Legion

An ancient infantry tactic, resurrected and rebranded for 2016
I think they call it “The Esteem Team” these days
All to get out of meeting your lost love’s gaze
Cos who knows what it’d stir if we got empathy involved

Surrounded by the lighthouse beacons
Why you gotta show me your back again?
With your eyes fixated on nothing
Acting like your above the entire planet?
But your scouts gave up the ghost
Giving me the up and down, filing the scriptures
Like a flock of bees relaying to their queen
You can see everything without looking at me once

But that begs the question, why the cabaret?
What is it your hoping to keep out of view?
Don’t you like the implication that naturally follows
With looking a fellow homosapien in the eye?
It’s the only indicator that you still kept a part of your humanity
But what then? When the weasels whisper back to your ears?
I’m not gonna stay invisible for your convenience
I won’t flash puppy dog eyes to fuel your narrative

Cos I know it’s not what you wanna hear
But I’m doin’ just fine, even if unlike you
I may be lacking the trench coat romance
But maybe I’m better then ever
Free to say what I do and don’t like
Without a vice grip choking my personality out

And does it creep you out
To see all the boys and girls in the bar
Handing out stares like they’re charity?
Creating more and more evidence as they go
That life continues outside your storybook
And that we’re not waiting on the bench
Counting down the seconds to be written back in
Cos the sequel might just outsell the original

So while the platoon’s still in the legion formation
You best retreat to the corner of the place
Cos what you saw as power, was sweet life blooming
And that’s something that is no ones to take
You see these vanilla cream enlistees?
The one’s you spoke of like a raisin in a Victoria Sponge
They offer me the Parma Violet quips
All while intending to leave me intact
Somehow, I think I’ll survive you

Sebastian Noël

Jan

Jan, hey Jan, help Jan
Broken jam jar’s are Jan’s jam
My pay slip smells like mouldy coffee Jan
Get Jan on that!
Jan’s on checkouts
Jan’s also on help desk
Jan’s in every strand of my DNA
I need a Jan to help with my son’s grazed knee!
Quick where’s Jan with her awkward racist Christmas joke!
Classic Jan that, CLASSIC
Isn’t that the JANIEST Jan you Jan’d
That’s dead Jan that
Buying the coffee mug that says ‘Cock’
BEEEP BOOOOP Jan alert
And alert designed to go off when Jan does a Jan
Can’t get enough of Jan, oh Jan’s dead good
I dislocated my jaw to fit more Jan in my life

My newborn has the sacred birthmark
Of a youth destined to be the manager of a Canvey superstore
The doctor leans in and whispers
“That’s Jan as FUCK”
Jan’s in Jan school to be as Jan and can be
Planning out her one story:
>Jan falling in the pond
>Jan called Mike, Mark in 1998
>Jan ate 5 crackers at break, FUCKING MENTAL
And when Jan Version 1.250 goes for cracker number 6
The SWAT team come in and blows her brains out
Cos that’s bridging into Jade territory that
No Jan can cotain such ‘What a laugh’-ness
Not for you Jan no no!
Now tell us how your 2 quid fell in the loo?
Or how your dog Janice barks sounds like ‘Fuck off’
Oh Janny Jan Jan Jan Jannarooo Jan Jan
Jantiy Jan Janiccsseeyy Jan Jan Jan Jan Jan FUCK

Sebasitan Noël

9 Till Die

The kind that still says chavs wear slapbacks
The kind that says people don’t fuck with the lights on
Well do they?
Not much of a view from Debenhams help line
A broken swivel chair in a cream cubicle
Just the one window on to Head Street
Where all the people look like ants
Devoid of connectivity
Again as far as she could know
No look in for the mortal coil

A futile attempt to keep poll position
From a world dammed to open it’s chest
Those cards don’t stay hidden for long
Nothing to show, something to hide
So she starts to feel a lag coming on
In expression and comprehension
Why can’t they communicate like before
A note’s off, a puzzle piece is missing

And I tell you darhl, you won’t find it soon
Not at the bingo, karaoke or disco night
Not when your accelerating towards age
And a blinding speed

Sebastian Noël

Optimistic Clairvoyance

Sugar cube crystals pouring from the kitchen side
Infusing my blood stream as it lands in my veins
It brings a technicolour focus to your moves
The way your shakes bend the support beams
Shift and shapes the claustrophobic closets
To a blooming lotus flower over shadowing a dead town
That way you sway it’s a catastrophe
Sounding off your unique brand of light beam

Girl I’m a prisoner, I always was
So before I suffocate completely
Tear the foundations apart and set me free
Self-destruct our fractured lifestyles like visionaries
No kindness, No bullshit, Let the heart unabashedly beat
Grab my hair, trap me in between those thighs
Embrace every cubic-second of me
Only we can understand and produce the perfect synergy

