What…. Literally Nothing Does To A Guy

I can’t be trusted with promises
Of cleansing the grime from my flesh
And arising in another dimension
I leap out of the oven before I’ve become complete
Who has time to wait, youth is ticking away
And I got a sparkling new ego to show off
A new zest on non-existent power
To show to my fellow corpses

I can’t wait to go back on all my words
Betray any sense of progression I’ve hinted at
It’s been to long since I’ve self-destructed
In the place to cause the most unrest
Can tears be the cause of nostalgia
Will it get the bruises to make a re-appearance
I get better with every wound on my body
I can’t wait to break the peace this summertime

Pain is pleasure
To destroy is to be reborn
Kill me however you want
Let me surge again

No one ever rooted for the healthy kid
No one ever jeered on the sane ones
I’m making to much progress for my liking
To make the kids look up is a death sentence
I’ve learnt that all to well in the jungle
We only recognize those who match us
Wound for wound, break for break
Until then they’re the bar, the goal, the target
I’m getting bored of being okay
The pitiable state is the most entertaining one

So is anyone gonna accept me as is?
As progressing? As ascending?
No one likes the sound of that face it
And now here I lay in the trucks path
Whatever comes out from the otherside
I predict the exact increase in unification
I know I’m right, I’m always right
Your only loved when your killing yourself

Lnc0

Meeeeeeeeeeer [W.I.P]

I grow tired of it
Of everyone blindly gabbing on my praises
Such a clear fucking lie
It’s why people can’t connect the opinion to the man

I bow down to peoples feet
Before clocking them on the chin
I run my hands through their hair
Before yanking a chunk of it out
I cry when they go
I groan when they stay
I buy any myth people throw my way
And keep the blindfold on the whole time
Only for my stomach to retch
At the revel of the sequels

But I’m the sight to be retched at surely?
Bruises and lashes from the tongue
All posed to the recipients
While keeping the answer book to myself
Not even a hint, not even a clue
If they can’t figure out, they don’t deserve to know
That’s the fun-loving logic you could deserve
When you strike a convo with that sulk at the bar

But now the documents leaked
And the stage by stage analysis is in public hands
Does it answer anything? Did it fill you in at all?
Does it make you see me as less of a nutcase?
At the very least does it explain
Why I kiss the feet of people who deserve a smack
And smack the people who deserve a kiss?
And if it does explain, do you understand?

Cos right now when the opinion reaches anyone’s ear
I have a hell of a job explaining the false advertising

Lnc0

80′s Kids Having Kids

What if you got his pause?
You think it’s just that easy?
Do you think he’d match your deal?
King for king, deck for deck
That he’d even stick around for the 2nd deal
After the audience has been appeased
Once he’s ego’s be re-inflated
“See? Carol saw me do that thing”
Cradling his ceremonial mug
Repeating the same summer park fable
I hope you didn’t put to much on that bet
Cos nothings quite gelling with you tonight

Was ‘love’ quite how you imagined it?
Or was it not as the prophecies foretell
You’ll never be a priority
Not when the real return is in the new blood

What if she sends you birthday cards?
You think it’s just that easy?
Do you think she’d lick your wounds clean?
Close every gash, stitch every cut

Lnc0

CBT Round 2

I dunno, I guess, Maayyybe?
Sorry ma’am, I don’t mean to dodge the question
Should I be honest though?
The more I open, the more turn their backs
I’ve lost troops so vital to a platoon that way
The kind you’d write songs about if they turn slightly right
I mean they’re just words right?
Words are the culprit of the most vicious crimes however

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
How much more skin have I gotta peel away?

But it’d be a waste of a weekly tenner sink
To ignore your advice, I know ma’am
But I take no pleasure biting into Adam’s apple
And to learn shame for my origins
It turns a straight forward bereavement
Into an inferno of malice
And honestly I keep drawing blanks
On what to resent the most of all

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
Haven’t you got more pressing patients to see?

It’d be a one way to the easy life
To keep my mouth shut and blame it on luck
But I know if I keep that up
The knife can only turn on it’s owner
And I know for how much they shake their heads
They know their idol would despair
If my future’s destined to be projected
On a door frame on a particularly cold Wednesday noon

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
What’s so bad on taking it all out on yourself?

It made me sick to even utter the hearsay
The first time for anything’s the hardest they say
Cos god knows I love and miss my mama
It’s never fun to trace the bullets trajectory
Straight to her SMG sniper rifle
Especially after an elaborate cover up operation
But what else I am paying a tenner a week for?
And I’m not uncovering anything not already present

I got so much to say
I know exactly who’s listening
And if I lose everyone, so what?
I deserve genuine affiliation, not an obligation

Lnc0

Terrible As A Dick, Terrible As A Bitch

Gland’s are swollen, hair’s a mess
Eyes like a reptile, that’s if they’re awake
Hearts playing squish against my ribcage
London’s arches have fallen down
As I zip two and fro the town walls
Cos no place stocks my size 12’s
Least not unless I wanna take out a mortgage
Sulking the afternoon over a toffee exlir
Panic spending to justify the return ticket here
Spent the money on a 7" I didn’t even like

