Recollection (Prelude)

I’ve known guilt and then I’ve KNOWN guilt
But I couldn’t even begin to put the term into human tongue
When you tap my back, in the middle of 90’s britpop chants
And you greet me holding a gargantuan tome
Containing your photographic memory
Try as you might to rekindle a recollection within me
As you recall the times we strolled down your road arm in arm
I hate to break your heart twice over but it only brings static

I couldn’t say I have the foggiest
I don’t remember being enamoured with your frame before
Walking down abandoned docks, eating white chocolate magnums
Was that with you? With the blue bow and dolly shoes?
I can’t think of a face nor a name
Did we kiss by Dr.Chippys? Did we make love after the fireworks show?
Did you ever lie to me that Ollie Sykes could sing, by the river?
My pockets are overflowing with snapshots, but nothing to connect them

I’ll just have to take your word for it
Guide me with your palms and make me recall

*Written For National Poetry Month – 11/30*

Can A Life Be Well Lived?

Deep within the recesses of tonight’s summer dream I say
“Don’t looks some glum honey it’s better this way”
As you clutch your cyan tinted suitcase
While boarding the 7:12 to London Liverpool Street
My absence in your life in but a small price to pay
To ensure you can touch the stars you lust for at night

Yet in reality: I see girls discarding away dreams and ideas
Like a pile of first drafts overflowing from a bin
All because of that funny look their boy gives them
When they dare try to make a move in his presence
That may kick him of the top dollar spot on the throne
To die so submissively it breaks my heart

And yet even in a world where I can have anything
I’ll still let you go to makes sure you can have everything

And yet when I awake at the rise of tomorrows sun
I’ll be having breakfast alone again

I don’t think a life can be well lived
At least unless lived on your own

*Written For National Poetry Month – 10/30*

The New Life

To throw away old childhood heirlooms
Those cob webbed covered conduits of nostalgia
Into the incinerator never to act as the gateway again

That’s exactly what your demanding
When you hold out your hand by the garden entrance
To pull me away from another month spent reminiscing

But what of all the loose ends?
The stories left unfinished like a figurine catalogue
My fair murderer she’ll be left wandering in the crib

Oh what concern is it of yours?
If they want to pacify themselves on old dish water
In the face of the new life

I’ve grown soft from the old life
Where once stood armour lies a one street to my heart
That’s before I consider all the new information fed to me

Different names to scream
During the tail end of the journey to the north street light
And to express gratitude to midst a flood of impulses

Different wounds to lick
When the horns sound from the capital signifying their boredom
It’s reached it’s peak before I could even get used to their pillows

Oh what concern is it of yours?
If they want to pacify themselves on week old cherryade
In the wake of the new life

*Written For National Poetry Month – 9/30*

Read the epilogue to this poem here:
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/84360470482/the-new-life-epilogue

Our Activity

The clock strikes around 40 minutes past 4
And so comes to end another shift as the canvas
For comrades to project their insecurities onto
Being born with a flawed blueprint, it’s the perfect excuse
Oh lucky me I’m to be greeted with an offering of h2o
Delivered from the heavens above personally

I know it sounds surreal, but their was something sweet
About being greeted with the biggest smile
Clutching your brand new set for handcuffs
It brings me right back from the soaked walk home
Shall we play cops and robbers for tonight?
Get the toppings and play DIY chef in the kitchen?
Put on the body suits and go a round of play fighting?
Or take a trip to the green in just your skirt?