What do I have to do
What bones of mine do I have to break to show you
It’s do or die here tonight
And I’ll die again and again
Take any form it’ll take
To grab your eyes into that reality
Cos if it’s not you it’s constant misery
And I’ll ripen from the world tree till I get it right

Sebastian Noël

Aftermath – B-Side

Tell me has there ever been a time you’ve met me
That wasn’t a result of trading stern words with him?
If not it were a long while hence
Back to a time where our worries reached an apex
When wondering if we could make it under the sheets before dark
A far cry from the padlocks of stresses that keep us bound
You find yourself in an Alcatraz on earth
Where even your tongue is cuffed to the ceiling

So when you tell me your desperately searching for me in him
Honey, how else am I supposed to take that?
Other then a silenced vow of devotion?
Morse code hidden in the small talk
If I could upset the delicate balance we got going here
I’d reciprocate entirely
Take you in my arms, present you with my beating chest
Then I’d ask “Why search for me, when I’m right here?”

Cos I’ve always been your voluntary slave
And everyone, our friends, our sisters, they all know it
But not to speak out of line or anything
I just wish for once; you were free to speak honestly
Command me to connect with your lips
Then I’ll decommission the ground beneath you
We’ll fall into an uncertain abyss for sure
But we’d be falling arm in arm

Cos truth be told I’ve been looking for you too
In the hearts and minds of an uncaring and cold public
I’ve come damn close to finding you again sure
But no close call matches up to the original
They all took a step away cos they all knew
My heart was just on loan to them
Still waiting for it’s original owner to come back
To take it back into their possession

So won’t you take a Molotov to your domestic bliss
Then take back what’s rightfully yours?
Cos if I was tailored for loving you
Then I’m just a boy scout stuck in the Amazon without you
It takes so little to inflame the fuse
But the wires around your throat hold you back
I hate to end the romcom before the liar revealed
But… There is truly nothing I can do

The sunset’s serene that’s guaranteed
And everyone’s waiting for it
But if Juliet misses the casting call
Then again… What exactly is it we can do?

What am I supposed to do
When there’s nothing anyone can do
When I’m only alive to love you
But there’s shit all anyone can do

What to do?
No one can control a heart or a mind
What’s a boy to do?

Sebastian Noël

Loop

The cosmos is merciless
The kingpin of duress
The quill on the script
The drug that causes the trip
There are no exceptions, you’re expected to dance on beat

Another coffee husked afternoon to add to the pile
Wasting time re-writing the same lines everyday
He wants to push past, write something that’ll last
But when mind and the sword don’t align
The loop starts its never relenting swipes
Stuck like VHS, feels like an unwelcome caress

Starts to write about the birds chirping in the trees
Another line about her expensive smile proceeds
Wants to write to make the world better
But look, yet another line about her crystal eyes
About the majesty of her thighs
Her cutting sense of humor
Her child heart
Cool clothes
Unending tallent
Think im being unfair? Well remember who’s holding the pen

The cosmos is merciless
The reason you regress
The strings in a marionette
The assassin of your alphabet
You have no choice in the things you scribe

A classic sonnet, a Blake competitor
Both out of your reach if you bite your tounge
Your hearts aflame; supernova, cos this story isn’t over
She’s got tabs on you, they have tabs on you
The entire populous with eyes have tabs on you
Your life’s consumed, unless romance blooms

Art can only dely so much
Life’s creeping on you
Put the pen down son
Doomsdays comming your way

Sebastian Noël

The XXXXXXXXX series

Here’s a compilation of them poems I christen the ‘XXXXXXXXX’ series in what is in many ways a chronological order of events, some of these take years before I finish them so if you want to see my heart be destroyed in a canonical timeline, now you can!

1) XXXXXXXXX
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147258028267/xxxxxxxxx

——————————————————————————–

2) Byakko
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/143784812282/byakko

3) Another Draft Of History
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/146711143547/another-draft-of-history

4) Feeder
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/145360464887/feeder

5) Detachment Blues
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/143989454096/detachment-blues

6) Being Honest
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147257267742/being-honest

7) Aftermath
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147258954067/aftermath

Sebastian Noël

Aftermath

It’s out of my hands
I gotta keep reminding myself of that
It’s all the past, the handiwork of Luke
That’s not got a whole lot with the person you are now

But what to do now?
As I said I’ve come out a clone of you
Maybe though…. That ain’t so bad
If life’s a repetition I could get another shot
But maybe as the mistress this time
Maybe everything I felt for you
Statistically someone could feel that for me?
Could I be the conclusion to a fleeting heart?

Imagine such a thing!
Their face would animate daybreak as I enter the room
All my actions and decisions becomes to their liking
They’d forget to dream, cos reality is indistinguishable
Every inch of my body is their idolisation
They’d fetishize my very existence
Every time I crash they’d reveal in bringing be back up
In fact they’d take a perverse pride in it!

It’s gotta happen one day right?
In this world where people go out of there way
Not to even know me
It’s got to happen even for a little shit tyke like me
To penetrate the smog that surrounds me
And see their future….

