V-Bar Alleyway Blues

Pick myself up, chin up, stiff upper lift
Why though?
I saw her lock hands with pork scratching of the week
Another subtle deterrent
From an uncaring collective
She smiles, she ways, she’s out of reach
The story of another weekend out
A turned head, bereavement nostalgia
My arse is kissing concrete again
Patience, patience, patience
I’m sick of waiting on a lost package
If existence can’t convince me good is coming
Then what is my North Star supposed to be?
To find the things we credit as the motive
For the respiratory process

I’m not quite so motivated right now
I’m choking on nostalgia, fat on memories
Someone pacify me
Give me something new to write about

What do I have to do for you to accept me Essex?

Sebastian Noël

Successors Gratitude

Resigned to a life of the fight
Every second designed to a diplomatic way or declaration
His skirt is the capote, to the masses bull hardy hearts
Every step is a step ready to die
To splay on the grown sucking your own blood for the cause
To only be as brave as you
To keep the fight outside the confines of your room
The activists, the hashtagers
Those who say your life matters
They’ll turn their backs to you
Unless you wind up dead
Compressed into a headline, ready to tweet

But I won’t forget you
Maybe you dunno the fallout, nor it’s effects
As you tell another paragon of heaven’s kingdom
To politely go fuck themselves
But when I show my face to the public
Toting my leggings, the choker and oversized jumper
I hope you’ll know

And though your masculine identity is set in stone
When I see those less attached
Start to fill my streets
I hope you’ll know

When despite the fear of an abrupt end
Looms over those same young ladies heads
Shaking as they order another pale ale
I hope you’ll know

They may not speak
They may be too awkward to credit you
But beyond the middle class plastic activists
Is us
And we know

Sebastian Noël

To Treat You As Less

My porcelain pride and the carnage laid to my hide
You say you admire the state of my life
The state despite the damage
And the method of my ambition
With no commentary on the worth of my devotion
I’ll take the flattery, but I’m losing my life signs
Just to know the price of your devotion
Can you see past an oddity
Can you sniff out my humanity?
Or is mine a view of a quirk?

I can’t turn blind eye to god’s immaculate placement
Of your freckles, the complimentary contrast
Of those crystalline eyes to the decaying nature
Of slouching bags that take refuge beneath them
But I know you want me to pluck my eyes from my skull
So I always do

Perfection an aggravating thing to put aside
I can’t lie
Even as I try to avert my gaze to the sky
My hearts goes awry
My concentration returns to my eyes
Onto to your eyes
No fucking surprise

But of course I’ll comply
There’s nothing more useless then a mutt who disobeys
So I’ll sleep within the wash of your light
Such elation is the only thing keeping me alive

Sebastian Noël

D8

A quick cut to the prints of your cortex
Under the guise of a time waster under the pines
Half synced as you request a history lesson
Eyes on me, mind elsewhere, as you recall the rules
But your first move, betrays your aloof persona
As the pawns moves aside, to give his holiness access

As I prepare the peons to form a impenetrable wall
There are two ways in which you wouldn’t accept that
“Why take up the mantle of an educator
You; who has all the markings of a creator?”
As you prep your knight in a beacons rate
That’s two ways the walls come crumbling down

5 pawns, a knight and a bishop make up my casualties
We don’t break eye contact for the entire match
As you ring your finger around the rim of my Corona
That’s two ways you firmly plant yourself in my territory
As your priest breaks the perimeter
That grin never leaves your face all the while

You always wanted to be an actress
Ever since your first pantomime as a nipper
Your iris widened and your belly started to growl
Life’s to be chewed up and spat out in your image
Pawn takes bishop, king and rook castle
You ain’t gonna rest till your name’s covering that venue

You know your being drip fed
Knight takes pawn, queen takes pawn
The legions in full force, nary a document leaks
Like on the board; I defend until I’m dragged out
Bishop takes queen, you take what you get
Cos scraps you got warm your heart

You like the unfolding puzzle type
It suits your playstyle; aggressive, get ‘em where you want
Nothing makes me more at ease
Then regaining consciousness, tucked in your bed
Rook takes bishop, check
Now you got me, I don’t wanna break free

