Acting Submissive With The Clubbers Of Colchester

You don’t have to yell at me so loud
I’m trying my hardest to have a good time and crack a smile
But in the midst of this murder of scavengers
The type that pick apart the scraps of poor lost lambs
Who have lost the sparkle in their eyes
I see you spread out in the back of the bar like a corpse
I wish I could obey the green lights at the racetrack
But I can’t find the heart to reach out and take it

Oh and you make your disappointment in my discomfort known
If I had a penny for every time I am under criticism
Cos’ I refused to fall in line for the male stereotype
I’d of brought the taxi home to save you the embarrassment

I wish I could tear your focus away from your phone screen
Trying to gather the scraps of a good night out
I just want to grab you by the wrist, and pull you up
Into the phantasm of the violet lights
And dance the dread away, loosen up them thighs
Run your hair inbewteen my fingers
And plant the sweetest embrace
But you’ve lost your willpower you just want to sink into the seats

Oh please let me go!
I can’t stand to see you like this anymore
You fidget and squirm like a child in a push-chair
We just aren’t comfortable together it would seem
I didn’t mean to be such a disappointment
I didn’t mean to make you so sad
I didn’t mean to fail you as a man
Maybe it’ll be better if I just went home

Created as a counter part to this poem
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/84961086712/acting-domineering-with-the-clubbers-of-colchester

Wings

Oh it’s oh so clear to me now
I may of spent a few hundred million years
Scratching the desk and knocking over my beer cans
To cold call a league of philosophers at my door
Man the tantrums seems so silly now
When I’m arm in arm with comrades of old
Gliding down the streets screeching our anthem to the sky
Oh yeah it’s so clear to me right now

They told me I couldn’t find anything better
And too take the lashing like a good little slave
They swore it never got any better then this
I was lucky to even grab where I was by the fingertips
They promised they were right
Far be it from me to question your motives for telling me that
Is this what you have to do to people to stay confident?
I’m confident that’s the case

You had to make me feel like dirt
In order to make yourself feel alive
All I had to do start living my life
In order to make you feel like dirt

All you ever wanted to do was clip my wings
Use me to shield you from the deathray
You fired straight at the mirror
Hey no biggie I’m just damaged goods right?
Well I didn’t hear the others complain
The only one who’s complaining is you
As you lay yourself in the same mousetrap
Scrape another lover to use from the highway

*Written For National Poetry Month – 14/30*

Thick (W.I.P)

After our friends fuck off for a fag break
We find ourselves standing side to side
With our backs to the receding wallpaper
Under the second hand Maplin spotlights
It highlights the dread in your golden eyes
No matter how many times you lick those lips
You can never reach out and claim what’s rightfully yours
You can never let a good thing just be a good thing

You stare down at your feet, looking quite forlorn
You lament how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that couldn’t solve 2 x 4
While stuck in the middle of a Casio showroom

I know you’d rather pass a kidney stone
Then to hear about how your the apple of my eye
But god every second I see you stuck in the dumps
It sucks away my spirit like strawberry milkshake

You stare down at your shoes, like I hit a trigger
You recall how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that receives the sniggers
While stuck in the queue at the cafeteria

Please listen to the gospel that I’m shouting
Stop using what the dregs used to say
As an excuse to not shoot for what your wanting
I’m on my knees, please baby just embrace me!
I want to tickle your toes in the bathtub
Feed you strawberries by the lakeside
Trace circles on your palm during the book club
Turn you into a god when the confidence has died
Feel you hold my arm when your overcome with fright
To see you stamp your feet when I don’t pick up the slack
Kiss you on the head and make-up after a fight
Gnaw on your neck while you leave slashes on my back
Please darling I’m fucking begging you now
Just listen to tremors coming from my chest
Put aside all them nasty scowls
And just fucking accept me for everything I am

Before I start to grow callous
And my heart turns into dust

* For National Poetry Month – 6/30 *

An Invalid Opinion

I dunno what lines the other boys fed to you
For you to look at yourself like that
Through the lens of fairground house of mirrors
With a snapshot of devastation on your face
Are you deluded? Or maybe just stupid?
Cos only the incompetent could ever react that way

Oh honey don’t you lower that head of yours
I’ll make you see what a work of art you are
Dry your eyes and show me that little smirk again
You say they never loved you when your down
When the planets just couldn’t align
Never let those nasty words taint the mirrors feedback

Even though we’ve already explored our forms head to toe
The thought of seeing you in the flesh
Gets me vibrating on the 66 bus seats
Like a jackhammer left in the cement mixer
You must be suffering from cataracts
Or maybe a blow to the head, to meet me under the sheets
But while I have you, I’ll do the only thing I know how
I’ll take you to levels the other couldn’t, I’ll break you in early

