The Agony Of Waiting [✓Seen]

Tick tock, tick tock
Social occasions
Tick tock, tick tock
Hell in the form of a back burner

Indecision takes it’s time
If it’s even there
Maybe the decisions been made
Is that good?
Is that bad?
I’d give anything to time travel and know

That’s even if I do know
Could I be too dense?
Or the victim of procrastination?
A mountain of text saying nothing
Or could I spot the meaning in the blurs?
Maybe my friend could tell me so?
If they’re not too mad at me
For my cliff notes chatter
As I waste away in front of a phone screen
Oh please just release me

Lnc0

Boy Band/Pop Star No.1 Hit: Disected

Oh social manners are such a bore
And like hell will anxiety let me break them
But how else could I ever manage
To incite a conversation with you?

Everytime we lock eyes
On the concrete battle felid
My guts being to pulverise
As the heart starts to evacuate via the mouth
My legs convulse and die
My eyes ejaculate and explode

I just want to cry all the time
As my spine bends over backwards
As my ribs crack into a ball
To save the soul from overflow
You bring the snoot to my face
And the shakes to my brain
How can I escape the torture?
How can I get you to speak to me?

I’ll do anything to speak to you
I’ll kill to speak to you
If I put a gun to my head would you talk to me
I’m gonna fucking die if I don’t speak to you

Guuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Lnc0

Time To Split

Like the aging mutt I feel we’re in this together
Born and bred, said with a degree of self awareness
But no doubt with authentic pride
So it pains me to have to suggest a stalking faction

I know it could creep into the territory of a creep
But it’s hard to not flick back into the memories
Hand in hand with the most beautiful girl yet
With staring contests through the grass blades
Story book scenes that linger till your in the rocking chair
In danger of being lost forever

I’m running out of friends
I’m running low on romance
Summer dates walking by the bank
Like tugging fossils from the soil
They say you can’t quantify those feelings
But it feels like the minerals are mined dry

Maybe the old shoes don’t fit like they used too
I’m a stranger in my own town
Maybe they all just got the same call
The soil itself crying out for their presence
Did they ever find the nostalgia they craved
Or did something otherworldly replace it?

I guess my hungers pretty low
Coos I’m content with a repeat bitesize
Just another pair of eyes to stare into
Another set of lips to lock with
Nostalgia’s in danger of degrading further
Into the realm of the forgotten
A distress call to preserve the feeling
Maybe in another land someone’ll pick up the phone

Lnc0

Value Of Worth

I could never impress you
No matter the accolade or goal post
It couldn’t even give a millimetre of a raise
Must be boring to hear any of it

But sometimes we forget the world
When we’re keen to chalk down the self
To statistics and levels
Like picking out puppies in the pen

A giggle and a nod
That’s all it came down too
Not what I said but how it was said
That’s how I earned the lean in
And when I think about it
That’s how you hooked onto my heart

And suddenly all the lifetime achievements
Feel like finger paintings on the fridge
Compared to making you laugh
Making you smile through the tears
When you lurk around the outskirts
It’s evident a good feelings all we seek

Lnc0

So Are You Just… About Now?

I just wanna swarm you like paparazzi
Cos I got so many questions to relay on to you
When exactly did you come back around?
To roam the streets and to haunt my beats?
But like a Sirens hiding the Kraken beneath her seas
Those sparkling head lights still make me weak at the knees

Could I hit the roulette on lucky 13?
And be graced with the report that you still remember me
The smile you flash as you scan my way
Implies your memory hasn’t progressed another day

Your glitz, your sleaze, the perfection of your tease
Your lips, Your curls, my minds on a downward twirl
The way you add class to every damn place
Are you sure your still of the human race?

You’ll be at awe of the abysmal excuse I’ll use
When I’ll relay a love note, with the digits I swore I’d lose
The time you’ve cameoed in my life has been slight
But now nostalgia’s grip on the synapse is tight

Lnc0

A Life Time Of Love In Review

We’re coming up to the half a year anniversary
But I’m not feeling so vapid come this time around
Maybe it’s cos a familiar question is orbiting my lobes
And quite frankly I don’t have an answer this time around

What it is I’m even asking the stars for?
That which I could pluck from the gardens of my fellows?
With only the addition of readiness to entice the deal
Is that what it all boils down too?
Not a search for beauty, or for enchantment
But a treck for the treasure of convenience?

Maybe I don’t want a blue bird to show for my efforts
I just want the whirlwind of the engagements
The chest pains as I walk up to the meeting place
The stutters in my speech, the grasping for topics
Before tearing the walls down with our finger tips
As the distance between us regressed to decimals
Does it matter how it actually ends up?
If the means to get there were so joyous?

