It Never Ends

The biggest mistake we make as a species
Is that we think that it could ever end
No path to enlightenment ever concludes
No evil targeting your lively hood ever relents
Is the thought that drives people to the grave
That no Miami tinted destination will greet you
The reward comes with doing the act itself
No drug on the earth with emancipate you
The struggle never ends
The nightmare never ends
Self-betterment never ends
Progress never halts
Growth is never stunted
The light is never in reach
The goal is always out of reach
The reach is inconceivable

Cos where does that leave us?
Sitting with our mouths a gape
Waiting for the drip feed to release us
Never opening our eyes to how it enslaves us
The beginning never ends
The learning never ends
The pain won’t let up
The cure isn’t gonna come
Demands won’t stop coming in
The possibilities won’t expand
Yet the solution never changes
The climax is never unattractive
A finale won’t ever spoil
As your motivation, or as your reason
But the 3rd act doesn’t exist
The 74th act is never the last
The book isn’t gonna close
Cos the end has no end

Sebastian Noël

CBT Round 2

I dunno, I guess, Maayyybe?
Sorry ma’am, I don’t mean to dodge the question
Should I be honest though?
The more I open, the more turn their backs
I’ve lost troops so vital to a platoon that way
The kind you’d write songs about if they turn slightly right
I mean they’re just words right?
Words are the culprit of the most vicious crimes however

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
How much more skin have I gotta peel away?

But it’d be a waste of a weekly tenner sink
To ignore your advice, I know ma’am
But I take no pleasure biting into Adam’s apple
And to learn shame for my origins
It turns a straight forward bereavement
Into an inferno of malice
And honestly I keep drawing blanks
On what to resent the most of all

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
Haven’t you got more pressing patients to see?

It’d be a one way to the easy life
To keep my mouth shut and blame it on luck
But I know if I keep that up
The knife can only turn on it’s owner
And I know for how much they shake their heads
They know their idol would despair
If my future’s destined to be projected
On a door frame on a particularly cold Wednesday noon

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
What’s so bad on taking it all out on yourself?

It made me sick to even utter the hearsay
The first time for anything’s the hardest they say
Cos god knows I love and miss my mama
It’s never fun to trace the bullets trajectory
Straight to her SMG sniper rifle
Especially after an elaborate cover up operation
But what else I am paying a tenner a week for?
And I’m not uncovering anything not already present

I got so much to say
I know exactly who’s listening
And if I lose everyone, so what?
I deserve genuine affiliation, not an obligation

Lnc0

CBT: Round 1

Apprehension, fear, paranoia, intolerance
Brattyness, stubbornness, unhelpfulness
Worse cocktails have been mixed on Clacton’s shores
I know it must taste like champagne in comparison
But you can’t just ignore those scrunched up mugs
“Oh god” They go “THAT’S why your here?”
Even the convicts scoff at that
“I’ve done a murder, but holy geez I weren’t a prick about it”

…Maaaybe they didn’t actually say that
I am filling the blanks of prolonged silence
But it’s grim to see your deplorable self
As the version you get up an pronounce publicly
On file, like the main cut from a DVD
Not a B-side, but as the lead single
Don’t like it? Great, join the club
I’m not here cos I’m fond of it myself y’know?

Abandonment issues are ugly
The rapid from self-pity to vanity is ugly
Every ounce of guys is ugly
It’s all fucking ugly really ain’t it?
So lets just get on with it
Hang out the dirty washing
And set the whole thing on fire
Before putting the ashes in your morning brew

“Lol wuteva, that ain’t me mate”

Lnc0