Sebastian Noël –
“Premier”
“You Figure It Out”
“Convulsing Fashionable Hearts”
“Debut”
“Still Human”
“Stright From The Spastic’s Mouth”
“Text Dump”
“Talking Shit”
“vs. The Narcissists”
“The Definition Of Validated”
“Feat. A Sermon Of Slang”
“The Only One Left Alive”
It’s just the kind of world we live in
I could transcribe a perfect line portrait
But even with all the evidence and testimonies
But alliance is a fucking bitch, fucking efffooorrttt
So this recap is just for myself
Cos everyone knows it, even if they choose to forget it
But I’m struggling for the words honestly
It feels like nature at this point
The birds sing, the wind blows
And your the embodiment of evil
Your voice makes me shudder
I can stand to have you in my sight
You’ll take out anyone so you’ll stay the victim
You’ll play kids of against each other
You know your worth nothing
So you’ll beat everyone down to beyond anything
So you can stay on the top billing
And you’ll hold her grave hostage to get your way
There’s no word for a evil so concentrated
Just know I hurt myself in some way everyday
To make sure I can bleed your gene’s out of me
To remake myself in any other image
Lnc0
I’m in the wild, I’ve been seen, I’ve been admired
But it’s not enough to patch up this folding heart
Like a leopard behind the glass at the zoo
The eyes pry with no intention of crossing the panes
The smiles, the joy, the inspiration
But still in a solitary context
Boys and girls like avatars of deities
Appearing in forms mortals can hardly believe
Beautiful people as far as the eye can see
It’s enough to make a guy suicide-y
I wanna break the dividers with my bare hands
I wanna ask you every little thing
What things make up you?
What things make you so beautiful?
I want that feeling of being so hooked
Without the reality of the scope of what divides us
Every thought of the day being consumed
I’ll donate a few of the night too
Even if the road leads to a dead end
The way my heart flutters on the way defines
I just want someone to take this energy away
I just want a reason to stay alive
Boys and girls like subjects of mythology
Appearing in ways to shape our destinies
Beautiful people as far as the eye can see
It’s enough to make a guy suicide-y
I know that when night’s cloak covers this town
That’s when dividers break down
And we all revert back to animals
But the angels behind the glass from the daylight
Are nowhere to be seen, returning to the staircase above
Nothing so pure could make it as a creature of the night
We can only ever meet at arms reach away
Never to speak, never to see
If you could deliver to me ecstasy
There’s no hope for me, that definitely makes a guy suicide-y
Lnc0
A part of the ‘4 Nights Of Hell’ series
Kiss, cradle, sizzle sizzle
I can’t do anything to make you hate me
No achievement can elevate me
No enslavement makes me intimidate
I’ve lost all humanity In the gulf
The only thought that keeps me marching
Is the writhe, the pain, the agony
Taking every inch and transplanting onto you
They come in single file
I have to turn ‘em all away
Your not good enough for my scheme
You’ll hardly graze their arm with that shot
It’s really gotta get underneath their nails
The thought of us has got to cause unfathomable strain
Oh honey of course your the most beautiful thing
But it’s about more then that now
Your remorseless
Unabsolvable by any god or deity
You withdraw into the nest
Free of consequence or reaction
I wanna slip in through the cracks
Tear your bubble open
And consume you
As you see the level I’m operating at
You’ll start to feel regret
You’ll put someone above you for the first time
Just want you to feel that bullet hole
Regardless of weather or not it’s their
I just want you too feel dead
Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead
Dead Like me
Lnc0
A part of the ‘4 Nights Of Hell’ Series
Good mummys are supposed to teach their son’s nice things
How to be kind, How to fight against the bullies
But to think about how you taught me to think
Drags like paralysis of the perception
You taught me bruises where kisses
Taught me slurs are disguised love letters
Like when he strolled in and asked “why are you such a freak?
Why aren’t you outside like the normal boys!?”
I cried into your arms, you said you’d have a word
Bet you never did, did you?
He would stroll in from work the next evening
And your title changed to a punching bag
Though you moaned, you obeyed
Because he’d love you through materials and apologies
Yeah bet you proper loved that
Never mind how the spawn interpret that one ey?
Even when you left us the hypocrisy continues
Not content with just life, you deal a blow beyond the grave
On a 2 for 10 from Paperchase you leave me behind
The condescending memoirs of an ashamed parent
You ask I do what I want? Not what I can?
You tell me to break out and be more independent?
Then in the next breath tell me I’m too spastic to do so?
That I can’t get my degree and make it on my own?
“Your condition” “You did well for having your condition”
What the hell’s that supposed to mean?
