Valentines Day Scribbles ‘16

Your presence in this den indicates you must agree
That this day isn’t for the betrothed and connected
It’s for the wondering hearts floating in the ocean
A chance for us to get back on the beaches
To stretch our arms, and bend our knees
As I ask “What does this world owe me?”

I know this conversion was born of depravity
But don’t be content feasting on the scraps
Spit them out into your hands and cleanse the shame
With clean palms and conscience embrace your desires
Now I’m not so arrogant to claim I house all your wants
For all I know better men may be hiding in this soirée
But judging by the way we’re both smiling right now
During classic get away convos in the guest bedroom
I feel I can make a case for me being a good use of your time

Even when we separate to the other attractions
As you sample the home-made cocktails
While I lay down with the stoners and the deceased
We always make a little effort to keep an eye on us
We wouldn’t dare take a step outside this circus
Without the other firmly grasping our wrist

If only I could tell myself the things you tell me
I’d be soaring like a supernova in the Antarctic
My quips must sound like peewee league pep talk
But I hope I got the point across at least
That every inch of you that comes into my vision
Is like drops of Kushinada’s sake in my eyes
The details of your skin like The Starry Night
The divinity of your thighs, brings tears to my eyes
Break my legs and leave me to die
So I can bask in glory till the day I expire

Lnc0

They Call Me Yggdrasil

The drunks and the socialites, they call me Yggdrasil
As my vines soak up another Broadside
Your back to the wall is the best vantage point
You can’t keep tabs on the tigers as they patrol the pine
They smile and purr as they mark your arms
But each and everyone hides a torch behind their backs
Their eyes like fireflies as they sway in the dark
And I don’t think I get away from any danger
They say 23 is in the prime of youth
Then why is the bark peeling of my skin
More and more of my face is being left behind
And I don’t think my denizens recognize me anymore
The only curse I’m under is my inability to lie
I see my brethren wipe clay on the pours and call it skin
But I’m not ready to succumb to the mould
I refuse to accept I wasted my youth in southern comforts
There’s so many camellias.and lotuses I can add to my branch
So please tell me the face I have to wear, so I can get there
And maybe you’ll obstruct my path again
You possess many forms but I know you’re the same mind
Then you wrap yourself around my roots
And your soul secretes that gorgeous lilac haze
This time I won’t leech your life away, to fuel mine
I’ll let you exert pressure and rip me out of the soil
Cos we’re the polar opposites of our nature
While my body remains, my soul continuously changed
So I hope when you peel back the oak
You can find comfort in whatever you find

Lnc0

Breakfast Bap Blues

Your so close to dying
A molecule based misery seeps from the floor
On a not unexpected, but disappointing 5 past 10
Your dodging english again to escape the rainpour
While an egg yolk begins to weep for you
As you take another bite of your morning bap
It’s as miserable of a picture as it sounds
And all you got is the classic English morning for company

You don’t even know when it went wrong
But you know that look when it cuts you
Reserved for the most fiendish of miscreants
As he finds any excuse to pull his hand away from yours
An itch, checking the phone, pointing to a bug eating dogshit
A mere millimetres separate you, but your continents apart
He even was in rush to kiss you at the door
And there goes a boy, who didn’t want to be here in the first place

Was it something you said? Or did?
Did you miss the cue to deliver your line?
Fuck the line, I don’t think you ever got the script
Maybe he’s right, maybe you never do listen
How do you apologise, you know he’ll just ask why?
And if you’re short of an answer
Then that’s as good as telling him to fuck off
Maybe if you got him that album he’s always talki…. mmm…
That’s when a clairvoyants flash slips into your mind
And it slowly starts to dawn, that it’s futile

So you sink further into the diners throne
Your face covered by azure curls
In your Totoro hoodie, and your copy of Wild World
As you stomach that there’s nothing you can do
To make the clouds part and the sun beam
So you might as well just waste your time…

Lnc0

Where I Grow

Can I grow here anymore?
I look at those who fled with cautious eyes
They took a dash to make distance from themselves
Ignoring what the cast in champagne tinged company
They’ve all something to prove to their peers
Who materialize as stones that make these towers

