Recovery

More then bruised, more then battered
She left this one with scratched lens
All he could see in himself was her reactions
The sigh as she looked him up and down
But these made him forget the fundamentals
That in life the quality of the self has little bearing
On the eyes people use to gaze at you
It’s how you wear the threads life deals you

It’s a Saturday eve at the gathering place
The gale obeys his order and bursts the door open
Each step, each passing glare creeping below sunken brows
A flare signalizing his presence
Cementing his right to occupy this space
With the artists, the models, the glamours, the glyphs
But did he really do anything to elevate himself here?
Or did his body decree it? And we all choose to listen

The slime starts to melt and the clay starts to petrify
He’s collected every fragment of what he’s lost
The looks and chatter start to matter again
When you discard the means to their appearance
He’s a titan, he’s become his own goddess
And if the world is blind to that grace
He’s taken the clerics responsibility
To make his appearances an event once more

While they chase the marble clad faceless idols
You remove the mask and wear the cracks like jewellery
No façade, your a damaged vessel
But you move through Midgard as any force would
You’re not an example of defeat, but of adversity
If you stand here any one of us could

Anything you see me as is a part of the trick
But I’ll take a lie as a means to inspire
Like all Nephilim I exist in betwixt and between
I’ll shine brighter and justify my placement in your stories

—————————————————————-

This poem was written to be preformed by a trio as followed:
Female
Female
Male

Lnc0

14/02/16 – And A While Prior

This feels like writing a eulogy
I guess in a way it is
But on account of arrogance
It’s just a little overdue…

Is there any chance you still think of me?
In passing? Even if for a micro-second?
Cos for me, given the time of year
The second that clock hits February, I can’t help myself

It may of been just a blip, a tick, a glitch if we’re being cynical
But I think the smallest durations can be the most intense
I’ve had years and years of accompaniment before
But they never got me like you did, in a mere duo of months

Silky waves on a crystal beach
Lukewarm breeze on lost jacket nights
A sight to dilate
Brings the crack of smiles
To a mourning frown
And to bruised skin
An exercise to the creative soul
And an expansion to the creative mind
You were this and so much more
The most elating memory I know

So does your mind, drag you back in time too?
Does it leave your day bleak, and your future blue?
To reminisce about all the little ways
We’d make divinity out of early work days

Is it only me that reserves a prayer or two?
That despite the magnitude of earth that now separates us
That somehow come February the 14th
When I step outside into a standard blistering night
Our frequencies will somehow align
And no matter where I choose to sulk
I’ll be greeted by them platinum dollar eyes
Then maybe I could just drop the facade
Act like not even 1 second has past since I saw you last
And just tell you how much I’ve missed you

Still dedicated to B.B

Lnc0

A sequel to this Valentine relic of 2 years:
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/77842940245/14022014

Still Vibes

It’s another still night in Colchester
Everyone’s gaze is exclusive to surface level
And a vibrant facia pallet of fauna
Is indistinguishable from the cold grey tarmac

And I’ve honestly got nothing interesting to say
No mythological comparisons to make for my Tuesday
And definitely no darling in sight to glorify
Nothing remarkable about a still vibe

Cos without my know-how
My subconscious has be sorting out rations
Keeping my personality for ransom
Not to exert every kilojoule, not quite yet
On winter time dates in the warm
That can’t even muster a flat spark
I run to the hills with delight painted on my face
Only to be greeted by a horde of the dead

Their ain’t nothing remarkable about a still populous
And if everyone’s keeping their love off the line
What good is currency anyway?
If all it’s doing is leaving ache in your chest
Best to wait for the ripples in the blue
And cannonball accordingly
Until then the cold locks up the receptors
Stops anyone from detecting what anyone’s feeling
So it’s best to shut down completely
Until we’re back into stormy waters again

Lnc0

When They Say “I Wear The Trousers” They Mean…

I’m seeing your name in every textbook
I feel your gaze in every corner
I’m sensing the way you haunt me at every turn
I see the emulation as I perform your diction
Walking down the street like you do
Spouting your inside jokes, with exact timing to boot
I know it’s you rushing inside my veins
Jousting my body like a puppeteer
Ready to crawl out of my skin
When you can confirm assimilation is complete
I’ll give up my heritage, my title, my life
I surrender everything for you to love me some more

Your damn right you want me to love you more
Claw your way to me on the floor
And don’t you ever forget I’m the one you adore
Whisper your worship to me, or I’ll show you scorn

When your running low on my attention
I want you seeing red, panic as the meter empties
Pulling your hair out, writhing on the settee
As I tell you I ain’t got a free minute till tomorrow
Your beginning and end all hinge on me
Every quirk shown, every sentence spoken
All born from my influence, my inspirations
I’m here to stay in your mind, if you like it or not

Lnc0

What’s Bad About Wanting Attention?

I’ll level with all of you reading at home
I’ll take dramatic over bored any day
Dancing with the butterfly knifes
Over decomposing in my chair
My circles looking at me with concern
Over looking right through me
The growl of death over the waltz of life
…Well At least in theory

You can call it attention seeking
…Well yeah what else would you call it?
But I noticed no one else has to ask
As if it’s a necessary human need
As if my world curls and breaks
While I fester through another lonely Costa afternoon

I mould at the back of the place
Keep my gaze on the peepshow outside
I see the peppy mid-twenties darlings
Their follicles in constant contact
And my heart starts to sink
I look at my skin like collapsed timber
Do the creases feel like razor blades?
Would it feel like ash if you stroked my hands?
Does every inch of my thigh feel like splinters?
When did my body start to disgust people like that?

