ͅ

She’s gone, gone gone gone
Gone to somewhere beyond comprehension
He tries to follow you with tap water and lexicons
But such things don’t exist where she is now
With shutter eye visionscape
Stitched facial features
As the voids they covet send you straight to hell
A stethoscope prison, a smartphone filter ghetto
Gone gone gone gone gone

And he’s gone gone
Course he did what else would he do?
Why would he appear this time?
With the knowledge to set you free
Course he ain’t bloody here
Gone, gone, as I am too
I can’t return as is
She’ll have to enter stasis again

Sebastian Noël

It Never Ends

The biggest mistake we make as a species
Is that we think that it could ever end
No path to enlightenment ever concludes
No evil targeting your lively hood ever relents
Is the thought that drives people to the grave
That no Miami tinted destination will greet you
The reward comes with doing the act itself
No drug on the earth with emancipate you
The struggle never ends
The nightmare never ends
Self-betterment never ends
Progress never halts
Growth is never stunted
The light is never in reach
The goal is always out of reach
The reach is inconceivable

Cos where does that leave us?
Sitting with our mouths a gape
Waiting for the drip feed to release us
Never opening our eyes to how it enslaves us
The beginning never ends
The learning never ends
The pain won’t let up
The cure isn’t gonna come
Demands won’t stop coming in
The possibilities won’t expand
Yet the solution never changes
The climax is never unattractive
A finale won’t ever spoil
As your motivation, or as your reason
But the 3rd act doesn’t exist
The 74th act is never the last
The book isn’t gonna close
Cos the end has no end

Sebastian Noël

A Buh-Buh-Bored Boy

It always goes this way
2 stops from the station it goes this way
If not chasing the shadows of my losses
It’s trying to steal that which I haven’t earned
Yeah the closer I get, it always goes this way
9,000 years in the future and I’ll still be a brat

I’ll take any version of it making the rounds
Even if it’s by candle light to a brick wall
As I make a deceleration of a wordplay and poetry
To the reception of a single word review
Illuminated against the stars that have bothered to turn up
Don’t take it hard, just how things are
But an opportunity born from archaic rubble that be
Cos I can’t be fucked with the small talk either hunny

Fuck the colloquialism, designed to disguise
And fuck worshipping love like a religion
I just need a reason to live tonight baby
Like a spoonful of sugar, ain’t nothing wrong with enjoying it
Feed me any myth you want, I’ll swallow it down everytime
Like the house cocktail, I’ll down any shit you give me

I’ll take the first volunteer, cos I’m empty
Not like a man facing the knifes edge
But like a forgotten colouring book, down memory lane
I have no purpose without any input
By which way will my personality progress?
That’s down to you baby, and the shot you fling my way
I wouldn’t christen it desperation personally
That implies I haven’t survived colourless all this time
But god I’m so fucking impatient
Cos I’ve been stuck on chapter 3 for 9 novels straight

So please help me turn the page

Lnc0

The Non Title Too

The clothes on my back, the limbs on my torso
I’d trade it all in for the cheat code
To tell me what keeps me out of reach
But never out of their sight
Oh gracious, were you waiting for a signal
Waitin’ for me to swallow my pride, and writhe on the floor
Well consider my ego digested and gone
And my muscles in a state of constant voltage

And I always wondered
What if I caught you one day
Sipping on cream coolers in the sun
Would it be proper to get down on my knees
Or grab you by the collar and scream
“You’re not in that hell you go through on your own
Cos baby I’m right there too, dying all this time
So for the love of god, please help me!”
But would you?

Would you put a hit out on me?
If my personal leaked to your ears
Would it recontextualize years of malice
Into empathy and symmetry
I already knew the answers before I asked it
What a ridiculous notion to believe
But with no baseline to play too
Your mind conjures fantasies while stuck in the pipeline

Lnc0

The 4th Dimension – Part 2

We’re on the subject of eyes again
Cos they won’t stop looking
It’s always stare stare stare
Yeah stare stare stare stare stare
Maybe it’s high time I crossed back

Cos despite still residing in an invisible world
They cut through the 4th dimension anyways
Feel me in the same world they inhabit
They can’t understand what it is they found
But do they really want to know?
If I stepped back onto this world for them
Would they be disappointed by what they see?
Would they care about the real me?
They’d rather keep me a mystery I bet
Like the Sasquatch in the woods, or Nessie in the lake
Things are better kept legends
No need to spoil their illusion with fact

Cos no one accepted me in the 1st dimension
How am I to believe now would be different
Their content at staring at me
Like a freak in their favourite brand
Better to be alone in the 4th dimension

Lnc0

The 4th Dimension – Part 1

The 4th Dimension
It’s where I’ve been hiding for a very long time
To cower from any context looking to dilute
I’m barely holding together, the cracks glued by Pritt Stick
It’s safer to hide in the 4th Dimension

At the very least till my trail has gone cold
“How are you and…?” “Weren’t you with…”
“I ain’t spoken to you since….?”
I hide out of sight till they stop surveying
And those who look for me thin out
Then until they forget me
They might track me like lighthouse when I’m out
But I’m never really there
They can’t interact with that in the 4th dimension
So they stare, but remain still

But maybe it’s time I vacated
Back into a world where people do more then see me
I’m so scare of the scorn, the indifference
I want to believe however, I got to have faith
Someone wants me out of the 4th dimension

Lnc0

Feeder

You take to the skin peeling of your innocent face
With a fragmented thumbs up and a fake smile
And when we’re sounding the alarms to check if your alive
You show us the back of your hand, how dare we care
But you see empathy isn’t a renewable source
You keep spendin’ and spendin’ and it’s gonna run dry
Your jaw drops to the floor when I turn back around
But honey I’m handing out diamonds, and your treating them like copper

You say this isn’t love
And you ain’t wrong
I’d say this wasn’t love at all

Cos your a feeder through and through
You feed any evil that comes knocking at your door
We offer our hands out to help your up
Only to be treated with bites and scowls
But what of the hands that only want to give you slap?
Well your on your hands and knees for them aren’t you dear?
So it’s clear where our time falls on your scale of worth
And I know I’m at least worth a lot more then that

You think your the only one suffering
Some of us aren’t content licking our wounds dry
And of course your running low on time to help with that
But watch the spare time pour out of your pockets
When the scorpions are low on their ego quota
That is till he stings you in the back again
Then it’s back to me, hands and knees for the hand out
But no more, I’m above tending to the leaches

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

Split [W.I.P]

I don’t wanna split, don’t wanna split
But everyone’s content with lying
The taste of Superman courses through the glands
But it’s more then a tap of the snooze button
Oh it’s more then a case of being present
And it takes a lot more time then you got to spare
And we mustn’t hate those who spit out the food
After biting of more then they knew they were chewing
Cos any hand outstretched, no matter how weak the grip
Was always put there with the purest of intentions

And even when you work your arse to the bone
Sometimes you just run out of the stuff
Time, Soul, Care or even Heart
We should only give what we can spare
Cos our throne’s are waiting at the summit
And we ain’t got very long to make the hike up there
People you see they just don’t wanna follow you
You hand them the water and it tastes like sewage
Only then do you stop to see the state of your arms
Covered in bruises and scratches
We all want to be the hero if it’s in our sights
But sometimes it kills you, and they just gotta wait

So I tell you again I really don’t wanna split
Even though you felt the need to lie
I really can’t stand to split again
Even though all you do is fucking lie
I don’t want to hurt anyone again
And it hurts to accept your help
As much as it hurts you to give to me
I guess I gotta stay patient

Lnc0