You Cannot Claim Isolation, Then Swipe Away The Hand That Heals

Hey Seb, Please Seb, Why Seb,
Please talk to me Seb, Hey Seb
Why Seb, How Seb, Please Seb
Can’t you see me? Can’t you hear me?
Please Seb, Hey Seb, Answer us Seb
Can’t you feel me? Can’t you touch me?
Let me know I’m still real, Please I gotta know
That you can see me, that I can still be?
Open the door Seb, Please Seb
Or did you give up? And only a spectre remains?
Why Seb, Answer the phone Seb, Please
Why did you decide to see through me
Is that why I can’t prophesize you
Stay alive, Please, Why Seb
Don’t you see me? Don’t you need me?
You could’ve called me anytime
Why wait till your writhing
You can end the suffering anytime
You know you could
Why keep going Seb? Please stop it
Touch me Seb, Why, Love me, Please
Don’t you believe me? Please
Why continue not to see me?
Why can’t you embrace me?
What keeps you in the torture chamber?
Come on Seb, Please, Why can’t you? Please
Illuminate my collided crystallines
Permeate my gilded leather
Contextualize my deserted skin
Oh god why? Anything Please, I can’t watch
Penalise my eyes, bypass corroded ties
Why do you want me to watch you die?
Anything to brutalise
The one man you want to pulverise
Stop it Seb, We care about you Seb, Stop, Please
Why you wanna hurt so bad?
How can you hate anything that bad?
Why Seb, Please Seb, No Seb, Stop Seb

Sebastian Noël

The XXXXXXXXX series

Here’s a compilation of them poems I christen the ‘XXXXXXXXX’ series in what is in many ways a chronological order of events, some of these take years before I finish them so if you want to see my heart be destroyed in a canonical timeline, now you can!

1) XXXXXXXXX
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147258028267/xxxxxxxxx

——————————————————————————–

2) Byakko
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/143784812282/byakko

3) Another Draft Of History
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/146711143547/another-draft-of-history

4) Feeder
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/145360464887/feeder

5) Detachment Blues
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/143989454096/detachment-blues

6) Being Honest
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147257267742/being-honest

7) Aftermath
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147258954067/aftermath

Sebastian Noël

Your Armageddon, My Distraction

The simple stroll has gained significant difficulty
No matter the surface I traverse I track dirt
5cm thick of mud and grass
As I pass hour 2 walking on concrete
6cm … 7cm … 8cm
I’m shocked they let me into the cafe

I can’t make it out with my eyes
But I feel the eyeball coming out of my palm
And the tentacles coming out of my pours
What to believe in the end?
The sight or the follicles
Each one making an argument for being ground in reality

Maybe there’s only one way to find out
Give into the quirks my twitches alluded too
And act on that split second desire
To tear myself apart just to see how that goes
Grab the Gillette and disconnect the webs of my fingers
Pull the eyelids from my brow
Peel back the banana skin like Krokodil
And see if any of it is really there

Feels so real to the touch
Even that which can’t be seen
But again who am I to believe?
I’ve not had a witness corroborate it in days
Even so they might feel it too
To terrified to admit it to the world
Are we all deluded by the creature underneath?
Like Lovecraft, would it drive us mad to really know?

This coffin is suffocating, I’d love to rip it all off
But the outsiders concern confirms what’s reality
Least in the ballot of the consensus
Even then is that to be trusted?
Cos the soil is still sticking to my feet
Yet the floor remains spotless

Lnc0

Winter Gibberish

Skiing through the mog, that January generously brings
The cling of smoke, running it’s claws through my hair
I feel all ready dead, but in the best possible way
As the outline of your silhouette skirts in and out existence
My elation hasn’t gone un-noticed by the populous
As they chime in hope to become conductors
Like a circuit that spans the city; the elation can power us all
And we can sore outside the colours and pages
Tear our fingers into the camera lens
And escape the logistics that would guide our hearts along

Lnc0

THE Look (W.I.P)

It’s always at the festive time of year
Do the jokers just wait till now to be dealt out?
Just a jack of Christmas shopping in my hand
The he goes ahead and gives me THAT!?