I was never good to expressing myself with words
I can’t think of sentence that begins to describe
How good it feels to have a life in my life
Who can forgo all sense of verbal communication
No misunderstandings, No excess of words
Any reassurance for your daily allowance
You got in excess from our bodyflow
The only time I’m understood

And now I’m stationary in my room
Gathering moss on my flesh
Even if their words were never true
And they were planning a getaway
For the next day
Just a night to partake in our little activity

*Written For National Poetry Month – 7/30*

Thick (W.I.P)

After our friends fuck off for a fag break
We find ourselves standing side to side
With our backs to the receding wallpaper
Under the second hand Maplin spotlights
It highlights the dread in your golden eyes
No matter how many times you lick those lips
You can never reach out and claim what’s rightfully yours
You can never let a good thing just be a good thing

You stare down at your feet, looking quite forlorn
You lament how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that couldn’t solve 2 x 4
While stuck in the middle of a Casio showroom

I know you’d rather pass a kidney stone
Then to hear about how your the apple of my eye
But god every second I see you stuck in the dumps
It sucks away my spirit like strawberry milkshake

You stare down at your shoes, like I hit a trigger
You recall how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that receives the sniggers
While stuck in the queue at the cafeteria

Please listen to the gospel that I’m shouting
Stop using what the dregs used to say
As an excuse to not shoot for what your wanting
I’m on my knees, please baby just embrace me!
I want to tickle your toes in the bathtub
Feed you strawberries by the lakeside
Trace circles on your palm during the book club
Turn you into a god when the confidence has died
Feel you hold my arm when your overcome with fright
To see you stamp your feet when I don’t pick up the slack
Kiss you on the head and make-up after a fight
Gnaw on your neck while you leave slashes on my back
Please darling I’m fucking begging you now
Just listen to tremors coming from my chest
Put aside all them nasty scowls
And just fucking accept me for everything I am

Before I start to grow callous
And my heart turns into dust

* For National Poetry Month – 6/30 *

An Invalid Opinion

I dunno what lines the other boys fed to you
For you to look at yourself like that
Through the lens of fairground house of mirrors
With a snapshot of devastation on your face
Are you deluded? Or maybe just stupid?
Cos only the incompetent could ever react that way

Oh honey don’t you lower that head of yours
I’ll make you see what a work of art you are
Dry your eyes and show me that little smirk again
You say they never loved you when your down
When the planets just couldn’t align
Never let those nasty words taint the mirrors feedback

Even though we’ve already explored our forms head to toe
The thought of seeing you in the flesh
Gets me vibrating on the 66 bus seats
Like a jackhammer left in the cement mixer
You must be suffering from cataracts
Or maybe a blow to the head, to meet me under the sheets
But while I have you, I’ll do the only thing I know how
I’ll take you to levels the other couldn’t, I’ll break you in early

Oh honey don’t cover them eyes of yours
I’ll make you see what a work of art you are
Show me them zircons and shoot me little smirk again
You see they never loved me when I was down
When the moods just couldn’t sync
I’ll never let their nasty actions dull my excitement for you

*For National Poetry Month – 4/30*

So’ – Part 1

I’ve contended, with flirting with the idea
Of considering, thinking about a total black out
Grasping the stone and granite between my fingers
After shaking the foundations as gravity becomes my fuel
And I leave an indent of my frame on the coast
The strobe lights colour me in outside of the lines
While the breeze animates a life corpse by the hairlines
A blissful departure into the proceeding day indeed

Now I know my fellow companions have been taken by the night
But I’m stripped back into reality by a familiar voice
I thought I spotted your visage blurred by the humidity of the ocean
Fog to the naked eye, but I can see your amber eyes peering over me
You said you broke away on account of your imagination going wild
Imagining me crawled up in the corner like a dog
After a juggling match for my phone with the locals
You pull me up, give 5 across the head and then hold me tight

But you’ve always been watching over me haven’t you So ‘n So?
You don’t let mortal barriers like existence stop you checking up on me

You’ve always been right by my right hand gal
When the blood tell me I’m always less than a leach on the belly
You’re always there to point out the damage they do
They never see you flick them the V’s but it always makes me smile
When dates tell me I’ll never have it better than them
You’re always there to run your hands up my chest
They’ll never see you press your breasts against my forearm
I don’t care what they say, If I can see you, you’re real to me

You’ve never left my side my dear So ‘n So
When the others run away to their bubbles
With their make shift hammy down sweethearts
You’ll always be at my door for a round of Brawl
Resting your head on my shoulder
As I run my hands through your silky black mop
I don’t care what they say, you’ll always be real to me
If you can make me smile when they show their backs
Then it doesn’t matter what they think
You’re all I need

