Tag: unhealthy

Fragile

There’s only so many times you can ignore
The little warning signs pulsating under your skin
The skipped beats, the little tremors and aches
That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna give it a try though
Hands over the ears, and the neurons
Running on performance specs from decades gone
Nothings gonna stop me from having fun
The spirit is willing, The soul is willing
But I’m willing to bet
It’s all due to collapse any second

Another round down during the next gig night
I’ll whisper in your ear all the things I’m gonna do
The velocity of youth still regulates in us all
But on my way out an objection creeps in
The shades turn Rouge, Ruby and Cinnabar
My legs unfold and constrict
I reset my stature with every twitch
“NOT THIS AGAIN, NOT NOW!”

I can’t even keep up with my own fabrication
The after image has overtook on the inside
Despite how I smirk or pose it can’t be denied
My bodies giving way to my limits
The man can never shape up with the myth
Another flutter in my chest as I protrude the mucus
How ever I came into the scene
I’m leaving as a mockery of the human form

“NO!” I fucking screech out
As I claw my way up the pavement
Blood trickling down my grip
As I tremble I grasp out into the air
To grab expression to fuel me
To grab a friend to help me
To grab a lass to love me
Anything to claw my way back to the living

My breathings heavier, my feet are collapsing
My ribs protrude further into my chest
Stab deeper into my lungs, hampering arteries
I’m coughing up something new everyday
The shell has failed me again
The bloody things one job it had
To spike the interest of the onlookers
Now they’ve gathered to see a corpse crumble
“Don’t just fucking gawk love
Slap the mirrors from your eyes
And help me up yeah?
My insides are begging to emigrate”

And I merge with the scene
Smelling of lynx and asphyxiation
The rise and fall of respiration
Transpire again and again
It may be too late for me
I may of wasted my time in self bondage
My primes passed me by
And I’m struggling to stay awake
Let alone be anyone’s best use of time
Let alone stave of a worthless title

Lnc0

He’s Not Always Like This

You’re not the only thing in your orbit anymore
But you’d never catch that with a still life of us
Sullen eyebrows and penny drop silences
Hypnotised spouses and distress signals
I try to break through the atmosphere with choking
Inquires and concerns squeeze through a closed windpipe
But I get the feedback of a crackle in a crash site
We’re joint at the hip, but I’m so alone

I make the same impact entering your vicinity
That a knock knock joke makes at a funeral
The disinterest is making me dip dye into madness
Nothing baits it more then your own thoughts echoing off the wall
I need to start taking chemistry on the side
Cos I don’t know which formula hidden in the air
Turns my cries for help into a defensive reaction from you
Each outstretched arm like a knife in your hide
Each yearn for affection; a threat to your precarious ego
Not when your bacon is smeared on these support beams
The change of oil, scented candles, a premium dota account
Like fuck should I dare take that way from you
So I guess I’ll sit back and take in the atmosphere
We locked ourselves in here, but I’m still so alone

I just really like you
About as much as you’ve become sick of me
I keep liking you more and more
Maybe at the same rate of you become weary of me
We’re on route to be betrothed, but I’m so alone

I miss giving rasberries on your neck
I miss tickling the inside of your palms
I miss neglecting the stars for a full view of you
I really like you, but I’m so alone

Now I have no idea where I am
Leaving a leeches impression on his neck
Leaving a tally with my nails on the toilet cubical
I feel weird
My skin feels like it’s peeling off my arms
As he runs his fingers down my silhouette
My spit feels foreign, My tears feel like waste
And as I whisper worship to him, he breathes life into me
I don’t know him and he can do it, anyone can
Anyone who isn’t you can breathe life into me
I don’t like him, but now I feel I’m in reality again
I feel so weird

I can’t stand missing you, when I see you everyday
I reek of substance and perspiration
But it’s still not enough to raise an octave out of you
A nod, a twitch if I’m lucky, and then back to null
I feel super weird, I feel like I wanna die
I take his 50 and your old parka
I take anything I call my own into a bag
I dodge tear stains and haste together a cliff note
“Fuck you
Anyone could do it and you choose not too
Just fuck you!”
I jump into his car and make a dive out of your field
You’re the only thing in your orbit now
But did you even notice anything different
Can anyone else do it too?
Now I’m across the toll booth
I feel so fucking weird
Now I’m really alone
And now I don’t know what I feel…

October Poetry Month 1/31