And your lessons are the cause of it all
It’s those norms I embody during my weakest times
When I let the narcissist do to me what he did to you
Take me apart wire by wire, node by node
And take away everything that was anything inside of me
Install the notion that I’m no better then scum
And put me back together again like brand new
Why question it hey? It’s the only love I’ve ever known
I think of those lessons when I crave the aggression
A connection’s not real if she’s not at my throat
“Do what you can! Not what you want!”
Makes me recall the background soundtrack
To school nights spent cowering in my room
As unwashed dishes crash against the wall
Cos that’s love right? That’s totally normal right?
Letting someone call you an embarrassment?
I think of those lessons at the end of drunken nights
When I keep my mouth shut and let it go
Even after telling her I want to stop
And her legs tighten around me
With no intention of release
And she says “A real man would keep going”
“Without complaining, without consent”
Cos no matter what they do they still love you right?
No matter how deep the cut, it’s out of love right?
Does this sound a little psychotic to you?
To be beaten, trashed and violated
And take it all with a smile and a step?
Well mummy dearest I learnt it all from you!
It’s all your fucking fault
All of it leads back to you
You killed me inside before I even began
I hate you so much, but I’d never let it on
Cos they’ve all made you untouchable
“Poor little saint, taken from us too early”
Not early enough, I’m glad your finally gone
Cos where you are now, you can’t hurt me anymore
It’s gonna take me an age or two
To unlearn all the things you taught me
But I’ll come out the other side better
And I’ll teach myself, to love thyself, for the first time
Lnc0
No one’s allright are they?
Loving stares into the pine
Hit me with another JD shot
I’m so fucking bored
The kids are all so bored
Get anything inside me
To transmogrify this monotony
Into the start of my next biography
We’re all so frozen
Trapped in the clay that’s made us
But we wall want to feel it
The hooks of kinship
The drug of romance
But we’re just ourselves
So I’ll take another pint
And take my soldiers by the hands
It might not be what we want
But it’s what we asked for
Greeting Monday mornings shift
2 fingers to the sun
2 of our most treasured fingers to the sun
But we’ll be allright
You’re all so beautiful
You’re all the paradigm of youth
The path is long
But it’ll fly past
Especially once you get running
But it’s the wait
Oh god how it’s the wait
So raise your poison
And piss all the time away
We’ll be allright won’t we?
Yeah we’ll be allright
Lnc0
From the ‘4 Nights Of Hell’ series
“Nice jacket”
As another hometown special flies down the gullet
Dictated by the throw of the die or the deal of the hand
I told ‘em “I need release, from the ails of the week”
“Ales you say!” as my glass is miraculously refilled
A few “I learned this from Leeds” cocktails get rationed out
As more of my best brothers and sisters add to the roster
“Hey I really like your jacket”
We ride the hearse into the roosters den
I feel like an Infant as I take my first steps on the pavement
What a life this is; objectively
We kick down the portcullis into the snake pit
“Dude that’s a sweet jacket”
As we screech an echo as “Can’t stand me now” hits the deck
Like the traveling karaoke no one asked for
We migrate to the garden of Eden
“Gotta say, you really suit that jacket”
Recounting the weeks fables like fisherman’s tales
I say “I tell you again I need some release
Feels like a canines life time I’ve been on the phone
Juggling referrals and appointments like they’re my kids
I don’t really know what that means, but I need to unwind”
As my moan comes to a close I swear I saw my future skirt by
We spoke standing on the pillars of artistic expression
I said “Your right no one talks about ideas anymore”
She said something about my jacket
Just as the chains on our hearts grew tighter and tighter
Lightning must’ve struck, cos in a flash she’s gone
Did anyone see where she went!?
Shitting fuck son of a twatting cunt!
Oh well, only takes a Kraken and coke later
And we’re screeching indie anthems again
“You gotta tell me, where’d you get that jacket?”
What a life this is; objectively
Better then what’s to come next
As we enter that foulest domain
Where decaying dregs cling onto their youth
By crying out 90’s throwaways
The kind you’d be embarrassed to tell your kids you remembered
At least another apple of my eye’s come into view
And she’s fawning for my attention
But in the most serial killer way
As her friend jostles my shoulders
Pushing me her way, as she turns her head
Flag’s raise until a sea of rouge covers the dance floor
She stays away, but continues to stare
I was never a man to cave to peer pressure
Never one to play the “Hard to get game”
Was I expected to? Just cos I’m a man?
And that’s what the sliver screen says we should do?
