Terrible As A Dick, Terrible As A Bitch

Gland’s are swollen, hair’s a mess
Eyes like a reptile, that’s if they’re awake
Hearts playing squish against my ribcage
London’s arches have fallen down
As I zip two and fro the town walls
Cos no place stocks my size 12’s
Least not unless I wanna take out a mortgage
Sulking the afternoon over a toffee exlir
Panic spending to justify the return ticket here
Spent the money on a 7" I didn’t even like

It’s tantrum time
Cos I’m tired of being the awkward element
None of my conversations seem to flow
“No it’s about more then the shoes” I said
My friend took to it like a Jehovah leaflet
“But I’m telling you” I said “It’s a sign of my pathway”
Glancing at his watch “Listen man I gotta go”
Maybe it’s something only people like me would know
Those of us who’ve been the caramel on the molar
Feet too buff for kicks, shoulders too broad for threads
Too tichy to be fat, too wide to be skinny
Never been that, won’t ever be this
“I hate to bother you but…” The motto of a life-time

I thought genetics could sneak the hint under the desk
For some semblance of the direction I could go
Yet for every second, a lady will whisper into my ear
“I wish I had your curly hair, your long nails or soft skin
Not to mention the manslaughter I’d commit for them eyelashes”
A story my thighs and hips could collaborate
And with the pay wall being so high
Is it any wonder so many young men cast away that identity
Tell the £75 periwinkles to fuck off
And embrace the 2 for deal on the heeled boots
Too poor to be a guy, but whatever I find out that’s on their head

Lnc0

They Call Me Yggdrasil

The drunks and the socialites, they call me Yggdrasil
As my vines soak up another Broadside
Your back to the wall is the best vantage point
You can’t keep tabs on the tigers as they patrol the pine
They smile and purr as they mark your arms
But each and everyone hides a torch behind their backs
Their eyes like fireflies as they sway in the dark
And I don’t think I get away from any danger
They say 23 is in the prime of youth
Then why is the bark peeling of my skin
More and more of my face is being left behind
And I don’t think my denizens recognize me anymore
The only curse I’m under is my inability to lie
I see my brethren wipe clay on the pours and call it skin
But I’m not ready to succumb to the mould
I refuse to accept I wasted my youth in southern comforts
There’s so many camellias.and lotuses I can add to my branch
So please tell me the face I have to wear, so I can get there
And maybe you’ll obstruct my path again
You possess many forms but I know you’re the same mind
Then you wrap yourself around my roots
And your soul secretes that gorgeous lilac haze
This time I won’t leech your life away, to fuel mine
I’ll let you exert pressure and rip me out of the soil
Cos we’re the polar opposites of our nature
While my body remains, my soul continuously changed
So I hope when you peel back the oak
You can find comfort in whatever you find

Lnc0

Failed Integration

Dear diary, it happened again
Society has shown me the back of it’s hand
And all I tried to do was coexist
Dear diary, it happened again
Society has spat on my brand new shoes
And all I tried to do was understand it

I tried to let my guard down again today
Attempting to slowly peel away
The years of perfecting the perfect persona
But like a moth to flame I never learn
I have no idea what it is I did
Now they’ve illuminated me with their bright red glares
It’s time to slink back away to the drawing board
And stitch together a new persona all over again

Do you see the bloody towels?
And the birthday gifts gathering dust?
That’s what’s left of your last attempt
To integrating with the everyfolk
An animal can only learn to mimic human mannerisms
No matter how convincing the mask and the dance
They can see right through you like jelly
The closer you get the harsher the kickback

Dear diary, it happened again
Society has shown me the back of it’s hand
And all I tried to do was not get in the way
Dear diary, it happened again
Society has spat on my brand new shoes
And all I tried to do was ask why it had to be this way

I’m all out of fight, I submit to your will
Just tell me what it is you want me to do
I’ll sit gag, bound and tied up by the hands
And you can pick me up by the strings
And make me act like everyone else
The type of person people are glad to see
A version of me that wasn’t born in this defective way
Maybe it’ll make them happy
Maybe it’ll make me happy…

*Written For National Poetry Month – 22/30*