A flashback or two brushing me by
Weather from two years, two months
Or hell even two seconds ago
Despite existing on different times and context
There’s one thing that binds them all
And it’s they all feel the need to whip out that look
Not even by choice, as if something compels them
As they skirt on by in and out my life

Weather I loved them
Weather I used them
Weather I adored them
Weather I loathe them
Weather I’d beg them back
Weather I’d take a plane to get away
No matter what
That look prevails

But what It means I’ll never know
Does it mean you wanna stop me
And ask me if it’s going okay?
Or is it the fear I’d do the same
Is it roar to keep my distance
Or a way to beckon me near
Did you recognize me from the get go?
Or did it take you a second or two?

It always feels like it’s more then the face
What’s brought you all back again?
Have I got a lesson to learn
Or are you vindication I’ve already learnt it?

Lnc0

Let’s Make This Annual

thetartanprelude:

As if on cue, the second the sun hits the earth
The barricades collapses and the messages begin
I think it’s time to dip into the life savings
And think about showing my face around your town again

As much as I’ve dearly missed, hearing the little cracks in your voice
There was no way to open communication, at any other time of the year
Education you see, she is a cruel mistress
She yanked the chain around your neck, whenever you came near
With such little time you’d never slink under your fella’s radar

But all that fades from the grey matter
The second I step off that train
With that grin of yours greeting me
Then it becomes clear
That summer has only just started

You start to lose track of the days, after the third night of haze
Waking up on the floor, With your head resting on someone’s door
But the back pains are worth it in the end
When you open your eyes with your head nested in my chest

I would’ve emptied my bank account and paid, just to live in this moment till my grave
With fingers travelling through your hair, I kiss your head as we move to the chairs
I know I couldn’t be the only one during them late Friday nights
Perched on the edge of my bed watching the calendar for this day

How can this feeling ever be considered wrong?
Spread on fields of green in each other’s arms
Come here, I’ll make you forget all about him
If you just take me back four years

My summer can’t begin until I’ve seen you
My year can’t move on until I’ve held you
My winter gets colder when you’re not in it
My life’s a little more dull when you’re not a part of it

I went to try and re-write this one today and thought “Fuck it, kinda nailed it first time” :L

– Lnc0

Let’s Make This Annual

There’s Majesty In The Art Of Doing Nothing

Gorging on the flavours of a grass reed
The tip of my hat blinding of the worlds evils
Like shirtless apes poking a ball around
While sniffing the skirts of innocent passers-by
And low end music students butcher Skinny Love
In the hopes of finding validation in their life choices
While the ladies parade the cobble catwalk
With shoestring outfits on a shoestring budget

I live for them milliseconds chances
Where the ends of our arm hairs collide
If just for a fraction, while we try and get comfortable
It’s the perfect catalyst for the event
Where the gravity between us grows more intense
A mysterious phenomenon that we can’t explain
I better hold onto your hand dear
Before you float away from us, into the stars unknown

Conversations flow like butter
Our limbs tangle like taffy
Subjects slide away like grease
Smiles behind fringes like sugar
Top it off with caricature descriptions
Slathered head to toe with syrup

Barraged by thoughts of tracing fridge magnet drawings on your side
Whilst you stand just outside of my bedroom window
Your silhouette contrasting with the collapse of the day time
Like a monument erected behind a cathedral stain window
Trying to keep away from miles away, my current Everest
There’s nothing I can do, I have to abandon my cool, and gush to you

With my limbs and tongue infused with velocity
I offer refuge from the English weathers tantrum
We could widdle away the hours trying to find the moles on our arms
Playing thumb wars, I spy and analyse the dye in our eyes
Because if you ask me there’s an art in wasting time
With the most immaculate company a boy could hope to find

~Dedicated To Esme~

Overwrite

What a terrifying age we must live in
If your confessions of violations
Doesn’t cause the brow to lift anymore
But instead causes a pre-planned sonnet
Pulled from a recollection of a past romance
I guess it’s just that common these days