Rook takes knight, the final blow’s in sight
Until my comrade surrounds and halts the fight
We’ll never know who would’ve taken the game
But I know you got a mind of steel
With a third eye that sees 5 moves ahead
You had me right where you wanted me: In sight
But you’d hear no objections from me receiving the sweep
I’m your prisoner of war, you play me how you like

Sebastian Noël

Legion

An ancient infantry tactic, resurrected and rebranded for 2016
I think they call it “The Esteem Team” these days
All to get out of meeting your lost love’s gaze
Cos who knows what it’d stir if we got empathy involved

Surrounded by the lighthouse beacons
Why you gotta show me your back again?
With your eyes fixated on nothing
Acting like your above the entire planet?
But your scouts gave up the ghost
Giving me the up and down, filing the scriptures
Like a flock of bees relaying to their queen
You can see everything without looking at me once

But that begs the question, why the cabaret?
What is it your hoping to keep out of view?
Don’t you like the implication that naturally follows
With looking a fellow homosapien in the eye?
It’s the only indicator that you still kept a part of your humanity
But what then? When the weasels whisper back to your ears?
I’m not gonna stay invisible for your convenience
I won’t flash puppy dog eyes to fuel your narrative

Cos I know it’s not what you wanna hear
But I’m doin’ just fine, even if unlike you
I may be lacking the trench coat romance
But maybe I’m better then ever
Free to say what I do and don’t like
Without a vice grip choking my personality out

And does it creep you out
To see all the boys and girls in the bar
Handing out stares like they’re charity?
Creating more and more evidence as they go
That life continues outside your storybook
And that we’re not waiting on the bench
Counting down the seconds to be written back in
Cos the sequel might just outsell the original

So while the platoon’s still in the legion formation
You best retreat to the corner of the place
Cos what you saw as power, was sweet life blooming
And that’s something that is no ones to take
You see these vanilla cream enlistees?
The one’s you spoke of like a raisin in a Victoria Sponge
They offer me the Parma Violet quips
All while intending to leave me intact
Somehow, I think I’ll survive you

Sebastian Noël

Jan

Jan, hey Jan, help Jan
Broken jam jar’s are Jan’s jam
My pay slip smells like mouldy coffee Jan
Get Jan on that!
Jan’s on checkouts
Jan’s also on help desk
Jan’s in every strand of my DNA
I need a Jan to help with my son’s grazed knee!
Quick where’s Jan with her awkward racist Christmas joke!
Classic Jan that, CLASSIC
Isn’t that the JANIEST Jan you Jan’d
That’s dead Jan that
Buying the coffee mug that says ‘Cock’
BEEEP BOOOOP Jan alert
And alert designed to go off when Jan does a Jan
Can’t get enough of Jan, oh Jan’s dead good
I dislocated my jaw to fit more Jan in my life

My newborn has the sacred birthmark
Of a youth destined to be the manager of a Canvey superstore
The doctor leans in and whispers
“That’s Jan as FUCK”
Jan’s in Jan school to be as Jan and can be
Planning out her one story:
>Jan falling in the pond
>Jan called Mike, Mark in 1998
>Jan ate 5 crackers at break, FUCKING MENTAL
And when Jan Version 1.250 goes for cracker number 6
The SWAT team come in and blows her brains out
Cos that’s bridging into Jade territory that
No Jan can cotain such ‘What a laugh’-ness
Not for you Jan no no!
Now tell us how your 2 quid fell in the loo?
Or how your dog Janice barks sounds like ‘Fuck off’
Oh Janny Jan Jan Jan Jannarooo Jan Jan
Jantiy Jan Janiccsseeyy Jan Jan Jan Jan Jan FUCK

Sebasitan Noël

9 Till Die

The kind that still says chavs wear slapbacks
The kind that says people don’t fuck with the lights on
Well do they?
Not much of a view from Debenhams help line
A broken swivel chair in a cream cubicle
Just the one window on to Head Street
Where all the people look like ants
Devoid of connectivity
Again as far as she could know
No look in for the mortal coil

A futile attempt to keep poll position
From a world dammed to open it’s chest
Those cards don’t stay hidden for long
Nothing to show, something to hide
So she starts to feel a lag coming on
In expression and comprehension
Why can’t they communicate like before
A note’s off, a puzzle piece is missing