I assumed I’d follow suit when I go
But after a winter of hugging my shadow
He’s written me up an personal reference
“Sebastian hereby accepts his self, where ever he goes”
So without bias I can wonder and see
What waits outside of these borders for me

They’re already dead
Every artist, every dreamer
Something colourless and callous has taken them
And now they have the answers; they cannot grow anywhere
Colchester’s devoid of romantics
Devoid of a sense of curiosity
And I do want to show the soil my love
And if I ingrain, could I never find another
Who looks my way like the first present on Christmas morning
Without the blindfold youth and ignorance provides
I think I already know

But I have no idea where they’d go
My reflection given a conduits form
Maybe the nature of symmetry relives me of worry
The place where I can grow…. Surely they too will roam

Lnc0

Recovery

More then bruised, more then battered
She left this one with scratched lens
All he could see in himself was her reactions
The sigh as she looked him up and down
But these made him forget the fundamentals
That in life the quality of the self has little bearing
On the eyes people use to gaze at you
It’s how you wear the threads life deals you

It’s a Saturday eve at the gathering place
The gale obeys his order and bursts the door open
Each step, each passing glare creeping below sunken brows
A flare signalizing his presence
Cementing his right to occupy this space
With the artists, the models, the glamours, the glyphs
But did he really do anything to elevate himself here?
Or did his body decree it? And we all choose to listen

The slime starts to melt and the clay starts to petrify
He’s collected every fragment of what he’s lost
The looks and chatter start to matter again
When you discard the means to their appearance
He’s a titan, he’s become his own goddess
And if the world is blind to that grace
He’s taken the clerics responsibility
To make his appearances an event once more

While they chase the marble clad faceless idols
You remove the mask and wear the cracks like jewellery
No façade, your a damaged vessel
But you move through Midgard as any force would
You’re not an example of defeat, but of adversity
If you stand here any one of us could

Anything you see me as is a part of the trick
But I’ll take a lie as a means to inspire
Like all Nephilim I exist in betwixt and between
I’ll shine brighter and justify my placement in your stories

—————————————————————-

This poem was written to be preformed by a trio as followed:
Female
Female
Male

Lnc0

14/02/16 – And A While Prior

This feels like writing a eulogy
I guess in a way it is
But on account of arrogance
It’s just a little overdue…

Is there any chance you still think of me?
In passing? Even if for a micro-second?
Cos for me, given the time of year
The second that clock hits February, I can’t help myself

It may of been just a blip, a tick, a glitch if we’re being cynical
But I think the smallest durations can be the most intense
I’ve had years and years of accompaniment before
But they never got me like you did, in a mere duo of months

Silky waves on a crystal beach
Lukewarm breeze on lost jacket nights
A sight to dilate
Brings the crack of smiles
To a mourning frown
And to bruised skin
An exercise to the creative soul
And an expansion to the creative mind
You were this and so much more
The most elating memory I know

So does your mind, drag you back in time too?
Does it leave your day bleak, and your future blue?
To reminisce about all the little ways
We’d make divinity out of early work days

Is it only me that reserves a prayer or two?
That despite the magnitude of earth that now separates us
That somehow come February the 14th
When I step outside into a standard blistering night
Our frequencies will somehow align
And no matter where I choose to sulk
I’ll be greeted by them platinum dollar eyes
Then maybe I could just drop the facade
Act like not even 1 second has past since I saw you last
And just tell you how much I’ve missed you

Still dedicated to B.B

Lnc0

A sequel to this Valentine relic of 2 years:
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/77842940245/14022014

Still Vibes

It’s another still night in Colchester
Everyone’s gaze is exclusive to surface level
And a vibrant facia pallet of fauna
Is indistinguishable from the cold grey tarmac

And I’ve honestly got nothing interesting to say
No mythological comparisons to make for my Tuesday
And definitely no darling in sight to glorify
Nothing remarkable about a still vibe

Cos without my know-how
My subconscious has be sorting out rations
Keeping my personality for ransom
Not to exert every kilojoule, not quite yet
On winter time dates in the warm
That can’t even muster a flat spark
I run to the hills with delight painted on my face
Only to be greeted by a horde of the dead