It’s tantrum time
Cos I’m tired of being the awkward element
None of my conversations seem to flow
“No it’s about more then the shoes” I said
My friend took to it like a Jehovah leaflet
“But I’m telling you” I said “It’s a sign of my pathway”
Glancing at his watch “Listen man I gotta go”
Maybe it’s something only people like me would know
Those of us who’ve been the caramel on the molar
Feet too buff for kicks, shoulders too broad for threads
Too tichy to be fat, too wide to be skinny
Never been that, won’t ever be this
“I hate to bother you but…” The motto of a life-time

I thought genetics could sneak the hint under the desk
For some semblance of the direction I could go
Yet for every second, a lady will whisper into my ear
“I wish I had your curly hair, your long nails or soft skin
Not to mention the manslaughter I’d commit for them eyelashes”
A story my thighs and hips could collaborate
And with the pay wall being so high
Is it any wonder so many young men cast away that identity
Tell the £75 periwinkles to fuck off
And embrace the 2 for deal on the heeled boots
Too poor to be a guy, but whatever I find out that’s on their head

Lnc0

Echoes

Echoes I wish you were kinder to me
To have some special awareness for the context
And reconfigure yourself on my behalf
To make the wait a little more bearable

Cos even when interceptors pause your return
They’re not much kinder to me
Even when the slots fit the wounds
And we recite our medication from memory
They still refrain from embracing me
Even when the evidence continues to mount
That there’s no one better equipped in this life
For our car wreck existences
Still even when we’re standing here
Crying, vulnerable and dying
They refuse to embrace me
Echoes please tell me why?

Don’t I give them the euphoria they crave?
Don’t I sustain all their needs?
How much more of myself to I have to carve out
Before they embrace me again?
Can you tell me that echoes?
I don’t know how much more waiting I can do

Lnc0

Blah Blah

I feel like a skipping record
Still moaning about the same old things
Blah blah misunderstood blah blah
Blah blah society blah blah
I’ve got too sound very one tone
Still angry about the same old things
Blah blah family blah blah
Blah emotional blah abuse blah
I’ve got to appear pretty weak
Still not recovered from the same hurts
Blah blah gaslight blah blah
Blah autism blah intolerance blah
I’ve got to be a masochist
Revisiting all the same wounds
Blah blah dad’s a cunt blah
Blah blah mummy issues blah

I wish I got a new tune
But the same old doesn’t stop hurting
A long list of unreceived apologies
It never stops making me mad
So I’ll kick and stomp and chat the same shit
Till I get everything I want
Blah blah blah blah blah
Let me tell you how shit it is
Snore Snore Snore Snore
I’m not gonna stop till you listen
Blah blah blah blah blah
Until you can repeat it back to me
Snore snore snore snore

THAT [blah] IS SHIT
THAT [blah] IS A CUNT
GO ON! REPEAT IT BACK TO ME:
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!

Lnc0

If You Think This Is About You; Send A DM My Way

My love note fingers are itching again
Cos I’m craving to write that next romance title
But it’s impossible to employ the precision to aim
When you’re surrounded by Mr and Mrs Cunt 2016
So when I write my next candy floss babble
About the majesty of their bottomless gaze
Feel free to intercept the trajectory
Cos it’s about you! It’s about whoever wants it

Cos my hearts craving infatuation
It’s craving a new obsession
Something to steal every new thought
A new recipient of my love letters

A coffee shop romance novel
A soliloquy from the otherside of the bar?
Whatever you want, you got it girl
I’ll attach my notebook to your veins
And cure your romantic waning
Cos god know I’m falling back on tropes

A fabricated narrative for your grandkids
A note to find in a box of nostalgia
A campfire tale about your lost love
It’s a blank cheque, go nuts with it
I’m no use to myself clearly
I’m like mayonnaise trying to be a main course
So apply me to your daydream lessons
My only point on this earth is to enhance

So pop in your request now
I can create it in any form you need
Meek and shy
Bold and assertive
Anything to keep me scribbling
My only way of life

Lnc0

The Agony Of Waiting [✓Seen]

Tick tock, tick tock
Social occasions
Tick tock, tick tock
Hell in the form of a back burner

Indecision takes it’s time
If it’s even there
Maybe the decisions been made
Is that good?
Is that bad?
I’d give anything to time travel and know

That’s even if I do know
Could I be too dense?
Or the victim of procrastination?
A mountain of text saying nothing
Or could I spot the meaning in the blurs?
Maybe my friend could tell me so?
If they’re not too mad at me
For my cliff notes chatter
As I waste away in front of a phone screen
Oh please just release me

Lnc0

CBT: Round 1

Apprehension, fear, paranoia, intolerance
Brattyness, stubbornness, unhelpfulness
Worse cocktails have been mixed on Clacton’s shores
I know it must taste like champagne in comparison
But you can’t just ignore those scrunched up mugs
“Oh god” They go “THAT’S why your here?”
Even the convicts scoff at that
“I’ve done a murder, but holy geez I weren’t a prick about it”

…Maaaybe they didn’t actually say that
I am filling the blanks of prolonged silence
But it’s grim to see your deplorable self
As the version you get up an pronounce publicly
On file, like the main cut from a DVD
Not a B-side, but as the lead single
Don’t like it? Great, join the club
I’m not here cos I’m fond of it myself y’know?

Abandonment issues are ugly
The rapid from self-pity to vanity is ugly
Every ounce of guys is ugly
It’s all fucking ugly really ain’t it?
So lets just get on with it
Hang out the dirty washing
And set the whole thing on fire
Before putting the ashes in your morning brew

“Lol wuteva, that ain’t me mate”

Lnc0