She Paints

She paints, but there’s not much else to her
Least nothing she could find
No peak as you bypass the skin
No shocks when you feel the neuro
She paints, that much is certain
But what hooks could that provide?

She paints, but who else does?
And even when they do too
That’s no basis for a connection
She paints, but not like they do

She paints, but it’s the origin of isolation
“I’ve suplexed 9 condo’s into the lava
Then saved 6 magical girls from Satan
Before making my 3rd million at poker
But enough about me, what have you been up to?”
She paints, but that’s all she ever does

She paints, as she lets life pass her by
Absent from the pub
Absent from the gigs
Absent from the work due
And they all know where she is
No matter what the last minute text says
She paints, as she cowers from the window
She paints, but swallow regret all the while

She paints, when there’s no one around
No one can make the coffee date
“My misses has the day off work”
No one can join the shopping day
“My boyfriend wants to watch some movie”
She paints, but she has to wonder
Would it be so frequent with someone at her side?

She paints, she paints, she paints
She paints, the whole world away

Lnc0

Fragile

There’s only so many times you can ignore
The little warning signs pulsating under your skin
The skipped beats, the little tremors and aches
That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna give it a try though
Hands over the ears, and the neurons
Running on performance specs from decades gone
Nothings gonna stop me from having fun
The spirit is willing, The soul is willing
But I’m willing to bet
It’s all due to collapse any second

Another round down during the next gig night
I’ll whisper in your ear all the things I’m gonna do
The velocity of youth still regulates in us all
But on my way out an objection creeps in
The shades turn Rouge, Ruby and Cinnabar
My legs unfold and constrict
I reset my stature with every twitch
“NOT THIS AGAIN, NOT NOW!”

I can’t even keep up with my own fabrication
The after image has overtook on the inside
Despite how I smirk or pose it can’t be denied
My bodies giving way to my limits
The man can never shape up with the myth
Another flutter in my chest as I protrude the mucus
How ever I came into the scene
I’m leaving as a mockery of the human form

“NO!” I fucking screech out
As I claw my way up the pavement
Blood trickling down my grip
As I tremble I grasp out into the air
To grab expression to fuel me
To grab a friend to help me
To grab a lass to love me
Anything to claw my way back to the living

My breathings heavier, my feet are collapsing
My ribs protrude further into my chest
Stab deeper into my lungs, hampering arteries
I’m coughing up something new everyday
The shell has failed me again
The bloody things one job it had
To spike the interest of the onlookers
Now they’ve gathered to see a corpse crumble
“Don’t just fucking gawk love
Slap the mirrors from your eyes
And help me up yeah?
My insides are begging to emigrate”

And I merge with the scene
Smelling of lynx and asphyxiation
The rise and fall of respiration
Transpire again and again
It may be too late for me
I may of wasted my time in self bondage
My primes passed me by
And I’m struggling to stay awake
Let alone be anyone’s best use of time
Let alone stave of a worthless title

Lnc0

Value Of Worth

I could never impress you
No matter the accolade or goal post
It couldn’t even give a millimetre of a raise
Must be boring to hear any of it

But sometimes we forget the world
When we’re keen to chalk down the self
To statistics and levels
Like picking out puppies in the pen

A giggle and a nod
That’s all it came down too
Not what I said but how it was said
That’s how I earned the lean in
And when I think about it
That’s how you hooked onto my heart

And suddenly all the lifetime achievements
Feel like finger paintings on the fridge
Compared to making you laugh
Making you smile through the tears
When you lurk around the outskirts
It’s evident a good feelings all we seek

Lnc0

So Are You Just… About Now?

I just wanna swarm you like paparazzi
Cos I got so many questions to relay on to you
When exactly did you come back around?
To roam the streets and to haunt my beats?
But like a Sirens hiding the Kraken beneath her seas
Those sparkling head lights still make me weak at the knees

Could I hit the roulette on lucky 13?
And be graced with the report that you still remember me
The smile you flash as you scan my way
Implies your memory hasn’t progressed another day

Your glitz, your sleaze, the perfection of your tease
Your lips, Your curls, my minds on a downward twirl
The way you add class to every damn place
Are you sure your still of the human race?

