Date In Castle Park

I arrive at the business transaction mostly on time
Arranged passively on a interchangeable messaging app
You make the radically mundane suggestion of a castle park romp
It’s too much to expect a curve ball at 23

The dice lands on a photography student
What else does steel caped boots and a Harrington produce?
Your hair’s a bath bomb shade of green and blonde
And your eyes reflect like monochrome
Undoubtedly captivating when equipped with a warm smile
We religiously obey the footpath
While I keep the hayfever at bay
“We’re victims of a London class based culling”
As she details how she came to be on this dirty great ‘ol hill
“I took this course because it’s my passion”
As op after op flew by, without a single shot being taken
Despite the 1,000 quid necklace you brought along
The sun transfixes her eyes, as she relays me with ambition
To make it back to London’s streets, or Brighton’s shores
Join the club hun, I’m sure we’ll all get there one day
You ponder about my candour
I’m not sure how to go about that
I’m a teacher in limbo
I’m a poet on standby
I’m the very definition of ‘pending’
I try to dress that up the best I can
But it’s clear I’m not getting anywhere
When that art’s not your art, when art’s not art
Then who cares?
“Can’t you play guitar” Bullet wound number 1

We take a very safe route round the park
To the benches, then to the hills
On our backs, then on our sides
Before you taste the toothpaste I used this morning
How many girls have I done this with?
How many boys have you done with too?
Did you wanna do that with me too?
Do I want you to? What do I want?
Do I want anything?
And if I do want, what’s that look like?
If I could peek into the future
Would it look anything like the past?
Would it look like me spewing white lies
Like I totally still listen to The Enemy!
Yeah…. Live and die and all that….

I take a fourth handful from the grass
As we start to veer around our guards
A troubled home, an absent dad
Apologetic prefacing from a Yelp ad
But then like the sound of a plane being shot down
She goes “Oh yeah my brother has autism too”
It’s time to dig that grave and cut your loses mate
Or maybe I’m waving the white flag to early
If Tumblr’s an indication, people are all about incest these days
But that’s an uphill climb regardless, and I’m out of heart
So to swerve by a handshake goodbye; I knock off early
Then take the scenic route home

Is this exposed heart bollocks for naught?
I like fun as much as the next guy
But the thought of letting someone in close proximity
Makes me a little sick to my stomach
But what kind of superhero am I expecting?
We’re all fucked in our own way
I just can’t stand the gamble anymore
Of ending up losing on beaming Saturday noons
Staring at the walls, flies populating my mouth
While I obsessively go over everything that went wrong
And rub ointment over my heart
All for the kind of empty people
That slap their cunts to Game Of Thrones
Who stroke their dicks to the Euro match
All without anything to say, nothing to show for it
Oh it’s not worth it anymore
If you told all your sweethearts to hit the road
And you hit 22 then your shit out of luck
Too aware to comply, too cynical to wonder
You’re the last kid picked for P.E

I don’t feel like dying again
I’m quite accustomed to feeling safe
So maybe I’ll abstain for another year
Not like anyone’s missing out

Sebastian Noël

Para-para

I could use baseless devotion right now
Now now then ever before
The maps looking coffee stained and creased
With any beauty thriving among the microscopic

The visuals that usually remain exclusive
To a panic attacked backed up by 5 shots of rum
Are starting to bleed into the everyday
As towering bricks and steel start to melt
And the colour pours in between my toes
While citizens turn into goblins and creeps
I dunno what they are, what they’re thinking
Did they rob my future from me as a joke too?

