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Love Song #562

It says a lot about the weight I’ve had to carry
That I’ve only just had the time to idle long enough to remember
It’s been a whole month since we last were a part of each others lives
I’m not surprised to find I’ve been left on read this whole time since then
It’s our insignia to leave something like this so open ended
I guess you saw this like a pit stop less a reunion
Two satellites converging on their trajectory for a weekend
Before going their separate ways until the next time fate gravitates them
I’m not gonna act like I’m shocked by it at all
But I’m not gonna act like it didn’t sting a little bit either

To think of the sincerity of what you told me that night
With the kind of grin that comes from exploring a new life in your palms
But with the familiarity of slipping back onto an old coat
To think your happy to just walk away from all that
Cos for you it was just another night
Thinking about it gets me misty eyed if I’m being honest with you

But I am a satellite first and foremost
And my destiny doesn’t lie with waiting on your trail
Cos when I returned to my soil it was instantaneous
The cries of my brothers, sisters and siblings
The ones who share all the corners of my make-up
Were all I could hear even behind my headphones
I didn’t even get a chance to take off my boots
But already I got an obligation to my people

Cos they’re trying to survive under the crosshairs of society
Each and every star in my city struggling to burn brightly
Anyway I can help guide their way, that’s the reason I’m still on this rock
To share this pain and bring them all with me as I raise higher
Cos if I’m doomed to wait for heaven on earth
Then I reckon this isn’t a bad use of my precious time

Still, I think about how you won’t join me and my breathing gets heavier
The callous ways of the cisgendered will be a mystery to me I suppose
But I’m grateful I got to lie with you for one more night again
It gave me a reminder of what love is supposed to look like:

The ease of it, the flowing dialogue, the little moments of contact
An DIY chicken sandwich lunch, letting the time get away from us
The passionate rants 3 glasses of Preseco in
Pound store Christmas lights illuminating the room
As you enthusiastically get reacquainted with the nuances of my body
Only to get flustered at the puzzle of my belt buckle
No vague mysteries or foggy clues: You just want me.
And that’s the most wanted I’ve ever felt in a decade my friend

So now I’m back in my local with the next romance in the queue
When he tries to sell me a tertiary association
As a romance of the same calibre
I’ll remember our night during January 2019
And I’ll see past the contexts and the politics
And remember love doesn’t have to feel this empty

Meoph surcreh tona

The moon’s leaving bags in the night sky
As it descends at an alarming rate
While we walk to a haven, here on London’s backside
Sponsored by Prosecco and post sell-by date Rosé
Hosted by late naughties sketch comedy
I think it may of been another night at the take out for you
Picking me out like ordering a number 58 with extra sauce
But I don’t think you knew what you were doing that night
You were turning stone back into flesh
Returning excitement back to it’s rightful place

Cos I’ve been stuck in the pits for a year
It’s tough to dismiss the wounds as scratches
But a year’s a long time to collect dust and moss
Your limbs and joints bound by the narrative it creates

But trapped in the surgeons chair, you get used to the idea
Of being a spectator to love’s sweet rose garden
The little coffee dates, the negotiations in the park
The walls coming crashing down after glass 3
It’s a ritual of another design, another dimension
You can only smirk through a smile as your skin decays
The pebbles fall from your marble skin
If I was permitted for romance, it wasn’t for today

But what should arrive on an unassuming afternoon?
With grace powerful enough to make renaissance portraits blush
And the charm to talk a bullet back into it’s chamber
You could hear the Velcro damn near tear as she pulled me from the wall
With a smile that can alter paradigms
All while finding the time to subvert Medusa’s gaze
She brings me back to the 3rd Dimension
Reviving my pigments back from the earth
I never meant to make you entertain any doubt darling
It’s just elation’s a hard suit to get comfortable in again
I lack the talent to produce the stanza’s to let you know
How it felt to see you bide your time through my stillness
I was in there for sure and you came upon me eventually
I just hope the toffee lives up to the chocolate that preceded it

Sebastian Noël

Domestic Bliss

I would do a lot of under cuff stuff
To get a million miles from your position
Forced to swallow coffee drops
And perform the ventriloquism required
To perceive the illusion your gorging on the same
Delicately you were on moonlight ridden nights in the park
Inviting a kaleidoscope of fauna in your a gaped jaw
As your follicles all shoot out, like grasping for photosynthesis

And tell me, is he courteous enough to believe the lie?
As he takes vague sentences and defiant dodges
As you would a wedding vow
Cheesy smiles and arm prisons installed on your shoulders
While you go home to the sex your not having
Something about being 1/12th of a wish puts him off
Does the molasses of guilt pour from his gullet?
While you spend another Saturday night, deciding your Rustlers Flavour

What of your intention? Or least your means to indulge them?
Is the fate of cobweb covered antiques
Something that really speaks to you?
What of the voice calling to nostalgia?
As you beam with pride at the foot of V-bar
While transcribes get passed around the joint
But those Chinese whispers come back to haunt you
Why not release the Molotov?
And remember the rumours front to back
From mildew stained bath tiles
To the majestic caress of the hotel sheets
It kills me to see you drown in dissatisfaction
So won’t you trade a quip or two with me?
And transition to the recollection of a life time

Sebastian Noël

There’s Majesty In The Art Of Doing Nothing

Gorging on the flavours of a grass reed
The tip of my hat blinding of the worlds evils
Like shirtless apes poking a ball around
While sniffing the skirts of innocent passers-by
And low end music students butcher Skinny Love
In the hopes of finding validation in their life choices
While the ladies parade the cobble catwalk
With shoestring outfits on a shoestring budget

I live for them milliseconds chances
Where the ends of our arm hairs collide
If just for a fraction, while we try and get comfortable
It’s the perfect catalyst for the event
Where the gravity between us grows more intense
A mysterious phenomenon that we can’t explain
I better hold onto your hand dear
Before you float away from us, into the stars unknown

Conversations flow like butter
Our limbs tangle like taffy
Subjects slide away like grease
Smiles behind fringes like sugar
Top it off with caricature descriptions
Slathered head to toe with syrup

Barraged by thoughts of tracing fridge magnet drawings on your side
Whilst you stand just outside of my bedroom window
Your silhouette contrasting with the collapse of the day time
Like a monument erected behind a cathedral stain window
Trying to keep away from miles away, my current Everest
There’s nothing I can do, I have to abandon my cool, and gush to you

With my limbs and tongue infused with velocity
I offer refuge from the English weathers tantrum
We could widdle away the hours trying to find the moles on our arms
Playing thumb wars, I spy and analyse the dye in our eyes
Because if you ask me there’s an art in wasting time
With the most immaculate company a boy could hope to find

~Dedicated To Esme~