As I vocalize it, it becomes apparent
That we put love into such bizarre quantifiers
So many ounces of attractiveness
They have to hit a quota of earnings and possessions
Maybe those I’ve looked down on had it right
Nothing about them has to blow your mind
I just want to be liked in the most infantile way
For them to like me, like the way I talk
Like the way I dress, like my glass shattering laugh
Like my pointy nose, Like my scraggly hair
Like the way I write, Like the way I love
But above all that shite, the one thing they have to like
Is like the way I like them too
Maybe this isolation wasn’t in vain, to figure that one out

Lnc0

The Eyes

My adoring public
I can hear your calls loud and clear
And I promise I got all your nice letters and gifts
But something ain’t sitting quite right with me
I’m standing here in a coat of saliva
Reflecting of the strobe lights, the jazzy sonics
But the brain doesn’t feel any less at ease
The cancer of isolation is slowly taking it away
Cos I’m running on empty this night
And I dunno what it is I really need
Can I find the elation that only company can provide?
Can I find the worth to which only praise can comply?
Maybe the silhouettes shaking in the smog can set me free?
As one snaps back into reality and approaches me

She moves through the night like smoke
Pins me to the wall gagging for life like monoxide
Pythons running through my shirt
While she barks through forked tongues
The haze of your 5th rum intake
Translates the howls and barks more colloquially
“I want every atom and line of code
That created your being, all the time, every time”
But when your soul starts to radiate
As soon as you unleash the locks from your jaws
Will it decay the budding rose
Will your verse turn into pesticide?
Her claws try to relax the buttons of your jeans
But does she really care about what’s inside?

You defragment and collect yourself in another scene
But try as you might you can’t escape it
The eyes undress you, they molest you
They grow in numbers as they surround you
Your so beautiful, the most prettiest thing they’ve seen
But your just beautiful, just the prettiest thing
And the panic starts to set in
The anxiety really starts to rev up
You dunno what it was you ever wanted
But you’ll never find it here
You die inside, you just want to cry
Your soul starts to quiver and freeze
What is that you’ve done?
Do you really even know?

Lnc0

From The ‘4 Nights Of Hell’ Series

The Start Of The 4 Nights Of Hell

I still think I’m going to get married to you one day
As all the onlookers gaze with smug interpretations on their face
As if they could see everything 5 moves ahead
Maybe I can give them a little ask from years from the past

Cos I just wanna tell you, how much flows on the inside
Everytime life deals yourself on my plate
No matter how much fortification we erect around ourselves
We can’t ignore the life force we surge into ourselves
I’d give up any future that was guaranteed for me
To shatter the glass barricades for only a day
That glass I know has to be shattered one day, a mere delay
So I can one day tell you their’s no amount of time I can wait
Your still the only one who can breath the life veins into me
Reverse this petrified heart of mine and see

I’m in and out with the world’s pallet
And lord knows I tried, I tried so hard
To get them to understand my heart
Get them to flow into me
But try as I might there’s nothing I can do
I just can’t love anyone as much as I loved you
I can be good, I can be everything
I can be anything, I can be nothing
I can be all you want, I can be your blood,
I can be your soul and beat through and through
Cos I don’t love anyone at all
At least nowhere as much as I love you

But I know I won’t get married to you one day
There’ll be no satisfied theorist to give us away
I know I’ll be no good, I know I’ve never been good
Cos it’s gotta be him, never me and you

Lnc0

From the ‘The 4 Nights Of Hell’ series

————————————————————————–

Little extra backstroy on this one, this poem was less written more ‘found’ on my hardrive, I must’ve written this while drunk at the end of a night out, at the start of the 4 nights these next few poems will be based around, thought I did punctuation and spelling corrections, I didn’t change anything, this is just what I wrote and it’s so sad to know there’s a part of me that’s hurting this bad

Angels Only Serve To Aggravate

You can hear them praying now
When cracks appear on their rose tinted lens
“Why can’t girls around her be nicer!?”
Written on the slip in their right hand
With a rum and coke in the left
But taste the salt in their tears
When Principalities do descend from above
They’re nicer, they show you boys grace
But that can never change the fundamentals
That the divine are destined to abandon the sinners

God bless the angels, that only serve to aggravate

No amount of divinity can change
A tight locked schedule for the planet
Rapture’s right around the corner
What’s a poor Cherubim supposed to do?
Too nice to tighten the grip on his heart
Knowing it has to loosen someday
Too nice to indulge his curiosities
When accession’s clearly off the cards
That’s the epitome of kindness
That’s the meaning of courtesy
But clearly they’ve missed the memo of that one
Cos all it does is piss a heathen off

So god bless the angels, that only serve to aggravate

Lnc0

I Still Don’t Know What Love Is

A stare blanker then safety fire
That’s the aesthetic as I’m hit with the feeling again
AS you glance at the floor mid waltz
I dunno where you went, but I hope it was better then here
I’m your precious little life support
As you browse the isles for methods to get out
A recent decline you’d assume
But I’m cynical enough to suggest my MO was transplant duty

Our intimacy is sub zero
Our chemistry as acid and alkaline collide
My ears can’t ignore the boredom in your voice
Our affection, brotherly
Our conversations, small talk
My heart can’t deny your indifference

I don’t think anything will modify at this rate
I can’t believe you can’t pick up on the stillness
No matter how much feeling I inject
Your expression stays the same
Like cordyceps growing from a corpse
You can hardly call this living, call this love

I’m happy I was service to your life
But my power is pouring from the cracks
I’m sure you can see the damage that’s done to me
But the method to protecting this shell is simple

Just
Stop
Caring
A million faces are smiling back on me
How moronic to just focus on one

Lnc0