Paranoid Patty: So’ (Demo)

You represent an impossible world
You represent queerness unchallenged
You represent benefit from fulfilment
You represent a vacuum on my bedside

A smile and a stroke on the back
That’ll never come to fruition
But in the domain of the cognitive
Is that such a tragedy?
Cos in this universe for my eyes only
You never left my side
Cos in this universe confined to my room
You never left my side

One day
Sophie
You’ll be real
Yeah, one day soon…

I’ve not left the bed in 4 days
But I’m not alone
I’m talking to no reply
But I’m not paranoid
You wake me up at dawn
But you’re not trouble
They’re adamant you don’t exist
But I see more of you than I do of them

While my friends betray their attendance
With deafening silence
You suggest we get the Domino’s in
To salvage a miserable Monday
While my lovers back up their well-wishes
With complete absence
You were waking up next to me
Watching Saturday morning cartoons in bed

It breaks me when I act out of script
And my hand passes through your breast
The illusion comes crashing down
From where ever your projection originates
I’d surrender all my blood and flesh
To give you form in this world

If the Blue Fairy decides to empathize
Then the dimensional barriers could evaporate
Your arms would fill up my palms
As you fell from fiction
You’d speak to me on the fly
No preemptive, no choreography
What could I even say back to you?
The language hasn’t been established
To do the wash of emotions justice
But quote me on this: it’s only a matter of time

Yeah, one day
Sophie
You’re gonna be real
It’s just a matter of time…

–A ‘demo’ of the Paranoid Patty poetry set/book–

Sebastian Noël

They Call Me Yggdrasil

The drunks and the socialites, they call me Yggdrasil
As my vines soak up another Broadside
Your back to the wall is the best vantage point
You can’t keep tabs on the tigers as they patrol the pine
They smile and purr as they mark your arms
But each and everyone hides a torch behind their backs
Their eyes like fireflies as they sway in the dark
And I don’t think I get away from any danger
They say 23 is in the prime of youth
Then why is the bark peeling of my skin
More and more of my face is being left behind
And I don’t think my denizens recognize me anymore
The only curse I’m under is my inability to lie
I see my brethren wipe clay on the pours and call it skin
But I’m not ready to succumb to the mould
I refuse to accept I wasted my youth in southern comforts
There’s so many camellias.and lotuses I can add to my branch
So please tell me the face I have to wear, so I can get there
And maybe you’ll obstruct my path again
You possess many forms but I know you’re the same mind
Then you wrap yourself around my roots
And your soul secretes that gorgeous lilac haze
This time I won’t leech your life away, to fuel mine
I’ll let you exert pressure and rip me out of the soil
Cos we’re the polar opposites of our nature
While my body remains, my soul continuously changed
So I hope when you peel back the oak
You can find comfort in whatever you find

Lnc0

Tonight Luke Switzer DIES!

I’ve got you on the ropes now
Naked, bruised and begging for your life
I can’t believe after everything the time has come!
Tonight’s the night I come and take your life

It makes me ill to look at your face
Honestly I don’t even recognise you anymore
Let alone associate your actions with my own
You’ve hurt so many people as an ignorant brat
You let so many loves of your life walk away
It’s going feel so fucking good when I snuff out your life

Your father thinks you a buffoon
Discouraged your uni dreams knowing your to stupid
Your mother thought you a glass cannon
Destined for the destruction of all things, especially yourself
She even put it in scribe lest you forget even after she’s gone
And you know what? They weren’t wrong
You’re a toxic failure, contaminating everything you let down
So you see? No one will miss you when I steal your life

Oh god I’m so excited, I can’t contain it!
I dunno if I can keep the belt on my jeans
Cos It’s been a long time coming
Now I’m hear to take you out!
Yes tonight will be the night
Where the pathetic, selfish, useless, decaying
Failure of a man Luke Switzer dies
And the charismatic, talented, determined, beautiful
And essex’s greatest lover: Sebastian Noël will rise
And not just temporarily this time

Lnc0

Failed Integration

Dear diary, it happened again
Society has shown me the back of it’s hand
And all I tried to do was coexist
Dear diary, it happened again
Society has spat on my brand new shoes
And all I tried to do was understand it

I tried to let my guard down again today
Attempting to slowly peel away
The years of perfecting the perfect persona
But like a moth to flame I never learn
I have no idea what it is I did
Now they’ve illuminated me with their bright red glares
It’s time to slink back away to the drawing board
And stitch together a new persona all over again

Do you see the bloody towels?
And the birthday gifts gathering dust?
That’s what’s left of your last attempt
To integrating with the everyfolk
An animal can only learn to mimic human mannerisms
No matter how convincing the mask and the dance
They can see right through you like jelly
The closer you get the harsher the kickback

Dear diary, it happened again
Society has shown me the back of it’s hand
And all I tried to do was not get in the way
Dear diary, it happened again
Society has spat on my brand new shoes
And all I tried to do was ask why it had to be this way

I’m all out of fight, I submit to your will
Just tell me what it is you want me to do
I’ll sit gag, bound and tied up by the hands
And you can pick me up by the strings
And make me act like everyone else
The type of person people are glad to see
A version of me that wasn’t born in this defective way
Maybe it’ll make them happy
Maybe it’ll make me happy…

*Written For National Poetry Month – 22/30*