Blah Blah

I feel like a skipping record
Still moaning about the same old things
Blah blah misunderstood blah blah
Blah blah society blah blah
I’ve got too sound very one tone
Still angry about the same old things
Blah blah family blah blah
Blah emotional blah abuse blah
I’ve got to appear pretty weak
Still not recovered from the same hurts
Blah blah gaslight blah blah
Blah autism blah intolerance blah
I’ve got to be a masochist
Revisiting all the same wounds
Blah blah dad’s a cunt blah
Blah blah mummy issues blah

I wish I got a new tune
But the same old doesn’t stop hurting
A long list of unreceived apologies
It never stops making me mad
So I’ll kick and stomp and chat the same shit
Till I get everything I want
Blah blah blah blah blah
Let me tell you how shit it is
Snore Snore Snore Snore
I’m not gonna stop till you listen
Blah blah blah blah blah
Until you can repeat it back to me
Snore snore snore snore

THAT [blah] IS SHIT
THAT [blah] IS A CUNT
GO ON! REPEAT IT BACK TO ME:
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!

Lnc0

If You Think This Is About You; Send A DM My Way

My love note fingers are itching again
Cos I’m craving to write that next romance title
But it’s impossible to employ the precision to aim
When you’re surrounded by Mr and Mrs Cunt 2016
So when I write my next candy floss babble
About the majesty of their bottomless gaze
Feel free to intercept the trajectory
Cos it’s about you! It’s about whoever wants it

Cos my hearts craving infatuation
It’s craving a new obsession
Something to steal every new thought
A new recipient of my love letters

A coffee shop romance novel
A soliloquy from the otherside of the bar?
Whatever you want, you got it girl
I’ll attach my notebook to your veins
And cure your romantic waning
Cos god know I’m falling back on tropes

A fabricated narrative for your grandkids
A note to find in a box of nostalgia
A campfire tale about your lost love
It’s a blank cheque, go nuts with it
I’m no use to myself clearly
I’m like mayonnaise trying to be a main course
So apply me to your daydream lessons
My only point on this earth is to enhance

So pop in your request now
I can create it in any form you need
Meek and shy
Bold and assertive
Anything to keep me scribbling
My only way of life

Lnc0

The Agony Of Waiting [✓Seen]

Tick tock, tick tock
Social occasions
Tick tock, tick tock
Hell in the form of a back burner

Indecision takes it’s time
If it’s even there
Maybe the decisions been made
Is that good?
Is that bad?
I’d give anything to time travel and know

That’s even if I do know
Could I be too dense?
Or the victim of procrastination?
A mountain of text saying nothing
Or could I spot the meaning in the blurs?
Maybe my friend could tell me so?
If they’re not too mad at me
For my cliff notes chatter
As I waste away in front of a phone screen
Oh please just release me

Lnc0

ishanijasmin:

PASSIONFRUIT #1: DOWN TO EARTH

this is the beginning of a series of zines about passions and labours of love, about things that give you fire and pastimes you enjoy. 

with summer coming up, i want to make the theme of this first issue earth. all modes of submission (short of video and music, though you can include video stills) are welcome – writing, art, illustrations, doodles, playlists, guides, postcards, photographs, etc. 

things in particular that would be cool:

– diary entries about nature 
– guides on how to forage, how to make a wreath, how to be more in touch with nature
– earthy playlists
– playlists for walks
– scans of postcards, with writing on the back
– sketches of birds or deer or things you’ve seen in the woods
– smaller, cultivated nature, for those of you in the city
– reviews/essays on your favourite lo-fi album
– recipes
– spells. i’m super keen on spells and intentions right now

please send your submissions to ishanijasmin@gmail.com, or submit here!

DEADLINE IS MAY 15! please submit, tell yr friends!

