Can’t Switch It Off

Oh I can’t switch it off no more
Logged off but I can’t switch it off
Hands over my ears but I can’t switch it off
No matter where I am I can’t switch it off anymore

How I supposed to switch it off now?
When every atom belong to every form of life
Is poised to guarantee my demise
They wanna see my gasping for my life
It sleeps in every god damn person alive
So why on the fuck would I ever switch it off?

I’m supposed to just switch it off?
Repress it all and happily play patty cake?
With my fellow man, when all the evidence
Points to that they can’t be reasoned with
Anecdotal, Historical, Psychological take your pick
It all shows the hands get thrown with a guarantee
The moment naïveté infects your common sense
And you get the feeling you can switch it off

How the fuck am I supposed to switch it off?
Logged off but how am I meant to switch it off?
Hands over my eyes but I can’t just switch it off!
No one like me made this far by switching it off

Behind every smile hides a killer, so hell no am I switching it off
Just so they can slug behind me under the guise of tolerance
And they decide at the drop to switch it off permanently
So never switch that shit off, take it from me
Don’t trust any fuck under any circumstances
Less you wanna add to another statistic
That spreads the melancholy to a wider range
You keep that shit switch ON. Till your days stop.

Sebastian Noël

Logical

The sins of my ancestors become the sins of the now,
When my tongues honed where it could clash with a katana.
But my targets are the ones who pat me on the back,
Naturally the usual response to that is a stab in the back.

He opens up his chest and I’m straight on the defence,
What the fuck does he mean when he says that?
Is he trying to brush my pain aside to make a point?
He says “I mean it’s not like how you go through it.”
The fact he didn’t take a decade to proof read every sentence,
That can only be a slight against me, perfect and precise.
So how about I take my drink and show him 2 fingers,
The most logical course of action to that.

He scratches the record to a screeching halt,
“What the fuck’s the matter?” He intervenes.
I wanna tell him how’s he’s not seeing me,
But who on the earth is seeing me,
If me hasn’t been me for this long,
Are they even me, is me even me anymore?
“I dunno.” As I stall for for some amount of time.
He came to this war with a bouquet and I still grazed him.

That’s the catch 22; I’m not seeing him,
A few Thyroids short and I’m not seeing anyone.
I’m seeing words and phrases that I’m trying to recognise,
Clutching my bug-net looking for the bogeyman.
THERE! I know someone who talked to me like that,
A past abuser from a eon gone by.
You thought that’d one would slip by me?
“What have I done to be suspicious?” He asks.
What you’ve done? Well you’ve done nothing,
But everyone at one point done nothing,
Until they start to do something,
And out of nowhere they’ve done everything.

Burn a bridge on a hunch,
Carjack your heart out on a probably,
I’m so dependant on the kindness of others,
While still backed up against the wall.
When a scratch goes down like decapitation,
You can’t take any chances on that.
Treat my company like a rental,
One wrong move it’s revoked from you.
“How can I be expected to love someone
Whose hand is always circling the eject button?”
Like I dunno man, but what’s the alternative?
Cos I’m getting too old to nurse another wound,
When it’s week 2 chained to my bedroom,
Keeping my psyche together with PV glue,
As yet another chance to succeed is doomed.
Another degree flies on by, another career down the drain,
The hand outs will stop, and I’ll be marking my grave.

– Sebastian Noël (For Mental Health Awareness Week)

Para-para

I could use baseless devotion right now
Now now then ever before
The maps looking coffee stained and creased
With any beauty thriving among the microscopic

The visuals that usually remain exclusive
To a panic attacked backed up by 5 shots of rum
Are starting to bleed into the everyday
As towering bricks and steel start to melt
And the colour pours in between my toes
While citizens turn into goblins and creeps
I dunno what they are, what they’re thinking
Did they rob my future from me as a joke too?

Oh snapshot’s where are you?
The one’s you go back through on nostalgia trips
Remembering even the scents and feelings
Of a lazy summer by the riverbank
It’s as sickeningly sweet as it sounds
The kind of days that make you second take
At the Petri dish we all call a country
The perfectness of it makes me start to gag
Cos my body rejects such a sugary memory
After a diet of cardboard and grit
And an ever fading vision
I dunno if I can go back to comfort

Waking up in our clothes at the house party
The shared whipped cream on the nose
The Clinton card gestures: Forever immortalised
These are the things to keep life okay

Sebastian Noël

Paranoia Blues

Be it the oxygen count or the chemtrails in my tea
But the paranoia’s creeping above it’s climax
I could regulate with mental stimuli any day you like
Except today’s the day I met the love of my life

Constantly wrestling with the grit in her teeth
An attitude as rotten as summers milk on xmas
Stenched with a coalition of an underbellies delight
Everything I could ask for in a lovers highlight

She brings me over to ask for the time
While surrounded by Dahli’s Compilation
There’s been no excuse weaker, adorably see through
She takes my paw to administer a mixtape disco
Each drip of audio more familiar then the last
Bit-crushes her sways into technicolour video

Her whispers hints
Her yelps imply
And by the time we’re collapsed on someone’s acre
Met by the silver lined abstract above
Her confession reveals all
As we make physical calculations
She wraps around any semblance of form
Tells me she never wants to orbit another
Ah if only I wasn’t convinced it was all a lie

Is there any interaction as misleading as conversation
Everyone’s carrying a hunger on their backs
Everyone’s got a profit margin to hit
All in my packs is a lump of scars
So even when my love peeps into my eyes
The only conclusion present; is that it’s all a lie

Lnc0