So I plan a season finale
A fall from grace, a decent from the heavenly throne
Courtesy of Head Street
Jeered on by the stone gargoyles
With enough eyes on me
That I’ll get empathy systematically
And then maybe they’d visit me later
While I take a break in the trauma ward
And they’ll look at me and they’ll say
“I’m glad your still alive Sebastian”
That’s more vindication in a single breath
Then I bleed out from my lovers and allies
In what feels like the 3rd lap of my lifetime
Attention seeking? Why of course

What else could you possibly call it?
But am I not entitled to it?

Lnc0

☆~(✿◕w◕)~☆

I’m sorry if it’s making you uncomfortable
The way I frown through a gaping smile
I’m troubled I honestly am!
Cos it’s been a awful long while
Since you’ve crossed my windowsill
Flaunting that precious grin
I can’t stand it, it breaks me heart!
I don’t even know your name
And I’ve only caught you through 2nd hand glances
But I’m gonna change that!
I’ll get your favourite flavour milkshake
And I’ll ask you what happened?
To chase away the smile off your face?

Who did this? What was her name!?
What was she like? Why did she do that?
That sounds like it gets worse and worse…
Well what do you like? What would you want?
Where do you wanna go? Do you wanna go now?
If you wanna go with me, I’ll sweep the sadness away!

I jot down a note of all the things that make you happy
All while I try and mislead you into thinking I’m funny
I wanna pull the loose threads of your favourite jacket
Before pulling the firm threads of your sideburns
Just to antagonize you enough to instigate a playfight
So I can get my hands on that fluffy mop on your skull
And maybe you’ll let me inspect you up and down
Your eyes, your cheeks, your lips, your ears
Your chest, Your giggle, Your attempts at appearing grumpy
Oh god I love them all! They’re all on re-run in my head all day!
So please don’t feel you should hide yourself from public eyes
What on earth did we do to deserve that?
Your the best part of my daily routine!
So please don’t leave it at home

Lnc0

I’m Thinking About People I Dated Years Ago Again

Aurora reflecting pre-school shape fitting toys
Are the most cumbersome demands
A prediction of inevitability from the womb
A manuscript of bypassed pleasure at the tomb
If the remains of collision based research
Can exfoliate the grooves of my psyche
To allow the glue to poor, leak and stick
Then I’ll know all the fables articulated truths

But our portraits have turned into code
A proximity execution in a sea of padded cubicles
How likely could the dust of our erosion
Crawl into the sheets of our nostrils
The framed stone tablets always prophesied
Their colours are destined to mix in the dish tray
To be worthy of such a scenic fuchsia collaboration

Lnc0

Hate Lasts Forever

I want it to be like the old times
I want the sound of my name
To make you sick to your stomach again
To make you quake in your boots again
And to treat my confirmed sighting
Like a time bomb in your proximity
God knows what could happen when the timer goes
God knows what damage it’s gonna do again

Love and devotion comes and goes
But hatred lasts forever
You get nowhere being pleasant
Infamy has brought me nothing but immortality
Love makes me question my visibility
But malice is the uncanny proof that I’m still alive

I tried to get down on my knees
I tried to indulge in the art of worship
But they only showed me a sigh
People get bored of getting what they want
Only by taking you to Nirvana then cutting you off
Does true devotion really begin

Lnc0

If You Like Man

It’s your funeral man!
I’m not saying their aren’t perks
As you hook your talons
On the collar of my shirt
As I begin the insurmountable task
Of unlocking the my front door
While a squadron of gin and tonic
Puts it’s paws over my eyes

But you have to know right?
After the light show of glares
Like a scene from The Birds
As you gather another Rum and Cola
Those aren’t looks there for fun
Or to imply some childish jealousy
Like the landing lights of a runaway plane
They’re warning sirens

And count me among them
The demons are still there
He has a name and a face now, sure
And they even give you the means to subdue him
But he’s far from gone you know
And all it’ll take is to cross him once
And he’ll be glad to come out and play
I’m destined to break your heart, you have to know

But like I say, it’s your funeral man

Lnc0

You Have To Want To Help, Therein Lies The Problem; You Don’t

I bid them adieu
I say sayonara, au revoir
As everyone who kept close
Starts to board for smoother seas
They’ve grown so tired of my shit
They don’t have to say
Especially in the current climate
Where I take a look away as a stab in the back

It’s always a bad prophecy
Like a siern’s perish song
Any resemblance of affection
Always destined to change
Under the blood moon’s ray
Into venomous slurs and bile

I see your attention fading
A sure-fire sign
I know it’s gonna sting
So why prolong it?
I always bombard you with tragedy
Your loved ones put a price on my head
Objectively I make your life worse
So why not rip the band-aid early?
So you can avoid any guilt
I’ll just get it over with and tell you to fuck off

There’s no prayer that can save me now
I’m too deep into it now
Drop the flash grenade
And head for the hills
Cos once your marked
It’s impossible to wash it away
And it can only end in tears
Unless you really can save me
Keep an ear out for my cries
Douse the fire in my soul
But I know you’re all the same
If it’s not an obligation to domestic misery
It’s the flipside: a full-time infatuation sceptical
A much better use of your time
Then to be used on a lost soul like me
So don’t get my hopes up, stay away from me

Lnc0