Their ain’t nothing remarkable about a still populous
And if everyone’s keeping their love off the line
What good is currency anyway?
If all it’s doing is leaving ache in your chest
Best to wait for the ripples in the blue
And cannonball accordingly
Until then the cold locks up the receptors
Stops anyone from detecting what anyone’s feeling
So it’s best to shut down completely
Until we’re back into stormy waters again

Lnc0

When They Say “I Wear The Trousers” They Mean…

I’m seeing your name in every textbook
I feel your gaze in every corner
I’m sensing the way you haunt me at every turn
I see the emulation as I perform your diction
Walking down the street like you do
Spouting your inside jokes, with exact timing to boot
I know it’s you rushing inside my veins
Jousting my body like a puppeteer
Ready to crawl out of my skin
When you can confirm assimilation is complete
I’ll give up my heritage, my title, my life
I surrender everything for you to love me some more

Your damn right you want me to love you more
Claw your way to me on the floor
And don’t you ever forget I’m the one you adore
Whisper your worship to me, or I’ll show you scorn

When your running low on my attention
I want you seeing red, panic as the meter empties
Pulling your hair out, writhing on the settee
As I tell you I ain’t got a free minute till tomorrow
Your beginning and end all hinge on me
Every quirk shown, every sentence spoken
All born from my influence, my inspirations
I’m here to stay in your mind, if you like it or not

Lnc0

What’s Bad About Wanting Attention?

I’ll level with all of you reading at home
I’ll take dramatic over bored any day
Dancing with the butterfly knifes
Over decomposing in my chair
My circles looking at me with concern
Over looking right through me
The growl of death over the waltz of life
…Well At least in theory

You can call it attention seeking
…Well yeah what else would you call it?
But I noticed no one else has to ask
As if it’s a necessary human need
As if my world curls and breaks
While I fester through another lonely Costa afternoon

I mould at the back of the place
Keep my gaze on the peepshow outside
I see the peppy mid-twenties darlings
Their follicles in constant contact
And my heart starts to sink
I look at my skin like collapsed timber
Do the creases feel like razor blades?
Would it feel like ash if you stroked my hands?
Does every inch of my thigh feel like splinters?
When did my body start to disgust people like that?

So I plan a season finale
A fall from grace, a decent from the heavenly throne
Courtesy of Head Street
Jeered on by the stone gargoyles
With enough eyes on me
That I’ll get empathy systematically
And then maybe they’d visit me later
While I take a break in the trauma ward
And they’ll look at me and they’ll say
“I’m glad your still alive Sebastian”
That’s more vindication in a single breath
Then I bleed out from my lovers and allies
In what feels like the 3rd lap of my lifetime
Attention seeking? Why of course

What else could you possibly call it?
But am I not entitled to it?

Lnc0

☆~(✿◕w◕)~☆

I’m sorry if it’s making you uncomfortable
The way I frown through a gaping smile
I’m troubled I honestly am!
Cos it’s been a awful long while
Since you’ve crossed my windowsill
Flaunting that precious grin
I can’t stand it, it breaks me heart!
I don’t even know your name
And I’ve only caught you through 2nd hand glances
But I’m gonna change that!
I’ll get your favourite flavour milkshake
And I’ll ask you what happened?
To chase away the smile off your face?

Who did this? What was her name!?
What was she like? Why did she do that?
That sounds like it gets worse and worse…
Well what do you like? What would you want?
Where do you wanna go? Do you wanna go now?
If you wanna go with me, I’ll sweep the sadness away!

I jot down a note of all the things that make you happy
All while I try and mislead you into thinking I’m funny
I wanna pull the loose threads of your favourite jacket
Before pulling the firm threads of your sideburns
Just to antagonize you enough to instigate a playfight
So I can get my hands on that fluffy mop on your skull
And maybe you’ll let me inspect you up and down
Your eyes, your cheeks, your lips, your ears
Your chest, Your giggle, Your attempts at appearing grumpy
Oh god I love them all! They’re all on re-run in my head all day!
So please don’t feel you should hide yourself from public eyes
What on earth did we do to deserve that?
Your the best part of my daily routine!
So please don’t leave it at home

Lnc0