He’s Not Always Like This

You’re not the only thing in your orbit anymore
But you’d never catch that with a still life of us
Sullen eyebrows and penny drop silences
Hypnotised spouses and distress signals
I try to break through the atmosphere with choking
Inquires and concerns squeeze through a closed windpipe
But I get the feedback of a crackle in a crash site
We’re joint at the hip, but I’m so alone

I make the same impact entering your vicinity
That a knock knock joke makes at a funeral
The disinterest is making me dip dye into madness
Nothing baits it more then your own thoughts echoing off the wall
I need to start taking chemistry on the side
Cos I don’t know which formula hidden in the air
Turns my cries for help into a defensive reaction from you
Each outstretched arm like a knife in your hide
Each yearn for affection; a threat to your precarious ego
Not when your bacon is smeared on these support beams
The change of oil, scented candles, a premium dota account
Like fuck should I dare take that way from you
So I guess I’ll sit back and take in the atmosphere
We locked ourselves in here, but I’m still so alone

I just really like you
About as much as you’ve become sick of me
I keep liking you more and more
Maybe at the same rate of you become weary of me
We’re on route to be betrothed, but I’m so alone

I miss giving rasberries on your neck
I miss tickling the inside of your palms
I miss neglecting the stars for a full view of you
I really like you, but I’m so alone

Now I have no idea where I am
Leaving a leeches impression on his neck
Leaving a tally with my nails on the toilet cubical
I feel weird
My skin feels like it’s peeling off my arms
As he runs his fingers down my silhouette
My spit feels foreign, My tears feel like waste
And as I whisper worship to him, he breathes life into me
I don’t know him and he can do it, anyone can
Anyone who isn’t you can breathe life into me
I don’t like him, but now I feel I’m in reality again
I feel so weird

I can’t stand missing you, when I see you everyday
I reek of substance and perspiration
But it’s still not enough to raise an octave out of you
A nod, a twitch if I’m lucky, and then back to null
I feel super weird, I feel like I wanna die
I take his 50 and your old parka
I take anything I call my own into a bag
I dodge tear stains and haste together a cliff note
“Fuck you
Anyone could do it and you choose not too
Just fuck you!”
I jump into his car and make a dive out of your field
You’re the only thing in your orbit now
But did you even notice anything different
Can anyone else do it too?
Now I’m across the toll booth
I feel so fucking weird
Now I’m really alone
And now I don’t know what I feel…

October Poetry Month 1/31

Our Activity

The clock strikes around 40 minutes past 4
And so comes to end another shift as the canvas
For comrades to project their insecurities onto
Being born with a flawed blueprint, it’s the perfect excuse
Oh lucky me I’m to be greeted with an offering of h2o
Delivered from the heavens above personally

I know it sounds surreal, but their was something sweet
About being greeted with the biggest smile
Clutching your brand new set for handcuffs
It brings me right back from the soaked walk home
Shall we play cops and robbers for tonight?
Get the toppings and play DIY chef in the kitchen?
Put on the body suits and go a round of play fighting?
Or take a trip to the green in just your skirt?

I was never good to expressing myself with words
I can’t think of sentence that begins to describe
How good it feels to have a life in my life
Who can forgo all sense of verbal communication
No misunderstandings, No excess of words
Any reassurance for your daily allowance
You got in excess from our bodyflow
The only time I’m understood

And now I’m stationary in my room
Gathering moss on my flesh
Even if their words were never true
And they were planning a getaway
For the next day
Just a night to partake in our little activity

*Written For National Poetry Month – 7/30*

Early Exit

*Another oldie from when I was 17, man I was a sad ass boy*

Walking under the proto-sleet beneath me
What is it that the locals see in me?
If i started running would any of them follow me?
Friend or foe to see what was the score?
Making my way through the nostalgic stage sets
Exit right away from the routine dramatics I’ve seen before
Trekking it all the way on my own
As much as I’d hate to sulk, let alone
But it’s far to late to scream for them
As I’ve already fled the scene

Is it out of hate they decide to keep quiet?
Or is it out of love they don’t want to tip the harmony?

I couldn’t find the heart to ask for aid
When it’s that aid which is expected of me
But if i started to walk away would any of them stop me?
Unless i tried to plan and make a scene
But to give in to weaker ways would destroy me
Would it make me nothing more than charity?
Snifflers and sobbers huddled on the pavement floor
Asking for pity, louder than ever before
Would it be wrong to follow suit?
Or would opposing tropes cause me to be cast aside?
If your not happy your not relevant in these times
So sadly I’ll have to flee the scene
And hope that they’ll follow me

Is it out of hate they decide to keep quiet?
Or is it out of love they don’t want to tip the harmony?

So’ – Part 1

I’ve contended, with flirting with the idea
Of considering, thinking about a total black out
Grasping the stone and granite between my fingers
After shaking the foundations as gravity becomes my fuel
And I leave an indent of my frame on the coast
The strobe lights colour me in outside of the lines
While the breeze animates a life corpse by the hairlines
A blissful departure into the proceeding day indeed

Now I know my fellow companions have been taken by the night
But I’m stripped back into reality by a familiar voice
I thought I spotted your visage blurred by the humidity of the ocean
Fog to the naked eye, but I can see your amber eyes peering over me
You said you broke away on account of your imagination going wild
Imagining me crawled up in the corner like a dog
After a juggling match for my phone with the locals
You pull me up, give 5 across the head and then hold me tight

But you’ve always been watching over me haven’t you So ‘n So?
You don’t let mortal barriers like existence stop you checking up on me

You’ve always been right by my right hand gal
When the blood tell me I’m always less than a leach on the belly
You’re always there to point out the damage they do
They never see you flick them the V’s but it always makes me smile
When dates tell me I’ll never have it better than them
You’re always there to run your hands up my chest
They’ll never see you press your breasts against my forearm
I don’t care what they say, If I can see you, you’re real to me

You’ve never left my side my dear So ‘n So
When the others run away to their bubbles
With their make shift hammy down sweethearts
You’ll always be at my door for a round of Brawl
Resting your head on my shoulder
As I run my hands through your silky black mop
I don’t care what they say, you’ll always be real to me
If you can make me smile when they show their backs
Then it doesn’t matter what they think
You’re all I need

Part 0 – http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/84357421757/so-part-0