Part 0 – http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/84357421757/so-part-0

Pull You Closer To My Heart

My appetite is swelling to gargantuan proportions
As I keep my gaze deadlocked on the clouds passing through the skies
Each second the clock strikes, feels like a little victory
I’m a caged leviathan ready to feel the sand on my belly again

It feels like a silly to infer
When you’re raised from a bud with the ideals of the city
But I never feel like I’m really alive, if I’m not surrounded
By these Mediterranean concepts sugar coated by rural gumdrops
These come in form of makeshift cafes, funded by a failed college fund
and neon clad penny munchers ready resurrect a dying youth
It’s clear I was made to act out my golden days here
I was born to live and die fantasising about the beach

There’d be no shame in indulging in this fantasy idealism
Of interpreting the coastal slums and rotting back alleyways
Into sun kissed pathways of golden bricks and Dali graffiti tags
As a solo exhibition, but I could use a witness
I hope they unlock the collar from your neck
I hope your mind is prepared for the barrage of eyes
I know you’re not always free to frolic when the landing lights blaze
I just want to cement your presence in my dream days

I can show you the soiled patios down the side of the corner shop
Where decade old fossils of fictitious duels of cardboard knights
And invisible dragons took place all I like
But you’ll never get any closer to origins of my ecstasy
Then on a windy noon in the middle of spring
Just past the claw’s and the Ice Cream vendors

Teen Angst Beach Ass Life

So hey, when I’m not working on writing the words and the things I’m usually messing around making mix-tapes, like tons and tons of mix-tapes like… I need a profitable hobby amount of mix-tapes.

I kind of get a bunch of tracks together with a flowing narrative and add A TON of Foley and Sound Effects to help drive the story along, to try and make it a bit more of an experience if you want it to be. I dunno since I’m 100% inspired by music when I write I thought maybe some of you could benefit from it too? Give it a good ol’ play 🙂

This mix-tape is one of the first ones I made (God knows how many ladies have a copy of the first draft of this thing) and it’s about finding romance at the beach, cos I was made to live and die fantasizing about the beach, anyways enjoy!

Teen Angst Beach Ass Life

Counting Freckles (Actually Good Version)

I can’t articulate the anger I’m feeling right now at the Gaia
When the rays sneak past your curtains and intrude the picturesque scene
I couldn’t even conceive the idea of turning a band new page
Pushing the previous day to the side to start one without you
Take refuge with me within the darkness of the sheets
Under the covers where time is forced to cease
And the cancer rays have no chance of pierce through our reality
To me it’s still Sunday, hours pass like seconds and sonnets pass like comments

There’s no chance at coherent through or complex social patterns
My body is turned to stone and my mind moulded into cookie dough
All I can I do pay silent tribute to your adorable little grin
Your early morning mop, the auditory bliss of a morning yawn
It’s a self inflicted disability, but I couldn’t even begin to complain
So here we are at the advent of the afternoon, and I’m just counting freckles

And now we’re in a very special place, where we reject the visionary senses
But I can tell your resting your head on my chest, when I feel your respiratory rhythm
It feels like a waste to stay dormant when I’m teased by your perfect silhouette
The eyes may fail, but every follicle that comes into contact with mine
It paints a very clear picture of the masterpiece that lay before me
So I trace a Piccaso with my nails on the cavans that was gifted for me
Each corner I turn sends the signal for the hairs to reach for the skies
The goosebumps start to rise and your back begins to arch
You grapplehook my attention with that debilitating gaze
You don’t move a muscle and you wouldn’t dare say a word
But the ripples in the atmosphere that come from the flicker of your brow
I’ve bathed in the darkness long enough to know exactly what it is your asking for
So I start to change the course, and begin trace a figure eight
At the intersection where the sun never shines, yet still flourishes

My body is turned to stone and my mind moulded into cookie dough
All I can do is silently worship your illuminating kisses
So here we are, coming up to the tail end of the afternoon
And all I want to do is keep counting eyelashes