Tag: leaving

Every Rumour Is True

I hate to admit it’s the case
But maybe it’s time to vacate
Resort to a back tracking slate
And join those who told me so late

They said Colchesters beyond repair
And all it ever breeds is despair
But was that always the script?
I feel like I’ve given up on you
Your’s was the pristine setting
Of a spotless prime time family sitcom
I would’ve let go of so much ambition
Just to be cast in that security
But why didn’t you want it too?
Every attempt leads me to be refused
I rip the canvas apart to be true
But your content to leave me black and blue
The vacant stares, the missed messages
The short talks, the disappearing effort
You never used to turn down my love
What on earth’s changed, to earn your disdain?

I just want to time travel my soul
My morals, My outlook, My cells
Back to walks in the forest
And awfully planned picnics in the park
In the pouring 4AM rain, just passing the sunset
Eating peanut butter sandwiches in the shade
Who was that with? Krissy, Rosie, Nikki?
I don’t know anymore
Their faces have degraded into blanks
The memories are becoming fabrication
Who’s memories am I stitching together?
They feel like strangers in my own remembrance

Tears are making a comeback in my eyes
Cos the town I’ve loved with all my heart
It doesn’t recognise me anymore
It wants me out, It can’t stand the sight of me
I’ve happened upon your corpse wondering Yomi
Your face twisted and contorted
Am I a foreign object, pollen to be excreted?
Cos that’s exactly how it feels
Apathy poisoning my pours
My skin dries and my heartbeat slows to a crawl

Colchester… I don’t recognise you anymore
I don’t feel as safe on your soil like before
This love isn’t healthy, for a creature of my imagination
I need out of you, as much as you need me out too

Sebastian Noël

The Sonic Cycle IRL (W.I.P)

Now don’t get me wrong, your optimism in your admiration for me is darling
The way your eyes rival the strobe lights when your clutch my hand
Making sure we never lose contact under the mercy of the dance floor
But it’s arrogant for you to assume your the first
And it’s naive of me to assume you’ll make sure your the last
When the sugar leaves your blood and the month comes to a close
And you come to meet me on a cloudy noon by the tennis courts
You’ll forfeit that twinkle in your eyes, just like the predecessors before you

You’re name starts the chimes in my memory
Your past credentials have impressed me fellow enigma
The origins may vary from person to person
The fairy tale has ended and my interest has waned
My self-esteem will be the catalyst to my laziness
But it always ends in the same way

I’m losing my faith, that anyone’s gonna break the cycle
No matter the creed, colour or class it always goes the same
What’s to stop me from disconnecting completely?
When the excuses are the same?
When they all lead the same?
When they’re all the same?

Try as I might I’ll never escape the wheels of fortune
The scene loops again like a broken vinyl
How typical when I open my body up, and let these sensual thunderbolts
Invade the gateways into their epicentres to provide that taste of heaven
All I did was ask for a little admiration in return
Then I’ll see the same drop in their smiles on my pillows

You’re my Betty Crocker interlude
To break up a conveyor of base processes
Then why do the texts suddenly stop?
You’re my mascot clad onesie
After hours of grinding in corsets and heels
Then why does your grip loosen from my hand?

I’m losing my faith, that anyone’s gonna break the cycle
No matter the creed, colour or class it always goes the same
What’s to stop me from disconnecting completely?
When they all get bored the same?
When they all lie the same?
When they’re all the same?

* From the Gynophobia series*