80′s Kids Having Kids

What if you got his pause?
You think it’s just that easy?
Do you think he’d match your deal?
King for king, deck for deck
That he’d even stick around for the 2nd deal
After the audience has been appeased
Once he’s ego’s be re-inflated
“See? Carol saw me do that thing”
Cradling his ceremonial mug
Repeating the same summer park fable
I hope you didn’t put to much on that bet
Cos nothings quite gelling with you tonight

Was ‘love’ quite how you imagined it?
Or was it not as the prophecies foretell
You’ll never be a priority
Not when the real return is in the new blood

What if she sends you birthday cards?
You think it’s just that easy?
Do you think she’d lick your wounds clean?
Close every gash, stitch every cut

Lnc0

CBT Round 2

I dunno, I guess, Maayyybe?
Sorry ma’am, I don’t mean to dodge the question
Should I be honest though?
The more I open, the more turn their backs
I’ve lost troops so vital to a platoon that way
The kind you’d write songs about if they turn slightly right
I mean they’re just words right?
Words are the culprit of the most vicious crimes however

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
How much more skin have I gotta peel away?

But it’d be a waste of a weekly tenner sink
To ignore your advice, I know ma’am
But I take no pleasure biting into Adam’s apple
And to learn shame for my origins
It turns a straight forward bereavement
Into an inferno of malice
And honestly I keep drawing blanks
On what to resent the most of all

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
Haven’t you got more pressing patients to see?

It’d be a one way to the easy life
To keep my mouth shut and blame it on luck
But I know if I keep that up
The knife can only turn on it’s owner
And I know for how much they shake their heads
They know their idol would despair
If my future’s destined to be projected
On a door frame on a particularly cold Wednesday noon

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
What’s so bad on taking it all out on yourself?

It made me sick to even utter the hearsay
The first time for anything’s the hardest they say
Cos god knows I love and miss my mama
It’s never fun to trace the bullets trajectory
Straight to her SMG sniper rifle
Especially after an elaborate cover up operation
But what else I am paying a tenner a week for?
And I’m not uncovering anything not already present

I got so much to say
I know exactly who’s listening
And if I lose everyone, so what?
I deserve genuine affiliation, not an obligation

Lnc0

Terrible As A Dick, Terrible As A Bitch

Gland’s are swollen, hair’s a mess
Eyes like a reptile, that’s if they’re awake
Hearts playing squish against my ribcage
London’s arches have fallen down
As I zip two and fro the town walls
Cos no place stocks my size 12’s
Least not unless I wanna take out a mortgage
Sulking the afternoon over a toffee exlir
Panic spending to justify the return ticket here
Spent the money on a 7" I didn’t even like

It’s tantrum time
Cos I’m tired of being the awkward element
None of my conversations seem to flow
“No it’s about more then the shoes” I said
My friend took to it like a Jehovah leaflet
“But I’m telling you” I said “It’s a sign of my pathway”
Glancing at his watch “Listen man I gotta go”
Maybe it’s something only people like me would know
Those of us who’ve been the caramel on the molar
Feet too buff for kicks, shoulders too broad for threads
Too tichy to be fat, too wide to be skinny
Never been that, won’t ever be this
“I hate to bother you but…” The motto of a life-time

I thought genetics could sneak the hint under the desk
For some semblance of the direction I could go
Yet for every second, a lady will whisper into my ear
“I wish I had your curly hair, your long nails or soft skin
Not to mention the manslaughter I’d commit for them eyelashes”
A story my thighs and hips could collaborate
And with the pay wall being so high
Is it any wonder so many young men cast away that identity
Tell the £75 periwinkles to fuck off
And embrace the 2 for deal on the heeled boots
Too poor to be a guy, but whatever I find out that’s on their head

Lnc0

Echoes

Echoes I wish you were kinder to me
To have some special awareness for the context
And reconfigure yourself on my behalf
To make the wait a little more bearable

Cos even when interceptors pause your return
They’re not much kinder to me
Even when the slots fit the wounds
And we recite our medication from memory
They still refrain from embracing me
Even when the evidence continues to mount
That there’s no one better equipped in this life
For our car wreck existences
Still even when we’re standing here
Crying, vulnerable and dying
They refuse to embrace me
Echoes please tell me why?

Don’t I give them the euphoria they crave?
Don’t I sustain all their needs?
How much more of myself to I have to carve out
Before they embrace me again?
Can you tell me that echoes?
I don’t know how much more waiting I can do

Lnc0

Blah Blah

I feel like a skipping record
Still moaning about the same old things
Blah blah misunderstood blah blah
Blah blah society blah blah
I’ve got too sound very one tone
Still angry about the same old things
Blah blah family blah blah
Blah emotional blah abuse blah
I’ve got to appear pretty weak
Still not recovered from the same hurts
Blah blah gaslight blah blah
Blah autism blah intolerance blah
I’ve got to be a masochist
Revisiting all the same wounds
Blah blah dad’s a cunt blah
Blah blah mummy issues blah

I wish I got a new tune
But the same old doesn’t stop hurting
A long list of unreceived apologies
It never stops making me mad
So I’ll kick and stomp and chat the same shit
Till I get everything I want
Blah blah blah blah blah
Let me tell you how shit it is
Snore Snore Snore Snore
I’m not gonna stop till you listen
Blah blah blah blah blah
Until you can repeat it back to me
Snore snore snore snore

THAT [blah] IS SHIT
THAT [blah] IS A CUNT
GO ON! REPEAT IT BACK TO ME:
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!