I’m a diamond in a Pog collection
If you want a part of me, you gotta reach out and get it
Am I not entitled to feel like a prize too?
Right now I feel like a Minotaur in a zoo
I take my brothers and sisters and vacate
I’m a glorious human before biology
What a life this is; objectively
We end on the soil, where all life began
And compare notes on this weeks crawl
Things can be shit indeed
But your putting the world to rights
Underneath the glistening sky
Y’know things really are allright?
And they’re right; This is a NICE jacket
So that’s allright
What a life this is; objectively
Lnc0
A part of the “4 Nights Of Hell” series
My adoring public
I can hear your calls loud and clear
And I promise I got all your nice letters and gifts
But something ain’t sitting quite right with me
I’m standing here in a coat of saliva
Reflecting of the strobe lights, the jazzy sonics
But the brain doesn’t feel any less at ease
The cancer of isolation is slowly taking it away
Cos I’m running on empty this night
And I dunno what it is I really need
Can I find the elation that only company can provide?
Can I find the worth to which only praise can comply?
Maybe the silhouettes shaking in the smog can set me free?
As one snaps back into reality and approaches me
She moves through the night like smoke
Pins me to the wall gagging for life like monoxide
Pythons running through my shirt
While she barks through forked tongues
The haze of your 5th rum intake
Translates the howls and barks more colloquially
“I want every atom and line of code
That created your being, all the time, every time”
But when your soul starts to radiate
As soon as you unleash the locks from your jaws
Will it decay the budding rose
Will your verse turn into pesticide?
Her claws try to relax the buttons of your jeans
But does she really care about what’s inside?
You defragment and collect yourself in another scene
But try as you might you can’t escape it
The eyes undress you, they molest you
They grow in numbers as they surround you
Your so beautiful, the most prettiest thing they’ve seen
But your just beautiful, just the prettiest thing
And the panic starts to set in
The anxiety really starts to rev up
You dunno what it was you ever wanted
But you’ll never find it here
You die inside, you just want to cry
Your soul starts to quiver and freeze
What is that you’ve done?
Do you really even know?
Lnc0
From The ‘4 Nights Of Hell’ Series
I still think I’m going to get married to you one day
As all the onlookers gaze with smug interpretations on their face
As if they could see everything 5 moves ahead
Maybe I can give them a little ask from years from the past
Cos I just wanna tell you, how much flows on the inside
Everytime life deals yourself on my plate
No matter how much fortification we erect around ourselves
We can’t ignore the life force we surge into ourselves
I’d give up any future that was guaranteed for me
To shatter the glass barricades for only a day
That glass I know has to be shattered one day, a mere delay
So I can one day tell you their’s no amount of time I can wait
Your still the only one who can breath the life veins into me
Reverse this petrified heart of mine and see
I’m in and out with the world’s pallet
And lord knows I tried, I tried so hard
To get them to understand my heart
Get them to flow into me
But try as I might there’s nothing I can do
I just can’t love anyone as much as I loved you
I can be good, I can be everything
I can be anything, I can be nothing
I can be all you want, I can be your blood,
I can be your soul and beat through and through
Cos I don’t love anyone at all
At least nowhere as much as I love you
But I know I won’t get married to you one day
There’ll be no satisfied theorist to give us away
I know I’ll be no good, I know I’ve never been good
Cos it’s gotta be him, never me and you
Lnc0
From the ‘The 4 Nights Of Hell’ series
————————————————————————–
Little extra backstroy on this one, this poem was less written more ‘found’ on my hardrive, I must’ve written this while drunk at the end of a night out, at the start of the 4 nights these next few poems will be based around, thought I did punctuation and spelling corrections, I didn’t change anything, this is just what I wrote and it’s so sad to know there’s a part of me that’s hurting this bad
You can hear them praying now
When cracks appear on their rose tinted lens
“Why can’t girls around her be nicer!?”
Written on the slip in their right hand
With a rum and coke in the left
But taste the salt in their tears
When Principalities do descend from above
They’re nicer, they show you boys grace
But that can never change the fundamentals
That the divine are destined to abandon the sinners
God bless the angels, that only serve to aggravate
No amount of divinity can change
A tight locked schedule for the planet
Rapture’s right around the corner
What’s a poor Cherubim supposed to do?
Too nice to tighten the grip on his heart
Knowing it has to loosen someday
Too nice to indulge his curiosities
When accession’s clearly off the cards
That’s the epitome of kindness
That’s the meaning of courtesy
But clearly they’ve missed the memo of that one
Cos all it does is piss a heathen off
So god bless the angels, that only serve to aggravate
Lnc0
Domestic Poetry 