Tag: love poem

†-dressing (W.I.P)

“You’re so damn polarising” they say
“Just tone it down” They always tell me
But it’s just too much fun this way
Pick out aspects from the bed sheets
I shouldn’t be out of the house
I shouldn’t be out of my room
They send me cheques in the mail telling me so
When just getting up’s rebelling, what’cha to do?

Do you just keep it to yourself
Try and get away with it in the crowd
Or do you proclaim it loudly?
Put 2 out of 100 on double work load
Neither one feels like the right way
Nothing steeped in sane logical thought ever does
If I’m a lost cause anyway who cares?
I’m a major league on BBC4 with no rule book

So what I do is give in to absolutely everything
Until the outside feels like the inside
Slap on the leggings and the microscopic shorts
Hidden by grandma’s manufactured hand-me-down
Trying to emulate the only people I’ve admired
Till I’m the person they turn to admire
Then maybe they’ll treat me like them too
So sweet, so pure, so sought after
Eyes burning through my sweater; a dream come true
Outlined by the dance floor every Friday night

For better or for worse…

A finger nail marking down my sides
And the Mayans secure my place in the cosmos
Cos I was never born to survive
A laundry list of conversation stoppers
A hasty count town timer
Exchange the blind eye for pricing sight
To delay the snuffing out of my light
Do you think I look beautiful tonight?
Do you think I got the hang of appropriating right?
Cos I was born to a club that only ever hurt me
If I didn’t want to kill them where they stood
I wanted to rip their fucking tongues out
Have you ever been attracted to what disgusts you?
As their stubble scratches you in the moonlight

I’ll think I’ll just stick to the Yin
But I can’t help but compete with ‘em
I want to be the them they want to be everyday
I want them to be terrified of picking an outfit, lest we clash
So I guess it’s back to Yang with every intent to replace
What I’d give to receive the love you give them
That last puppy in the pound level of attention
To erase life itself, till your the prettiest girl in the room
Hand on heart reciting the psychotics oath
Cos there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get that love
I’d go from Mr to Mrs to back again
I’ll let you call me anything you want
Dress me like a doll, put me on parole
Just to be wanted, just to be found
To be the centre of attention
The apple of anyone’s eye
I tell you I’ll do absolutely anything
And that ain’t no lie

Sebastian Noël

Vow’s Over

Awkward
Not for me, I’m doing great
But clearly I’ve been sent like Adam’s serpent
A beacon of a symbolic nature
To test your attachment to the choices made thus far
Cos you’d love nothing more then pay close attention
To his cynical colouring of Colchester’s par course
But somebody keeps stealing your gaze
And not for the first time either; if I may be so bold
It’s torture for both parties involved

Suddenly the pastels of regret invade the pallet
Thinking about what butterfly effects could put me in his seat
I didn’t follow you to V-Bar that night
Thought I’d spare you from dealing with a tyke like me
But maybe that’s the excuse of a patchwork heart
If I applied the earplugs with abandon
And followed the direction of the beat
I’d of beaten you to the doorman, for sure

Whatever the reason for this pawn to D3 move
I feel it was a pivotal one to throw the entire game
Your still the greatest mystery in my life
And the ending could betray the previews
But the way, even on your way to exit this domain
Your surroundings couldn’t help but agitate your curiosity
You double take to make sure your recollection was accurate
As our eyes once again align in perfect axis
And the smiles we exchanged in tenths of a second
Was enough to make me believe in romance again
I promise if we ever occupy the same space once again
We’ll trade a few words too

Lnc0

Byakko

I want to drown in hypothesis
Or at least have the calculus running
In the background as it always has
The hum that helps me fall to sleep
Recollection of injecting the joy into your husk
Truly discard the armour for just a moment
Tracing out clouds, comparing daisies collected
The closest we get to a single digit percentage
To a state they call ‘genuine’
Single moment where all the poems and verses
About the light of the invisible pulls
Start to creep into the reality I inhabit
The rumour they call love

That verbal hypnotism gives me that glow
Of a hundred kisses given under the sheets
And if you ever contacted me with those lips
I’d dissolve with the fauna’s pollen
And I’ll cease to exist in this world
As pure and innocent as I entered it

Can I really let that wane?
Turn of that white noise
And find a way to peace in the silence
Find comfort in the realm of nothingness
I know the symbiote nature has to cease
I’d gladly donate all my insides
But not to see you die in my sight
Again and again and again

If only I’d of intervened with your destruction
And wasn’t obsessed with the perfect timing
Kept endgame to the side
And my heart to myself
The way it beats no different right now
Then time wasting nights in Williams and Griffin
The beats no different for these 7 years
If I was weak to love you then
Then this can only be complete devotion
Not a single atom hasn’t been in your grasp

But I’ll revoke those custody rights
No matter how much it’ll kill me inside
Cos I can’t bring myself to relay
Just how much I’ve loved you
How many times I’ve howled in my cage
Weeping over flashbacks of holding you tight
We was so damn sure we’d never let go
In the company of one born in the same dimension
Everyone else feels like an abstract collage
You were the only thing in focus
And now nothing makes sense
But can you tell me? To really nail the coffin in

Did you ever feel the love come around again?