And I tell you darhl, you won’t find it soon
Not at the bingo, karaoke or disco night
Not when your accelerating towards age
And a blinding speed

Sebastian Noël

Optimistic Clairvoyance

Sugar cube crystals pouring from the kitchen side
Infusing my blood stream as it lands in my veins
It brings a technicolour focus to your moves
The way your shakes bend the support beams
Shift and shapes the claustrophobic closets
To a blooming lotus flower over shadowing a dead town
That way you sway it’s a catastrophe
Sounding off your unique brand of light beam

Girl I’m a prisoner, I always was
So before I suffocate completely
Tear the foundations apart and set me free
Self-destruct our fractured lifestyles like visionaries
No kindness, No bullshit, Let the heart unabashedly beat
Grab my hair, trap me in between those thighs
Embrace every cubic-second of me
Only we can understand and produce the perfect synergy

What do I have to do
What bones of mine do I have to break to show you
It’s do or die here tonight
And I’ll die again and again
Take any form it’ll take
To grab your eyes into that reality
Cos if it’s not you it’s constant misery
And I’ll ripen from the world tree till I get it right

Sebastian Noël

Aftermath – B-Side

Tell me has there ever been a time you’ve met me
That wasn’t a result of trading stern words with him?
If not it were a long while hence
Back to a time where our worries reached an apex
When wondering if we could make it under the sheets before dark
A far cry from the padlocks of stresses that keep us bound
You find yourself in an Alcatraz on earth
Where even your tongue is cuffed to the ceiling

So when you tell me your desperately searching for me in him
Honey, how else am I supposed to take that?
Other then a silenced vow of devotion?
Morse code hidden in the small talk
If I could upset the delicate balance we got going here
I’d reciprocate entirely
Take you in my arms, present you with my beating chest
Then I’d ask “Why search for me, when I’m right here?”

Cos I’ve always been your voluntary slave
And everyone, our friends, our sisters, they all know it
But not to speak out of line or anything
I just wish for once; you were free to speak honestly
Command me to connect with your lips
Then I’ll decommission the ground beneath you
We’ll fall into an uncertain abyss for sure
But we’d be falling arm in arm

Cos truth be told I’ve been looking for you too
In the hearts and minds of an uncaring and cold public
I’ve come damn close to finding you again sure
But no close call matches up to the original
They all took a step away cos they all knew
My heart was just on loan to them
Still waiting for it’s original owner to come back
To take it back into their possession

So won’t you take a Molotov to your domestic bliss
Then take back what’s rightfully yours?
Cos if I was tailored for loving you
Then I’m just a boy scout stuck in the Amazon without you
It takes so little to inflame the fuse
But the wires around your throat hold you back
I hate to end the romcom before the liar revealed
But… There is truly nothing I can do

The sunset’s serene that’s guaranteed
And everyone’s waiting for it
But if Juliet misses the casting call
Then again… What exactly is it we can do?

What am I supposed to do
When there’s nothing anyone can do
When I’m only alive to love you
But there’s shit all anyone can do

What to do?
No one can control a heart or a mind
What’s a boy to do?

Sebastian Noël

Loop

The cosmos is merciless
The kingpin of duress
The quill on the script
The drug that causes the trip
There are no exceptions, you’re expected to dance on beat

Another coffee husked afternoon to add to the pile
Wasting time re-writing the same lines everyday
He wants to push past, write something that’ll last
But when mind and the sword don’t align
The loop starts its never relenting swipes
Stuck like VHS, feels like an unwelcome caress

Starts to write about the birds chirping in the trees
Another line about her expensive smile proceeds
Wants to write to make the world better
But look, yet another line about her crystal eyes
About the majesty of her thighs
Her cutting sense of humor
Her child heart
Cool clothes
Unending tallent
Think im being unfair? Well remember who’s holding the pen

The cosmos is merciless
The reason you regress
The strings in a marionette
The assassin of your alphabet
You have no choice in the things you scribe

A classic sonnet, a Blake competitor
Both out of your reach if you bite your tounge
Your hearts aflame; supernova, cos this story isn’t over
She’s got tabs on you, they have tabs on you
The entire populous with eyes have tabs on you
Your life’s consumed, unless romance blooms

Art can only dely so much
Life’s creeping on you
Put the pen down son
Doomsdays comming your way

Sebastian Noël