An Innocent Enquiry

168 hours feels just like a few minutes
Spent staring at the hieroglyphics on a plastered wall
Laying with the company of plates of unfinished dinners
Tea stains on the bed, sauce stains on my shirts
Seeing the opportunity to cleanse their karma
People came and went and recited lines
From a prepared scripted emulating admiration
That was never there back when the woman took in air

I was still clutching my hands to that old DS
Bruising of the D-Pad etched into my fingers
Still on the same save file as I was that week
I never averted my eyes from the display
I couldn’t bare the images of them carrying you out
To be scarred into my mind every time I look at the stairs
I couldn’t bare the thought of acknowledging this
As the world outside this screen, with the way things are

They wanted me to come back to the world of outside
But what wonders could possibly be out there now?
I hear the moans of the spoilt lobe stretched army
Caressing the creases of a spare 10 pound note
When the anniversaries of their mothers birth rolled around
They don’t know what it is they really have

I hear boring boys prepared to put there lives on the line
All for the vine, for the retweet, for the reblog
They want to make there families feel how I feel now
They don’t know what it is they’re really doing
I hear the cries of distressed souls bleeding from their hearts
Playing roulette with the choice of life or the choice of death
The kinds of choices people have taken out of their cold hands
They don’t know what it is they’re throwing away

Even when you came back to class
We couldn’t help but notice an absence
What happened to the boy we used to know?
Who was this corpse that now carries your name?
We asked why it was you never spoke anymore
We wondered why you weren’t as funny as you used to be
You couldn’t even muster the will to crack a smile
Let alone crack a joke

Only the few of us that had the nerve to gossip knew
While collecting scraps of the article you left behind
Oh we didn’t know what we were saying to you
What could we say to a boy like you?
You carried yourself between the corridors
Like you were being carried by the breeze
Your body may have been alongside us
But I don’t think you were ever really there

As Preformed By Domestic

– Lnc0

No You’re Right, Danny’s Just Moaning

To tell you the truth romance is just the easiest route
So that Danny can feed his hysteria the diet it needs
The voices that used to guide him have gone mute
He’s a scared little boy lost in London
Under the cover of darkness, eyes blindfolded
As the tarmac behind him starts to collapse
You better chart your own course Danny
Straighten up and fly right on pure guess work

Danny’s like a dog looking into the restaurant
Seeing Natasha and Benni share a vodka and coke
Danny starts to feel a twinge In his chest
Angus tells him to stop moaning and man up
Danny hears Terry complain about Mothers Day
Kerry runs off to V Bar without saying goodbye
Danny just wants someone to talk too
Johnny rings his dad from the pavement for a lift back

You see all Danny wants someone to come up from behind
Lock their fingers around his chest from behind
And to tell him that there’s no need to fear the silence
To tell him everything’s fine like a good mummy should
To tell him that they’re proud like a good daddy should
Henry just wants a bitch to suck him off
Henry sneaks out back, but he won’t be alone

Oh Danny would love to see if they could cope any better:
If they couldn’t ask mummy to raise that ego
If they couldn’t ask daddy to close the wound
And their cries left unanswered as the bounce of the walls

Danny wonders out into fields of green
Clutching his last can of Stella
Danny collapses outside his mothers grave
Before he drifts into another world
He quietly utters the following words:
“Where’s my mummy tonight?
I just want to hold her tight”
and with that Danny eyes start to close

*Written For National Poetry Month 15/30*

26/03/06 > 03/04/10

I sit in the aftermath of a rotten moment 
Bathed in the darkness of modern designs 
Head perched in hands my mind fades back 
And I move my head to your direction 

I could swallow domestic sadness on any other day 
But on the eve of parental celebration I do struggle 
The guest of honour was never expected to show 
It still seems impossibly so 

I’m sorry I never think of you, as much as I should 
But I never had the heart to do so before 
Somehow if I tilt my head towards the heavens 
I think my words reach you, where ever they go 

I’m sorry I never speak to you, as much as I should do 
It’s not as if I couldn’t speak about you 
I’m sorry I moved on too fast, the others needed me too 
Stability is the only thing I could do 
I’m sorry if I kept it all to myself, no one would see me through 
To be a burden is something I won’t do 
I’m sorry if this all isn’t needed, but I felt I had too 
On the eve on a day dedicated to you 

I’m sorry for the sharpness of my tongue; I pardon myself for my French
I’m sorry for the distance I keep; I know you wouldn’t agree with it 
I’m sorry for my wild instincts, your furniture deserves better 
Even if you can’t hear, I feel I should’ve still 
There’s still a while to go, I still couldn’t do you wrong 
I only hope 

I’m sorry for every time for the times, I’ve moped about all day 
I know you’d kick me for acting that way 
I’m sorry for how I tired to soften the blow, and kept you away
I just wouldn’t know what else to say 
And I’m sorry it took so long, for even through song to say 
As we slowly approach the month of may 
This is the last time I’ll use you now, to vent my selfish ways 
I promise next time we’ll talk on a good day 

I’m sorry for the sharpness of my tongue; I pardon myself for my French
I’m sorry for the distance I keep; I know you wouldn’t agree with it 
I’m sorry for my wild instincts, your furniture deserves better 
Even if you can’t hear, I feel I should’ve still 
There’s still a while to go, I still couldn’t do you wrong 
I only hope, I don’t disappoint you anymore 

Just cos I never came through till the end 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I forgot to call you back when I was out 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I locked myself upstairs and refuse to come out 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I freeze at the sight of tears 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I stayed downstairs when I heard you moan 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I didn’t cry when it was all over 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I saw that smile on your passing face 
I knew you finally found peace 
And when I grinned after I left your room 
But it was only cos I loved you

Dedicated to ma’