Lnc0

If You Think This Is About You; Send A DM My Way

My love note fingers are itching again
Cos I’m craving to write that next romance title
But it’s impossible to employ the precision to aim
When you’re surrounded by Mr and Mrs Cunt 2016
So when I write my next candy floss babble
About the majesty of their bottomless gaze
Feel free to intercept the trajectory
Cos it’s about you! It’s about whoever wants it

Cos my hearts craving infatuation
It’s craving a new obsession
Something to steal every new thought
A new recipient of my love letters

A coffee shop romance novel
A soliloquy from the otherside of the bar?
Whatever you want, you got it girl
I’ll attach my notebook to your veins
And cure your romantic waning
Cos god know I’m falling back on tropes

A fabricated narrative for your grandkids
A note to find in a box of nostalgia
A campfire tale about your lost love
It’s a blank cheque, go nuts with it
I’m no use to myself clearly
I’m like mayonnaise trying to be a main course
So apply me to your daydream lessons
My only point on this earth is to enhance

So pop in your request now
I can create it in any form you need
Meek and shy
Bold and assertive
Anything to keep me scribbling
My only way of life

Lnc0

The Agony Of Waiting [✓Seen]

Tick tock, tick tock
Social occasions
Tick tock, tick tock
Hell in the form of a back burner

Indecision takes it’s time
If it’s even there
Maybe the decisions been made
Is that good?
Is that bad?
I’d give anything to time travel and know

That’s even if I do know
Could I be too dense?
Or the victim of procrastination?
A mountain of text saying nothing
Or could I spot the meaning in the blurs?
Maybe my friend could tell me so?
If they’re not too mad at me
For my cliff notes chatter
As I waste away in front of a phone screen
Oh please just release me

Lnc0

CBT: Round 1

Apprehension, fear, paranoia, intolerance
Brattyness, stubbornness, unhelpfulness
Worse cocktails have been mixed on Clacton’s shores
I know it must taste like champagne in comparison
But you can’t just ignore those scrunched up mugs
“Oh god” They go “THAT’S why your here?”
Even the convicts scoff at that
“I’ve done a murder, but holy geez I weren’t a prick about it”

…Maaaybe they didn’t actually say that
I am filling the blanks of prolonged silence
But it’s grim to see your deplorable self
As the version you get up an pronounce publicly
On file, like the main cut from a DVD
Not a B-side, but as the lead single
Don’t like it? Great, join the club
I’m not here cos I’m fond of it myself y’know?

Abandonment issues are ugly
The rapid from self-pity to vanity is ugly
Every ounce of guys is ugly
It’s all fucking ugly really ain’t it?
So lets just get on with it
Hang out the dirty washing
And set the whole thing on fire
Before putting the ashes in your morning brew

“Lol wuteva, that ain’t me mate”

Lnc0

The Spark -The First Movement-

The 9-5 method of preservation
Just to fund the monthly sink to hasten the decay
As he whispers cynical realities into your ears
Clip the wings, petrify the soul
So escape seems impossible
So settling seems inevitable
Cos if you could fly away
Then we all could escape the loop
And the notion of effort couldn’t repulse him more
So he jots down a script, time to dose the fire

But channel out the equalisers
Your destiny was always to become The Spark
Soar into the second reality
Become the lighting rod to power us all
To make our plasma supercharged
Break free of the confines
Taste our dreams resting upon our tongues
We’ve put more stock into you then is healthy

But The Spark’s duty comes at a cost
Especially in front of the malicious kind
Who need to be the top of their podiums
They’re content with moulding into the tarmac
They can’t have you excelling at all
Not at the risk of smelting their gold into bronze

So they’ll tell you anything they can
Show you a descending ladder into crystals
And then they’ll ‘Welcome you to reality’
Then if you start to ascend that ladder
You become ‘The Idiot’ you become ‘The Retard’
Turn the world into the hopeless one

If only you could see the grace in you, that we do
That you’re potential incarnate
The working class heroine the snake pit deserves
You gotta show us a world where it’s possible
To escape the blindfold of the abuse cycle
Deleting the failsafe installed at birth
That we have to take the very little we can get
That safety comes at cost of your entire life
None of us want to believe any of that’s true
I know for a fact you don’t wanna think that’s true

So come on XXXXXX you can’t fall here now
Your lowly doppelgängers just want to believe
Because if it’s all hopeless and you fall here now
Then I’ll pull the fucking trigger

Lnc0

You’re Speaking Too Honestly

You can see the gaps in my bones
The moss over my eyes, the salamander’s tongue
But it’s never enough for you people
You need to hear the bone snap in two
See the plasma try and escape the vein
And even then you take it to a debate
“Anyone could’ve installed that mindset
Treated your body like a flesh eating virus
For such a prolonged period, that you believe it too”
It could’ve been anyone, but no one’s as cruel as you people

Every cough is an attack
Every wince is an implication
“If you truly pine for our love; expire quietly
People may be looking, and I don’t feel responsible today”
When can a gash be an accident?
When is anything aloud to just be bad luck?
Or to even imply malicious intent?
Maybe every dinner wasn’t a golden lobster?

How far do I have to go to get some cunting sympathy?
Tear my ribs open from the outside
Show you every inch of my cellular structure
Just to prove it’s not a flesh eating virus destroying me?
Content with cheering and throwing fish into the tank
When the cat-tails exclusively indulged in Flagellant acts
But after the lens have been applied, and I suggest culprits
“Well now your taking this moaning thing too far”

Thanks for the affirmation
That blood only acts as a deterrent
The gag, the constrictor, the reveal
To keep me still, make me quiet
Tear the arteries open
Then get that cancer out of me

“I would feel empathy as all humans do
But here you see is my dilemma
To gain humanity now could shed a bad light
On the absent mind of my previous interactions
So sadly I’m gonna have to abstain from shedding a tear
And I hope you don’t mind me avoiding your trainwreck carcass”

Lnc0