Asmodeus: Dopamine

Yeah Asmodeus got me
Running low on heart
Colours fading, Soul draining
Yeah Asmodeus got me good
The meds I’m on ain’t got me
The Xan ain’t got me
Yeah Asmodeus got me tho
When facing the void, all out of ammo

I hate I’m so reliant on it
I hate that it’s ‘need’ as well as ‘want’
But man I need that kinetic energy
I need the blinds down and the lights on
I need to see to believe what I’m feeling
I’m just so reliant on it
I live for a glimpse of the view
A shot so perfect, you’d swear someone was directing us
As my clothes falls down your chest with diamond precision
Oh Asmodeus got me good
I feel your outline
But nothings convinces me this is real
The idea of you being here feels factious
I hate that I’m reliant to your touch
Cos Asmodeus has got me on watch
He allows the dopamine to return to my brain
And until the next display for his grace
He’ll withhold it yet again

Oh yes Cos I remember the punishment
When my heart belonged to no one
And life hit you with the dry spell
He shows no mercy
An element most demonic crawls into my mind
The mood takes a cataclysmic impact
I’m talking terminal velocity to concrete shit
My grasp on reality falters
Hallucinations become commonplace
Interaction becomes torture
Life starts to stagnate
Death becomes a thrill
He could stop it anytime he wanted
Click his fingers or give the order
But he demands tribute
Not resources wasted on life who can’t provide it
Oh he got me good
Hands shaking, brow sweating
Oh he got me good
Heavy breathing, vision going
Oh he got me good
Nothing feels, everything hurts, oh he knows
The morning whisky shot
The kitchen knife calling for blood
Oh he knows, oh he knows
Asmodeus got me good
Vice grip on my soul, ain’t gonna let go
I hate I’m so reliant on it
I hate I’m so indebted to him
Yeah, Asmodeus got me good

Sebastian Noël

Milkshake

Milkshaaaake
The only way to start the day
A spike of vanilla on the Tuesday
A burst of strawberry on the following day
The hints of honeycomb in my molars
During Thursdays Crunchie special

Milkshaaaaaake
Me and the Bea and the Shake
Chillin’ on the park as the sun goes down
Looking into her mocha eyes, straw in mouth
Never wanting this moment to end
And when it does I’ll go back to Shake Away
Then I’ll get another one

Milkshaaaaaaaake
It’s always on my mind
Oh lawrdy now I’m craving
If I lay you down back at mine
And serve you up the triple pop
Will you give me your spare change
So I can afford a Baked Alaska?

Milshaaaaake
The only reason to live
Spread it on your cornflakes
Use it as your bathwater
Inject it into your medicine
Guzzle a litre on the pavement
No matter what happens
No matter what gets taken away
They can never take away your Milkshake
Smeared all over your mouth

– Lnc0

If Kisses Mattered

My friend, we may of been allies for passing upon passing of the sun
But you shouldn’t dare shoot me a look like that in front of the cheese scones
While I unveil another tale of a romantic exploit crashing into the bushes
The way you tell me to stop pushing for 200mph on the first lap
It takes me back to an era long lost where kisses weren’t just a method
To escalate to sensual liberation but actually meant a damn all on their own

So I decide to try and spread it like the last of the butter
That’s trying to cater to a breakfast meant for 4
It may last for longer but it don’t taste nearly as sweet anymore
And that’s not even accounting the distortion in the mirrors image
The plates of my skin start to crack from my fingers like bark
Little quirks in my speech became foghorns, coughs became gunshots
When you started at me from the edge of your bed, and turned away
A ravine of sludge leaking from openings must’ve been all you could see
It’s only way my mind could make sense of things
As each passing day went us by, that we went untouched

And now I’m left here like a chorus with no subtext
I just want you to open my pores and give me context
I could be risking another wreckage for sure
But to risk censoring myself is a fate far worse
I want to lock our psyches by the pinky fingers
So while our keisters share a plot of cobble stone
Outside of a treasure map destination
I bleat a plea in a soft frequency into your ears

“Oh lady it’s just lately I’ve been feelin’ real ugly
So hook me by the folds of my skin and embrace me”

It Ain’t Easy Being Sleezey

Oh now don’t be like that my love
You don’t have to let me down with a face like that
I know that you’ve heard my echoes
Bounce off the walls of your social circle
And like a Kitten curious about it’s new home
You wandered what could’ve made your friends
Make such haunting noises into the night
You just wanted to get your hands dirty
You just wanted to feel the same things pass through your body
In the middle of a blank diary limbo
I think anyone would’ve done the same

Come now don’t be like that my dear
You don’t have to leave with your stomach lurched like that
It’s a challenge to get any rush out of life these days
Faced with a plethora of roads
And no single idea what direction to take
Just a couple of nights to feel like a god
Like you have complete control of your life for once
Trust me I understand the appeal
And while I might be on a hunt for a queen
Who’s to say I couldn’t caress an ego or to on the way?

*Written For National Poetry Month – 20/30*

It’s Hard To Watch People Squirm

Slumped with your pelvis pointing to the heavens
On a forgotten park bench underneath an oaks slouch
Caressed by the fog on a humid spring afternoon
I spot a familiar wince to trigger the mist in your eyes

There isn’t a grimoire in the land that could scratch the surface
Of the inner workings of the roulette wheel in your head
The one that decides how your going to see the world today
The one that despite all the drugs, steals control from your hands

Oh but I know that dice roll all to well
I was born with the same game of chance in my cortex
All I ever wanted was to let you know someone understands
I just wanted you walk the streets with a smile again

It was never an intention to be a pylon in your path
I just hoped maybe It’d steer you away from any more aches
But you just plough through me at top gear, as if I wasn’t there
Just to make your way to the next pothole to fall down

Oh how it ties my gut into a Shroud knot
When I see you shriek in pain from your pedestal
It’s an impulse to feel a twinge of guilt
Maybe I could’ve taken the bullet you aimed at your head?

