I still think I’m going to get married to you one day
As all the onlookers gaze with smug interpretations on their face
As if they could see everything 5 moves ahead
Maybe I can give them a little ask from years from the past

Cos I just wanna tell you, how much flows on the inside
Everytime life deals yourself on my plate
No matter how much fortification we erect around ourselves
We can’t ignore the life force we surge into ourselves
I’d give up any future that was guaranteed for me
To shatter the glass barricades for only a day
That glass I know has to be shattered one day, a mere delay
So I can one day tell you their’s no amount of time I can wait
Your still the only one who can breath  the life veins into me
Reverse this petrified heart of mine and see

I’m in and out with the world’s pallet
And lord knows I tried, I tried so hard
To get them to understand my heart
Get them to flow into me
But try as I might there’s nothing I can do
I just can’t love anyone as much as I loved you
I can be good, I can be everything
I can be anything, I can be nothing
I can be all you want, I can be your blood,
I can be your soul and beat through and through
Cos I don’t love anyone at all
At least nowhere as much as I love you

But I know I won’t get married to you one day
There’ll be no satisfied theorist to give us away
I know I’ll be no good, I know I’ve never been good
Cos it’s gotta be him, never me and you

Lnc0

From the ‘The 4 Nights Of Hell’ series

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Little extra backstroy on this one, this poem was less written more ‘found’ on my hardrive, I must’ve written this while drunk at the end of a night out, at the start of the 4 nights these next few poems will be based around, thought I did punctuation and spelling corrections, I didn’t change anything, this is just what I wrote and it’s so sad to know there’s a part of me that’s hurting this bad