Oh snapshot’s where are you?
The one’s you go back through on nostalgia trips
Remembering even the scents and feelings
Of a lazy summer by the riverbank
It’s as sickeningly sweet as it sounds
The kind of days that make you second take
At the Petri dish we all call a country
The perfectness of it makes me start to gag
Cos my body rejects such a sugary memory
After a diet of cardboard and grit
And an ever fading vision
I dunno if I can go back to comfort

Waking up in our clothes at the house party
The shared whipped cream on the nose
The Clinton card gestures: Forever immortalised
These are the things to keep life okay

Sebastian Noël

It Never Ends

The biggest mistake we make as a species
Is that we think that it could ever end
No path to enlightenment ever concludes
No evil targeting your lively hood ever relents
Is the thought that drives people to the grave
That no Miami tinted destination will greet you
The reward comes with doing the act itself
No drug on the earth with emancipate you
The struggle never ends
The nightmare never ends
Self-betterment never ends
Progress never halts
Growth is never stunted
The light is never in reach
The goal is always out of reach
The reach is inconceivable

Cos where does that leave us?
Sitting with our mouths a gape
Waiting for the drip feed to release us
Never opening our eyes to how it enslaves us
The beginning never ends
The learning never ends
The pain won’t let up
The cure isn’t gonna come
Demands won’t stop coming in
The possibilities won’t expand
Yet the solution never changes
The climax is never unattractive
A finale won’t ever spoil
As your motivation, or as your reason
But the 3rd act doesn’t exist
The 74th act is never the last
The book isn’t gonna close
Cos the end has no end

Sebastian Noël

A Buh-Buh-Bored Boy

It always goes this way
2 stops from the station it goes this way
If not chasing the shadows of my losses
It’s trying to steal that which I haven’t earned
Yeah the closer I get, it always goes this way
9,000 years in the future and I’ll still be a brat

I’ll take any version of it making the rounds
Even if it’s by candle light to a brick wall
As I make a deceleration of a wordplay and poetry
To the reception of a single word review
Illuminated against the stars that have bothered to turn up
Don’t take it hard, just how things are
But an opportunity born from archaic rubble that be
Cos I can’t be fucked with the small talk either hunny

Fuck the colloquialism, designed to disguise
And fuck worshipping love like a religion
I just need a reason to live tonight baby
Like a spoonful of sugar, ain’t nothing wrong with enjoying it
Feed me any myth you want, I’ll swallow it down everytime
Like the house cocktail, I’ll down any shit you give me

I’ll take the first volunteer, cos I’m empty
Not like a man facing the knifes edge
But like a forgotten colouring book, down memory lane
I have no purpose without any input
By which way will my personality progress?
That’s down to you baby, and the shot you fling my way
I wouldn’t christen it desperation personally
That implies I haven’t survived colourless all this time
But god I’m so fucking impatient
Cos I’ve been stuck on chapter 3 for 9 novels straight

So please help me turn the page

Lnc0

The Non Title Too

The clothes on my back, the limbs on my torso
I’d trade it all in for the cheat code
To tell me what keeps me out of reach
But never out of their sight
Oh gracious, were you waiting for a signal
Waitin’ for me to swallow my pride, and writhe on the floor
Well consider my ego digested and gone
And my muscles in a state of constant voltage

And I always wondered
What if I caught you one day
Sipping on cream coolers in the sun
Would it be proper to get down on my knees
Or grab you by the collar and scream
“You’re not in that hell you go through on your own
Cos baby I’m right there too, dying all this time
So for the love of god, please help me!”
But would you?

Would you put a hit out on me?
If my personal leaked to your ears
Would it recontextualize years of malice
Into empathy and symmetry
I already knew the answers before I asked it
What a ridiculous notion to believe
But with no baseline to play too
Your mind conjures fantasies while stuck in the pipeline

Lnc0

The 4th Dimension – Part 2

We’re on the subject of eyes again
Cos they won’t stop looking
It’s always stare stare stare
Yeah stare stare stare stare stare
Maybe it’s high time I crossed back

Cos despite still residing in an invisible world
They cut through the 4th dimension anyways
Feel me in the same world they inhabit
They can’t understand what it is they found
But do they really want to know?
If I stepped back onto this world for them
Would they be disappointed by what they see?
Would they care about the real me?
They’d rather keep me a mystery I bet
Like the Sasquatch in the woods, or Nessie in the lake
Things are better kept legends
No need to spoil their illusion with fact