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

(end)/

I weighed up my values side by side
Placed ‘em on the scales and seized them up
As I try to visualize a rerun of the program
The tears, the hope draining from her eyes
Having to witness the defamation of herself
And great it not with violence, but with a smile
A hug and empty attempts to save her from harm
Because who snuck that poison in the first place?
I hope wisdom would steer you on back to the road
But you were never heading that way in the first place

It’s embarrassing to admit the time it took
To take the binds from the eyeballs
Cos that girls a glutton for punishment
She smacks those who offer her a hand
And kisses those who would slap her
While the cosmos grants her wishes
To turn the allies of the state on each other
She tells us to strike down the evil doer
While leaking our advance to the adversary
Reporting how the republic stands to tear them apart

But it’s no tall tale, for sure he’s a low life
The kind that needs to see his girl’s soul shatter
To justify his bitter existence
As he tells another one, how he’s calculated her worth
But I might need to sell my Riot Grrrl records
Seems I’ve been mislead about the woes of violation
As she bows down at this for more lashes
After she slams the door in his face

Now my back really fucking aches
From all the times you collapsed in my arms
It’s tough to see that hard work go to waste
As you materialized, handcuffed to his knees
Only after a spectacle, a Broadway in pain
Staring at us in the box seats, to make sure we’re looking
Before you rupture my fragile heart with your cry
We scream and shout for you to turn your head
Are you okay? Are you safe!?
As you close the scissors on the radio line
And you edit the script for your alone time
You crawl on your knees, and proceed to beg
“Please bruise me, leave me black and blue
Call me retarded, call me pathetic, call me unworthy
But please wait until the eyes are looking this way
So they react to me in the aftermath”

But darling I truly do love you
In ways indescribable to the human tongue
We truly borrowed thoughts from the same realms
They could switch our DNA and nothing would change
My aspiration, my idol, my pipe dream
To be with you, To BE you, to be everything around you
A wife, A doppelgänger, the origin of all power in the earth
Crumbling to shreds in my very claws
We know in this age, all your heroes will let you down
The lens has been torn away, I barely kept my lobes
I’ve spent these years emulating a character in my head
And the proof we can escape torment dies with you too
Understand that you’re a bad omen for me
Cos I’ve always been more woman then man
And if someone with your potential can’t break free?
Then what chance do us mere mortals have?

Lnc0

There’s Majesty In The Art Of Doing Nothing

Gorging on the flavours of a grass reed
The tip of my hat blinding of the worlds evils
Like shirtless apes poking a ball around
While sniffing the skirts of innocent passers-by
And low end music students butcher Skinny Love
In the hopes of finding validation in their life choices
While the ladies parade the cobble catwalk
With shoestring outfits on a shoestring budget

I live for them milliseconds chances
Where the ends of our arm hairs collide
If just for a fraction, while we try and get comfortable
It’s the perfect catalyst for the event
Where the gravity between us grows more intense
A mysterious phenomenon that we can’t explain
I better hold onto your hand dear
Before you float away from us, into the stars unknown

Conversations flow like butter
Our limbs tangle like taffy
Subjects slide away like grease
Smiles behind fringes like sugar
Top it off with caricature descriptions
Slathered head to toe with syrup

Barraged by thoughts of tracing fridge magnet drawings on your side
Whilst you stand just outside of my bedroom window
Your silhouette contrasting with the collapse of the day time
Like a monument erected behind a cathedral stain window
Trying to keep away from miles away, my current Everest
There’s nothing I can do, I have to abandon my cool, and gush to you

With my limbs and tongue infused with velocity
I offer refuge from the English weathers tantrum
We could widdle away the hours trying to find the moles on our arms
Playing thumb wars, I spy and analyse the dye in our eyes
Because if you ask me there’s an art in wasting time
With the most immaculate company a boy could hope to find

~Dedicated To Esme~

Just Four Words

I feel like anything I’ve claimed to have cherished
Is slowly sieving through my fingers like sand
Their’s no place to call my home
Their’s no person to call my own
Laying on a loaned mattress in a loaned domain
I feel like the batteries aren’t included now more then ever
I have no idea what was going through my mind
When I picked up the only thing keeping our door ajar
And against any intelligent thinking
Send you a message of just four words

Just four little words to let you know
You still come into my thoughts every now and then