What do I have to do to get your attention?
What do I have to do to not receive the palm of your hand?
I can’t be your distributor of impulses on the side
Is that all I could be for you to listen to me?

I never ment to make you cry
To make you lose your mind under the street lights
I just wanted to see these things though
I didn’t want leave you alone without knowing I tried

*Written For National Poetry Month – 16/30*

The Valentine No Show (W.I.P)

My eyes they dry like a Sunday morning washing line
My lungs press together with a vice of your presence
I’m struggling to stay alive, just walking to your door
The body’s willing but their’s no air
I’m gasping on the floor it’s to much to bare!
The grip on my fingertips is starting to weaken
The choke on my glands is getting righter
The blood in my hands is getting thinner

But the thrill of young lovers can be deceiving indeed
We met both strategically clad in our battle armour
Ready to wage war like a DVD cover of a 80’s road flick
And yet we act like business men, handing out contact details
To arrange a transaction which we feel could benefit our brands
While you tend to your needs, I’ll play happy couples

I think it’s easy to claim you’d lay in wait on my sofa
On the frost bitten evenings, to stroke my scalp
To unplug the scalelectrix whirling around in my brain
When i’m tracing the stairway to heaven on your navel
And sending your eyes away to the back of your skull
If I held it all for ransom, would you still come back to help me?

I’ll allways be your best man, the one your ashamed to admit
That you think about when your future homeowner misses the mark
But you can never be anymore then a charity case to me girl
As I sit starting at the walls on the hill of the roller-coaster
Where will you be when I howl into the night asking for your love?
Would you be anywhere if I couldn’t offer a surge in return?
Would you be somewhere else when someone can do it better?
I know you wouldn’t my sweet, and I know that’s your right

Looks like I won’t be seeing around this St. Valentines
I know I wouldn’t, and I know that’s your bloody right

I Can Show You, What He Could Never Give You (W.I.P)

My fists clench with a force to crush diamonds themselves
When I hear that testimony utter from your lips
Could it really be so, during the age of information?
That inexperienced young minds could confuse that for love?
When he picks apart petrol station oaks to commemorate a landmark
When he leaves you frowning on the mattress on valentine nights
When he keeps positive vocabulary for ransom to keep you on his level
It’s gonna be a while till I pick my jaw from the floor

Oh my sherbet clad confectionery delight
Just itching to be taken home from the seaside stand
I’m not here to lug my bottom on cider stained leather
Advertising my self, by reading you my credentials
Point out every young pretty thing standing at the bar
Whom I’ve seen the very joints in their cheeks come apart
As they attempt to articulate the serge of electrons
I’ve conducted through their very forms
That would be rather crass of me to say here and now

I want you to take a shot into the unknown
I want you to open the ribs in your chest
To take a chance on the unfamiliar
To open your eyes to a world past a single body
Did he ever run his fingers through your hair?
Did he ever scrape his jaw against your neck?
To get the engines to warm up?
To get you in the mindset to make the offer yourself?

I doubt he had neither the time nor the care honey
Scrubbed the plaque of his choppers in math class
And left you for dead underneath his desk
That’s not love dear, that’s being picked apart by the wolves
I can bow down at your feet, the second I see your shadow cast
I wouldn’t just get the feeling back in your feet
I can make sure the feeling pours from your very sockets
You just don’t know it yet my princess

The Beast Inside

If it starts with a weakend roar
As the alpha wearing the shorts round the ankles look
Bellowing in a cesspool of bile
I dread to imagine where it ends
All of the repressed mistresses
Throw all blame to fermented fruits
All in an exuse too release…

The beast inside

The balence becomes obvious at this point
Feed the Jugheads another cup of piss
Shifting knees and bitten lips
Suggest you might need to feed her too
But not before our main event
Get their puppet strings in a knott
Sit back and enjoy the show
How could they ever quell…

The beast inside?

Just one more, I sware one more
Not untill it feels like i’m in a cyclone
As I take one last sip from my straw
I notice you notice me notice that
I can’t stand this heat no more
Close the windows, follow my lead
I known it’s early on but…

The beast it calls

Salivating

Oh my brown eye’d princess
My silky haired goddess
My immortalized queen
What could I ever do
To grab that spotlight away from you?

I see the dogs, the jackals
Circulate you, with their tongues out
They just want to stick their claws in you
Bruise that perfect form of yours
They could never appreciate
How your flesh forms around the palm of my hand
When I nurture you with my grip
Not like I can baby
They say they love you
But only in body and never in spirit
Not like I do baby

If only you could see me
While I twirl my index finger
Around the pixels of my screen
That only capture fractions of your majesty
Oh my little girl
What have you done to me?
I used to be so proper, so proud
Now I’m salivating at my screen
Trying to simulate how you’d make me feel
When you’d be laying on my hotel bed
Beckoning me with them gemstones
That lesser folk would call eyes

Oh babe, what do I have to do?
For the chance to introduce
My visage onto you?
I would start a patrol
Outside of your home
For a chance to bump into you
I’ll change my preferences
I’ll destroy my morals
And watch what you watch
Listen to what you listen to
Hate that which you hate
Just so we’d have something
To talk about

Oh baby I’d do anything
To smell the scent of your sweat
Radiating from the glands of your thighs
Clinging onto the hairs of my nostrils
Oh baby I’d do anything
To feel the cracks of your skin
With the base of my tongue
While savoring every flavor
Oh baby I’d do anything
To bare the feeling of your hands
Of the electricity that your fingers transmit
As they skim down my base
Oh baby what must I do?