You’ll be at awe of the abysmal excuse I’ll use
When I’ll relay a love note, with the digits I swore I’d lose
The time you’ve cameoed in my life has been slight
But now nostalgia’s grip on the synapse is tight

Lnc0

Hesitant, Hesitant

The blood vessels have clocked in overtime
The interpretive belts have tightened around my face
The moisture inside does a pas jeté
Skyward into the atmosphere’s stage
Time’s edging closer off the skyscraper
And the garrotte just gets tighter and tighter
If only I could get my nails under my skin
Tear it to shreds and let the flesh elevate

Because only the espers know what lies underneath
A rotting corpse? Or a coating of amethyst?
And I know wherever you might be hiding
You’ll only notice me in the corner of your eyes
If I’m radiating the elements from my shell
The late night album parties
The all day game marathons
I’ll beat it all down to a bloody pulp, so it’s bitesize

You think your orbiting a million miles away
But when you hear the way
I’ve turned molten obstructions of a waitresses grind
Into golden temples, broken down into their binary forms
Your perception will gain a fuchsia mist
And your heart will invent indents where I’ve touched it
But there’s no way the damage can be cultivated
When my tongues strapped to my molars
And I’m letting life pass me by
Your my greatest motivation, to unfasten the straps

Lnc0

A Life Time Of Love In Review

We’re coming up to the half a year anniversary
But I’m not feeling so vapid come this time around
Maybe it’s cos a familiar question is orbiting my lobes
And quite frankly I don’t have an answer this time around

What it is I’m even asking the stars for?
That which I could pluck from the gardens of my fellows?
With only the addition of readiness to entice the deal
Is that what it all boils down too?
Not a search for beauty, or for enchantment
But a treck for the treasure of convenience?

Maybe I don’t want a blue bird to show for my efforts
I just want the whirlwind of the engagements
The chest pains as I walk up to the meeting place
The stutters in my speech, the grasping for topics
Before tearing the walls down with our finger tips
As the distance between us regressed to decimals
Does it matter how it actually ends up?
If the means to get there were so joyous?

As I vocalize it, it becomes apparent
That we put love into such bizarre quantifiers
So many ounces of attractiveness
They have to hit a quota of earnings and possessions
Maybe those I’ve looked down on had it right
Nothing about them has to blow your mind
I just want to be liked in the most infantile way
For them to like me, like the way I talk
Like the way I dress, like my glass shattering laugh
Like my pointy nose, Like my scraggly hair
Like the way I write, Like the way I love
But above all that shite, the one thing they have to like
Is like the way I like them too
Maybe this isolation wasn’t in vain, to figure that one out

Lnc0

Confused For The Sake Of Being Confused [2016 Remake]

For a romantic debut, I think I could’ve done better
Just to think, nary 2 nights ago we were rolling in the mud
Exerting hot air with no substance to it what so ever
But does it matter? Two teeny bopers shooting the shit
Aiming nothing substantial to be immortalised in the stars
I can’t think of nothing more beautiful in hindsight

Such a cosmic contrast to a classic Essex bust up
Hanging on the thread of another request to be put on hold
Twiddling my toes, finding ways to kill time
While a flood of possibilities pass me by the roadside
Did you do it in the cubicles? Or in the cinema?
Fantastic ways to waste your time on the weekend
I’ve no doubt your trading sucker punches with another fella
Already a jab on it’s own, but the part that really stings
Is the confirmation that love wasn’t the motive to this crime
You just could, that’s it

I try to put it to the back of my mind
This is my first love, and maybe I just don’t know any better
Maybe everyone goes through this too! It’s just process
That’s the key I use to get out of this prison
I’ve curated for myself with absolute precision
With every imagine conjured up designed to incite anguish

So I get my coat and stroll out
The evening’s air has done nothing but aid me thus far
And then I’m greeted by a gorgeous sight
The sight of you patrolling the night with him round the bend
We exchange the looks
I want to scream out, but my mouths locked tight
It’s the restraints I used to lock myself back in the prison
But not before I turn my head to check what I had seen
To check that’s it’s really the end
It’s agony

So I’m back to serving my sentence
Except my imagination’s become fact
A buzz on the phone
The sounds of a moan
I think I knew it all along
But confusions a great delaying tactic ain’t it?