Cos no one accepted me in the 1st dimension
How am I to believe now would be different
Their content at staring at me
Like a freak in their favourite brand
Better to be alone in the 4th dimension

Lnc0

The 4th Dimension – Part 1

The 4th Dimension
It’s where I’ve been hiding for a very long time
To cower from any context looking to dilute
I’m barely holding together, the cracks glued by Pritt Stick
It’s safer to hide in the 4th Dimension

At the very least till my trail has gone cold
“How are you and…?” “Weren’t you with…”
“I ain’t spoken to you since….?”
I hide out of sight till they stop surveying
And those who look for me thin out
Then until they forget me
They might track me like lighthouse when I’m out
But I’m never really there
They can’t interact with that in the 4th dimension
So they stare, but remain still

But maybe it’s time I vacated
Back into a world where people do more then see me
I’m so scare of the scorn, the indifference
I want to believe however, I got to have faith
Someone wants me out of the 4th dimension

Lnc0

Feeder

You take to the skin peeling of your innocent face
With a fragmented thumbs up and a fake smile
And when we’re sounding the alarms to check if your alive
You show us the back of your hand, how dare we care
But you see empathy isn’t a renewable source
You keep spendin’ and spendin’ and it’s gonna run dry
Your jaw drops to the floor when I turn back around
But honey I’m handing out diamonds, and your treating them like copper

You say this isn’t love
And you ain’t wrong
I’d say this wasn’t love at all

Cos your a feeder through and through
You feed any evil that comes knocking at your door
We offer our hands out to help your up
Only to be treated with bites and scowls
But what of the hands that only want to give you slap?
Well your on your hands and knees for them aren’t you dear?
So it’s clear where our time falls on your scale of worth
And I know I’m at least worth a lot more then that

You think your the only one suffering
Some of us aren’t content licking our wounds dry
And of course your running low on time to help with that
But watch the spare time pour out of your pockets
When the scorpions are low on their ego quota
That is till he stings you in the back again
Then it’s back to me, hands and knees for the hand out
But no more, I’m above tending to the leaches

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

Split [W.I.P]

I don’t wanna split, don’t wanna split
But everyone’s content with lying
The taste of Superman courses through the glands
But it’s more then a tap of the snooze button
Oh it’s more then a case of being present
And it takes a lot more time then you got to spare
And we mustn’t hate those who spit out the food
After biting of more then they knew they were chewing
Cos any hand outstretched, no matter how weak the grip
Was always put there with the purest of intentions

And even when you work your arse to the bone
Sometimes you just run out of the stuff
Time, Soul, Care or even Heart
We should only give what we can spare
Cos our throne’s are waiting at the summit
And we ain’t got very long to make the hike up there
People you see they just don’t wanna follow you
You hand them the water and it tastes like sewage
Only then do you stop to see the state of your arms
Covered in bruises and scratches
We all want to be the hero if it’s in our sights
But sometimes it kills you, and they just gotta wait

So I tell you again I really don’t wanna split
Even though you felt the need to lie
I really can’t stand to split again
Even though all you do is fucking lie
I don’t want to hurt anyone again
And it hurts to accept your help
As much as it hurts you to give to me
I guess I gotta stay patient

Lnc0

Safe To Say I’m Cynical (W.I.P)

Live to survive
Never feels good, never felt glamorous
I feel like a sidekick in someone else’s novel
Who failed to show up on shoot day
I dunno where I should be
Seems like I ended up here

Still here, with you nestled in my arms
Thriving in the soil we made
I dunno where we could’ve gone
I just know we’re here
To shit scared to step into the crosshairs
To risk even a scratch of harm
A Friday night all alone
Viewed like a rapture from sinner’s eyes
Self imposed curfew, self mutilating schedule
We were born for more then this, but it ain’t worth it

Our mouths always feel a little parched
No matter what it is we’re fed
The tannoy’s blaring caution in the background
But maybe together, we can dismiss it

Lnc0