Any of me followers interested in partaking in this? 🙂 I would but my only contribution would be a guide on taking the best naps in nature parks, I dunno how valid that info is to the world at large

CBT: Round 1

Apprehension, fear, paranoia, intolerance
Brattyness, stubbornness, unhelpfulness
Worse cocktails have been mixed on Clacton’s shores
I know it must taste like champagne in comparison
But you can’t just ignore those scrunched up mugs
“Oh god” They go “THAT’S why your here?”
Even the convicts scoff at that
“I’ve done a murder, but holy geez I weren’t a prick about it”

…Maaaybe they didn’t actually say that
I am filling the blanks of prolonged silence
But it’s grim to see your deplorable self
As the version you get up an pronounce publicly
On file, like the main cut from a DVD
Not a B-side, but as the lead single
Don’t like it? Great, join the club
I’m not here cos I’m fond of it myself y’know?

Abandonment issues are ugly
The rapid from self-pity to vanity is ugly
Every ounce of guys is ugly
It’s all fucking ugly really ain’t it?
So lets just get on with it
Hang out the dirty washing
And set the whole thing on fire
Before putting the ashes in your morning brew

“Lol wuteva, that ain’t me mate”

Lnc0

The Spark -The First Movement-

The 9-5 method of preservation
Just to fund the monthly sink to hasten the decay
As he whispers cynical realities into your ears
Clip the wings, petrify the soul
So escape seems impossible
So settling seems inevitable
Cos if you could fly away
Then we all could escape the loop
And the notion of effort couldn’t repulse him more
So he jots down a script, time to dose the fire

But channel out the equalisers
Your destiny was always to become The Spark
Soar into the second reality
Become the lighting rod to power us all
To make our plasma supercharged
Break free of the confines
Taste our dreams resting upon our tongues
We’ve put more stock into you then is healthy

But The Spark’s duty comes at a cost
Especially in front of the malicious kind
Who need to be the top of their podiums
They’re content with moulding into the tarmac
They can’t have you excelling at all
Not at the risk of smelting their gold into bronze

So they’ll tell you anything they can
Show you a descending ladder into crystals
And then they’ll ‘Welcome you to reality’
Then if you start to ascend that ladder
You become ‘The Idiot’ you become ‘The Retard’
Turn the world into the hopeless one

If only you could see the grace in you, that we do
That you’re potential incarnate
The working class heroine the snake pit deserves
You gotta show us a world where it’s possible
To escape the blindfold of the abuse cycle
Deleting the failsafe installed at birth
That we have to take the very little we can get
That safety comes at cost of your entire life
None of us want to believe any of that’s true
I know for a fact you don’t wanna think that’s true

So come on XXXXXX you can’t fall here now
Your lowly doppelgängers just want to believe
Because if it’s all hopeless and you fall here now
Then I’ll pull the fucking trigger

Lnc0

I swear I still write poetry guys, I’d of posted some today but I can’t stop listening to the new Coathangers album, it’s been on repeat all day and like…. fuck man I can’t function dancing in my flat all day like this, send help

You’re Speaking Too Honestly

You can see the gaps in my bones
The moss over my eyes, the salamander’s tongue
But it’s never enough for you people
You need to hear the bone snap in two
See the plasma try and escape the vein
And even then you take it to a debate
“Anyone could’ve installed that mindset
Treated your body like a flesh eating virus
For such a prolonged period, that you believe it too”
It could’ve been anyone, but no one’s as cruel as you people

Every cough is an attack
Every wince is an implication
“If you truly pine for our love; expire quietly
People may be looking, and I don’t feel responsible today”
When can a gash be an accident?
When is anything aloud to just be bad luck?
Or to even imply malicious intent?
Maybe every dinner wasn’t a golden lobster?

How far do I have to go to get some cunting sympathy?
Tear my ribs open from the outside
Show you every inch of my cellular structure
Just to prove it’s not a flesh eating virus destroying me?
Content with cheering and throwing fish into the tank
When the cat-tails exclusively indulged in Flagellant acts
But after the lens have been applied, and I suggest culprits
“Well now your taking this moaning thing too far”

Thanks for the affirmation
That blood only acts as a deterrent
The gag, the constrictor, the reveal
To keep me still, make me quiet
Tear the arteries open
Then get that cancer out of me

“I would feel empathy as all humans do
But here you see is my dilemma
To gain humanity now could shed a bad light
On the absent mind of my previous interactions
So sadly I’m gonna have to abstain from shedding a tear
And I hope you don’t mind me avoiding your trainwreck carcass”

Lnc0