Lnc0

————————————————————————-

As hinted at above, this poem is a remake, infact it’s a remake of THE VERY FIRST POEM I EVER ‘PROPERLY’ WROTE. I’ve never posted it cos y’know Tumblr wasn’t a thing in my life in 2007, but here it is, written by 17 year old me in all it’s embarrassing glory:

By the time the moon has made the lap another 2 times
Your off slinging your hooks with some other guy
To think 2 rotations ago i was sure you was mine
But now i’m a victim of change and at the mercy of why

I wanna be at home and to go alone
I’m not sure anymore
From When to Who and Why and back to Where
I’m shrouded in doubt

Doubt that love was ever the motive behind this most henious crime

I’m strolling about the town again, to find a preaty sight
The sight of you and 2 other guys patroling round the bend
We exchange the looks;
sad in
glad out
but the mouths are shut tight
I turn my head for one last check, to check it’s realy the end

I wanna be close and i wanna be away
I’m not thinking anymore
I rush back home, but i’m feeling regret in confort
I’m left wanting more

So i sit here, on the night alone, only with a brew to call my own
A buzz on the phone
The sounds of a moan
Just please, i need a minuite alone

You can’t put me down for being mad for wearing this frown
It’s just that i can’t bealive i was up aginst half the fucking town

[17 year old] Lnc0

Angels Only Serve To Aggravate

You can hear them praying now
When cracks appear on their rose tinted lens
“Why can’t girls around her be nicer!?”
Written on the slip in their right hand
With a rum and coke in the left
But taste the salt in their tears
When Principalities do descend from above
They’re nicer, they show you boys grace
But that can never change the fundamentals
That the divine are destined to abandon the sinners

God bless the angels, that only serve to aggravate

No amount of divinity can change
A tight locked schedule for the planet
Rapture’s right around the corner
What’s a poor Cherubim supposed to do?
Too nice to tighten the grip on his heart
Knowing it has to loosen someday
Too nice to indulge his curiosities
When accession’s clearly off the cards
That’s the epitome of kindness
That’s the meaning of courtesy
But clearly they’ve missed the memo of that one
Cos all it does is piss a heathen off

So god bless the angels, that only serve to aggravate

Lnc0

I Still Don’t Know What Love Is

A stare blanker then safety fire
That’s the aesthetic as I’m hit with the feeling again
AS you glance at the floor mid waltz
I dunno where you went, but I hope it was better then here
I’m your precious little life support
As you browse the isles for methods to get out
A recent decline you’d assume
But I’m cynical enough to suggest my MO was transplant duty

Our intimacy is sub zero
Our chemistry as acid and alkaline collide
My ears can’t ignore the boredom in your voice
Our affection, brotherly
Our conversations, small talk
My heart can’t deny your indifference

I don’t think anything will modify at this rate
I can’t believe you can’t pick up on the stillness
No matter how much feeling I inject
Your expression stays the same
Like cordyceps growing from a corpse
You can hardly call this living, call this love

I’m happy I was service to your life
But my power is pouring from the cracks
I’m sure you can see the damage that’s done to me
But the method to protecting this shell is simple

Just
Stop
Caring
A million faces are smiling back on me
How moronic to just focus on one

Lnc0

Winter Gibberish

Skiing through the mog, that January generously brings
The cling of smoke, running it’s claws through my hair
I feel all ready dead, but in the best possible way
As the outline of your silhouette skirts in and out existence
My elation hasn’t gone un-noticed by the populous
As they chime in hope to become conductors
Like a circuit that spans the city; the elation can power us all
And we can sore outside the colours and pages
Tear our fingers into the camera lens
And escape the logistics that would guide our hearts along

Lnc0