You park yourself on the side of my bed
While you indulge in a silent war inside your head
No matter how much you try to reason
Your mind can’t stop reenacting those memories
The choker on your throat, And the claws on your thighs
And your need to recollect still shows
You react to collision with other skin cells
Like dynamite would react to a live wire
But it’s no use, you can’t control your body
Your heart screams out like a megaphone
Calling out for any emulation of affection
So you can go back to a simpler time
Where the act of simple carnal desires
Didn’t open the flood gates to a wave of guilt
To wipe the white board clean
To overwrite the association that you carry

You drag me over you like a bedsheet
Your eyes pleading me to set you free
I lay a trail of breadcrumbs from your neck
With my kisses all down the side of your frame
I feel you start to shiver as I approach your navel
You look down me from behind a lens of apprehension
I abandon my quest and approach you from surface level
I cradled your cranium in the palms of my hands
Planted another kiss on the fringe of your head
And remind you I’ve become subservient to your passion
I’ve renounced my will I’m all yours to command
As you take me back in your arms

It drives me to the point of despair
That the world could treat you like this, so early
I know it sounds like a mammoth of a task right now
But there’s no need for you to fear people
For every dragon that parades the plains
Lays a saint ready to avert your gaze

I want to cradle you tight up to my chest
To deflect all the tragedies of the planet
All your dread, contempt and bile
I’ll take it all in a stride like it was just a favour
I want to explore every single cell that gives you life
And make a mark of my devotion
On every single one
Even if after the events of tonight
You choose to cast me aside
To spring board for the gold medal
The one your golden heart really deserves
I’ll still spend every kilojoule in my blood
To wipe the slate clean
To replace feelings of terror, with hunger
To anticipate his touch on your back
To bring life to your cheeks
To make you feel like those villains
Where just a stone in your shoe

If Only I Could Overcome The Social Stigma and Ask If You’re Okay

What a sight for sore eyes, right smack in the middle of a birthday due
It’s been an Autumn and a Winter, since I caught wind of your silhouette last
A lanky young marsupial perched over in the corner of the bar
Leaking from the ears in dark ale from the latest special offer
Entertaining two mysterious characterise you might of called darling
Desperately scrambling in your pockets for the antidote
That might keep this conversation from dying
With very minimal success

The blood in your veins runs thinner, to make room for the booze
You could tell by the 3rd glass of JD that slipped through your fingers
And found it’s way in segments onto the dancefloor
You dodge the bouncers gaze like it was choreographed
Demand in slurred tongue they play Last Nite again
You shoot a look my way every now and then
I can see you visibly wince when you saw me in his arms
And soon after you disappeared out the door

Then it hit me like a ton of history revision books
Tomorrow was a dire date indeed to remember
It was when your beloved Empress departed from our planet
Suddenly all your movements became see through
Something, anything to wake up to on that horrible morning
To clutch you in their arms, to kiss you on the head
To tell you it’s all going to be allright
To offer you a tour of the arcades to take your mind of things

You were last seen slouched against the wall of V-Bar
Wiping your tears away with an empty bottle of Desperado
You moved your head like a periscope as if waiting for something
Checking your phone as every second passed as if your life depended on it
And with the way your cover up your arms
And the way you rubbed the inside of your legs
And how you massaged that scar on your throat
Who knows? Maybe it really did

Did I do this to you?
If I stuck around after you unlocked the cuffs
Could I stopped you getting this way?
I wonder as I find my way back to my home

The New Life (Epilogue)

I’m starting to grow hungry
After a barrage of sleepless nights revaluating again and again
Each and every way I could’ve lived a previous life better

Oh but what use is that now?
I’ve already collected sacks of golden nuggets
Picked fresh from greenest of grasses from the otherest of sides

I’m not afraid no more
Of the long walks home after a failed start an unheard cry
It’s just a hour in a night in pursuit of lifetime indulgences

Different sparks to feel
Going up your spine when she grabs your arms under the streetlights
A detonates a new embrace to clear the air of clouded minds

Oh it’s no concern of mine
I’m ready to take your hand and jump the fence to the other side
Ready to embrace the new life

A Continuation of “The New Life”
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/82312249965/the-new-life

*Written For National Poetry Month – 30/30*