As much as the romantic would like to proclaim
How I’d chase you to the ends of the earth
Force every atom to prove my love to you
Proper ‘Notebook’ it y’know?
I know there’s no way in hell
You’re trapped in domestic bliss, no thanks to me
But I don’t wanna carry the blame anymore
It’s 1 to 1,000,000 in finding a new love
But I’m liking them odd’s
I won’t lie and say the door isn’t left open or anything
But maybe in time luck will be on my side
And someone will reward devotion by returning it

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

XXXXXXXXX

A burden lifted, a job relieved
Must’ve been Christmas come earlier
Like if the addicts stash grew legs
And filed the restraining order itself

Oh XXXXXXXXX
This is good for us I swear
You’ll miss the biscuit tin rises when taken away
But when your gorging on the 5-star moments
As your creation takes centre of an exhibition
While your published 2nd half to be, he grabs you tight
Kisses you on the head, and tells you how proud he is
You won’t be missing us then I promise

Oh XXXXXXXXX
Dry your eyes princess, this is no time to fret
There’s no glory keeping the Griffin in the cage
You were never mine, you belonged to the Gaia
To fuel those needing souls with inspirations
So they can join you sipping wine at the Tate Modern
Tell the kids it’s just a matter of time
Tell them we can all be like you XXXXXXXXX

Oh XXXXXXXXX
Know that despite time, I’ll always love you
For anymore I’ll doubt such a sappy claim
But for you it’s a sure fire
It’s just I’m a mystery to myself
And I’m a weaker man for it
No need for you to get caught in this mess I’m in
I’ll take the bullet, I’ll survive the bleeding

And when we come across each other again
When we lock eyes in the street
You’ll be wearing the nicest outfit
Arm in arm with an Adonis
You’ll look my way
And I’ll look back with a smile
Cos I know I made the right choice
Oh I’ll never escape loving you XXXXXXXXX
Only love can motivate such a suicide
But don’t worry I’ll make my own way

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series
Originally written 6 years ago, tarted up in 2016

Being Honest

It doesn’t make it any better being honest
Walking down Old Heath road with an explained expression
Didn’t exactly make the times any easier to swallow
Saying the scimitar lodged in my gut may be forever

And what if I become honest with the scripture too
Paint colourful metaphors about the daily life
How the morning toasties taste worse and worse
How my face is succumbing to age and pruning up
How I’ve lost all motivation to keep in shape
You’re lost to the first guy who’ll raise their fist

So what’s the point?

Recollection hangs around like a spectre
Inciting the grmiore of comparison to ruin the mood
How can I progress in the world with this curse looming
Cos I couldn’t help but notice she can’t carry a joke like you can
She ends things 1 punch line too short
She doesn’t get as silly, not prone to knocking things over
Doesn’t get so excited that she screams through her laugh
Or says a diss so loud you command silence in the room

And we talk she sticks to the safe havens
Always people and events again and again
She wasn’t born a great person not like we were
You couldn’t get us away from out ideas
We swear we’re gonna make it in some way
And if we brought up something we didn’t know
There’s no popularity contest: We just don’t know
And we’d be excited to be taught by our favourite person

And when we make our way home
I can’t help but notice she’s not as experimental as you
She doesn’t take the lead like you did
You were sub at heart but not afraid to lay your demands down
There’s no flow with her, not like we’re in sync at all
You were so far on the wavelength you finished my thoughts
And if we wanted to try something new?
No demand was to taboo to see the other smile

But it’s time to accept the dealers hand
There’s no other option but to move on
Into the hands of the less inclined public
The kind to make a roll call based on minutes
“His name isn’t Simon and he wears his ring like THAT!?”
Oh joy, and to think I have to fight for their affection
I dunno if that’s the way round it should be
It’s all statistics, it’s all defensive
No way to let sweet love bloom
When everyone’s hiding a knife behind their masks

The nagging sense that follows from wake till break
Well it alleviates when we wasted any time together
But why don’t you value that? Like all others do?
“I don’t need a best friends” you exclaim
But without irony bust your romances lack of synergy
The key to our woe’s is staring us right in our faces

The novelists dream is right here on our path can’t you see
What’s keeping your veil firmly wrapped XXXXXXXX?
I can’t vision the rewards in store that keeps your back to me
A domestic bronze medal is your ambition? Just seems silly

My friend’s still tease me about it you know
“So are you still in love with XXXXXXXXX?”
Did anyone need confirmation?
I’ve left my psyche at the mercy
Of schizophrenics, narcissists and neurotics
To beat me into the perfect man for you
But it’s still not enough for you
Well nothing would be enough for you
You’re not in the race, you’re not on the market
But just for the 0.1% odds I thought…. Maybe
You’d be enticed by the things in your dreams
But reality bites, don’t it XXXXXXXXX?

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series