What a massage to a broken ego our time was
In the company of those who would call me worthless
You let me know my words captivated your heart
In the company of those who would call me incapable
You made me feel like I could be a real man
In the company of those who would call me detestable
You grabbed me from the public eye so I could be all yours
Just four words to tell you how much that meant to me

Just four little words to let you know
How much I could use your company right now

When you get my little fortune in your cookie
What exactly will happen?
Will you drop the ban you’ve placed on yourself
And get the first method of transport to my house
Knock on the door exactly three times
And lay your arms around me in an embrace
Tell me you never meant anything by it
And that you want to make up for lost time

But probably not
And the guarantee we’ll never cross paths ever again
Will only grow stronger like a gaping chasm
Now I’ve sent you those four little words

Just four little words to let you know
I’m still thinking about you
Just four little words
I really miss you

*Written For National Poetry Month – 27/30*

Tsundere

Ecch, Blacch, Accck
Just some of the noises the on lookers make
When they see me follow your lead, mere seconds
After an onslaught of demoralisation
My appearance and my character come under fire
But I don’t expect people
Who just lick the sugar of a doughnut
To understand how good the jam inside is
Cos I know like a kitty batting a new toy
Each and every lash from the tongue
Is the only way you can show your affection
Call me delusional, but I know this for sure
Cos just like a yo-yo the further I move away
More you come back to me in spades

I can’t imagine you’d believe a single word of the accounts
From the pages of my personal histroia
You like to make it out as if I’m a lost traveller in desert
Oh I wouldn’t say that I’m not dying of thirst right now
As we lie in on a weeknight, knowing an oasis on sensual liberation
Is just a fingertip away, oh god I’m such a whore right?

And yet your face seems to crash down a few floors
When you spot the tales of the ones preceded you
Hey it’s that girl you always spot around the club
The one you always used to visualize next to the mirror
Yeah, you better believe we did
Then suddenly your grip on my arm gets tighter
And you now you say I’m just a doofus instead a prick
As shallow as it gets, but I guess girls will be girls

Oh but darling all this it could be yours
All you have to do is leave the armour at the barracks
And hand me a joystick, and un-pause the adventure
If just for a night

*Written For National Poetry Month – 25/30*

We Met At The D&D Due

I only popped round from the corner on a whim
What other treats could a Sunday afternoon provide?
The toenail clippings of a week schedule on the T.V
The breadcrumbs stocked in all the super markets
The lost puppies parading around the streets
The doctors have only given me 2 hours left
Before my brain cells shut down and my blood runs thin
For boredom itself has taken me to the other side

But If I must drop all traces of a indifferent facade
I couldn’t help but feel I’d of paid 10x my bus fair
Just to see you give me that look from behind your specifically
From behind the room, then for you to stroll on my way
Just to say hi, and to wean me into the rituals
I couldn’t say I’m green on the subject of table top
But I’ll keep those titbits to myself if you don’t mind
Just to make the joke I’ve only heard of Monopoly before

The moon bursts on the scene and foils my fun yet again
But the next week seems like an entire era’s away
So to tide me till then I offer you a brew in town
You say you have to run back for your nanna’s birthday due
But I’ll get you in front of my gaze yet my dear
Separated only by the coffee shop oak, I make a vow now

And when they ask how we first meet
I’ll tell them we met at the D&D due

*Written For National Poetry Month – 24/30*

Thick (W.I.P)

After our friends fuck off for a fag break
We find ourselves standing side to side
With our backs to the receding wallpaper
Under the second hand Maplin spotlights
It highlights the dread in your golden eyes
No matter how many times you lick those lips
You can never reach out and claim what’s rightfully yours
You can never let a good thing just be a good thing

You stare down at your feet, looking quite forlorn
You lament how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that couldn’t solve 2 x 4
While stuck in the middle of a Casio showroom

I know you’d rather pass a kidney stone
Then to hear about how your the apple of my eye
But god every second I see you stuck in the dumps
It sucks away my spirit like strawberry milkshake

You stare down at your shoes, like I hit a trigger
You recall how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that receives the sniggers
While stuck in the queue at the cafeteria

Please listen to the gospel that I’m shouting
Stop using what the dregs used to say
As an excuse to not shoot for what your wanting
I’m on my knees, please baby just embrace me!
I want to tickle your toes in the bathtub
Feed you strawberries by the lakeside
Trace circles on your palm during the book club
Turn you into a god when the confidence has died
Feel you hold my arm when your overcome with fright
To see you stamp your feet when I don’t pick up the slack
Kiss you on the head and make-up after a fight
Gnaw on your neck while you leave slashes on my back
Please darling I’m fucking begging you now
Just listen to tremors coming from my chest
Put aside all them nasty scowls
And just fucking accept me for everything I am

Before I start to grow callous
And my heart turns into dust

* For National Poetry Month – 6/30 *