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Love Song #562

It says a lot about the weight I’ve had to carry
That I’ve only just had the time to idle long enough to remember
It’s been a whole month since we last were a part of each others lives
I’m not surprised to find I’ve been left on read this whole time since then
It’s our insignia to leave something like this so open ended
I guess you saw this like a pit stop less a reunion
Two satellites converging on their trajectory for a weekend
Before going their separate ways until the next time fate gravitates them
I’m not gonna act like I’m shocked by it at all
But I’m not gonna act like it didn’t sting a little bit either

To think of the sincerity of what you told me that night
With the kind of grin that comes from exploring a new life in your palms
But with the familiarity of slipping back onto an old coat
To think your happy to just walk away from all that
Cos for you it was just another night
Thinking about it gets me misty eyed if I’m being honest with you

But I am a satellite first and foremost
And my destiny doesn’t lie with waiting on your trail
Cos when I returned to my soil it was instantaneous
The cries of my brothers, sisters and siblings
The ones who share all the corners of my make-up
Were all I could hear even behind my headphones
I didn’t even get a chance to take off my boots
But already I got an obligation to my people

Cos they’re trying to survive under the crosshairs of society
Each and every star in my city struggling to burn brightly
Anyway I can help guide their way, that’s the reason I’m still on this rock
To share this pain and bring them all with me as I raise higher
Cos if I’m doomed to wait for heaven on earth
Then I reckon this isn’t a bad use of my precious time

Still, I think about how you won’t join me and my breathing gets heavier
The callous ways of the cisgendered will be a mystery to me I suppose
But I’m grateful I got to lie with you for one more night again
It gave me a reminder of what love is supposed to look like:

The ease of it, the flowing dialogue, the little moments of contact
An DIY chicken sandwich lunch, letting the time get away from us
The passionate rants 3 glasses of Preseco in
Pound store Christmas lights illuminating the room
As you enthusiastically get reacquainted with the nuances of my body
Only to get flustered at the puzzle of my belt buckle
No vague mysteries or foggy clues: You just want me.
And that’s the most wanted I’ve ever felt in a decade my friend

So now I’m back in my local with the next romance in the queue
When he tries to sell me a tertiary association
As a romance of the same calibre
I’ll remember our night during January 2019
And I’ll see past the contexts and the politics
And remember love doesn’t have to feel this empty