Oh honey don’t cover them eyes of yours
I’ll make you see what a work of art you are
Show me them zircons and shoot me little smirk again
You see they never loved me when I was down
When the moods just couldn’t sync
I’ll never let their nasty actions dull my excitement for you

*For National Poetry Month – 4/30*

The Perfect Concept Of A Date In Tatters

*An old one I wrote when I was 17 that I just came across*

Can you remember the times of yore
Walking down the empty dull lit steets
Locked together by a statment
Knowing were it was we were going
Their was no alternative to this lone routes
Nothing could in our wildest dreams could go wrong

But now the streets are clatered with people
The likes i’ve never witnessed before
Pouring in from taverns like the flood
Serving no purpose but to get in our way
But maybe i speak to soon on our behalf
As your lock on me is loosening ever so slowly

He wiskes you away in obscured visionary
All it ever takes is shelter and the deals done
You can’t take what you promised him now
But to take it from me is all to easy
Their is no lock, their is no streets, their are no people
Just walking aimlessly untill i find it agian

Poison

All I ever wanted to do was shower them with prizes
To latch onto as they travel through the darkest days
The kind they’d open up a jewelry box to their grand kids
And tell them exaggerated tales of the golden years
But as I watch them fall head first into the night, time and time again
As a common denominator you do have to wonder don’t you?

I’m the doubt in their voice
I’m the pause before the retreat
I’m poison
I’m the doubt in their abilities
I’m the sigh in the night
I’m poison

All I ever wanted was to see my girls sore into the night
With or without me by their side, eyes dilated with glee
Whatever the method may be, no matter the price
Because If I have to see another one fall from grace
I may just put the next bullet in my brain instead
I don’t want to do it to them anymore, not again

I’m the lack of scale in their thoughts
I’m the bar that’s been set low
I’m poison
I’m the cracks in the mirror
I’m the 2 for 1 concealer
I’m poison

Panic In The Evening

I feel like a hoodlum standing outside a memorial
With cans of neon lit paint in my backpack
Complimented by a small armies worth of explosives
Ready to set hell on a beloved artefact with my insignia
All to quell my impulsive decisions

Yeah, that’s how I feel right now
When your perched upon my mattress in the afternoon
With the slits in my curtains raining on your skin
Showing just how perfect your design really is
Each curve tailor made to my exact specifications
Each imperfection made to compliment your excellency
Laying my grubby fingers upon you now
Would be the worst fucking crime I could conceive
Like rubbing grease all over a Mozart sheet

I just wanna die
If it means I can cower out of this mess
Run for the hills before I poison you anymore
Your flying with angels on pale light nights
And I’m greasing the gears behind the scenes
Please just pull the trigger and leave for good

As I continue to deface your form even more
You permit my ascension to the sacred place
The fumes starts to slowly creep inside of me
I start to hear the taste of each bead of sweat
As it tunnels into the folds of my mind
I can’t feel the guilt I should be
I can’t feel anything anymore
You don’t deserve this, not even for a second
I can only provide a fraction of what you deserve
Olympians soaring from the coast docking on Clacton’s shores
Travelling from miles on end just to get a glimpse
Of that smile on your lips

The No Title

Why yes dear she does have great blonde hair
A perfectly paid for smile, With a figure 8 to boot
But if she ever recites just one more time
The plot of the Throne of Swords, Just once more
Then I might just have to tighten the knot
Cos I’d rather kick the chair then to go through that bore

I know if you could you’d pick up that stone
And bash yourself ugly in front of the mirror
Untill you became the monster you precive yourself to be
Oh darling can’t you see it’s all futile?
You can configure yourself all you like
But you’ll just be the same to me

You see I’m so tired of the man made order
I’m tired of these memes, mascarading as conversations
Recycling and circulating in my ears all day long
And I know your sick of it too

I can see the fire blazing in your lungs
When our intrest start to coencide
And everytime you bite your tounge
Thus the conversation starts to crumble
They might raise an eyebrow
I’ll raise you a thumb

It’s not that I don’t notice the pimples
It’s not that I don’t notice the dimples
It’s not that I don’t notice all your little scars
It’s that I can’t imagine you without them

It’s not that I don’t notice the gap in your teeth
It’s not that I don’t notice the crack in your lips
It’s not that I don’t notice the marks on your smile
It’s that I wouldn’t want you without them

It’s not that I don’t notice the breaks in your voice
It’s not that I don’t notice the the snorts in your laughter
It’s not that I don’t notice how deep your tone is
It’s just I couldn’t live without them

It’s not that I don’t notice the rings around your eyes
It’s not that I don’t notice the smoke on your breath
It’s not that I don’t notice the flicks in your hair
It’s just I’d rather die then be without them