V-Bar Alleyway Blues

Pick myself up, chin up, stiff upper lift
Why though?
I saw her lock hands with pork scratching of the week
Another subtle deterrent
From an uncaring collective
She smiles, she ways, she’s out of reach
The story of another weekend out
A turned head, bereavement nostalgia
My arse is kissing concrete again
Patience, patience, patience
I’m sick of waiting on a lost package
If existence can’t convince me good is coming
Then what is my North Star supposed to be?
To find the things we credit as the motive
For the respiratory process

I’m not quite so motivated right now
I’m choking on nostalgia, fat on memories
Someone pacify me
Give me something new to write about

What do I have to do for you to accept me Essex?

Sebastian Noël

Byakko

I want to drown in hypothesis
Or at least have the calculus running
In the background as it always has
The hum that helps me fall to sleep
Recollection of injecting the joy into your husk
Truly discard the armour for just a moment
Tracing out clouds, comparing daisies collected
The closest we get to a single digit percentage
To a state they call ‘genuine’
Single moment where all the poems and verses
About the light of the invisible pulls
Start to creep into the reality I inhabit
The rumour they call love

That verbal hypnotism gives me that glow
Of a hundred kisses given under the sheets
And if you ever contacted me with those lips
I’d dissolve with the fauna’s pollen
And I’ll cease to exist in this world
As pure and innocent as I entered it

Can I really let that wane?
Turn of that white noise
And find a way to peace in the silence
Find comfort in the realm of nothingness
I know the symbiote nature has to cease
I’d gladly donate all my insides
But not to see you die in my sight
Again and again and again

If only I’d of intervened with your destruction
And wasn’t obsessed with the perfect timing
Kept endgame to the side
And my heart to myself
The way it beats no different right now
Then time wasting nights in Williams and Griffin
The beats no different for these 7 years
If I was weak to love you then
Then this can only be complete devotion
Not a single atom hasn’t been in your grasp

But I’ll revoke those custody rights
No matter how much it’ll kill me inside
Cos I can’t bring myself to relay
Just how much I’ve loved you
How many times I’ve howled in my cage
Weeping over flashbacks of holding you tight
We was so damn sure we’d never let go
In the company of one born in the same dimension
Everyone else feels like an abstract collage
You were the only thing in focus
And now nothing makes sense
But can you tell me? To really nail the coffin in

Did you ever feel the love come around again?

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

(end)/

I weighed up my values side by side
Placed ‘em on the scales and seized them up
As I try to visualize a rerun of the program
The tears, the hope draining from her eyes
Having to witness the defamation of herself
And great it not with violence, but with a smile
A hug and empty attempts to save her from harm
Because who snuck that poison in the first place?
I hope wisdom would steer you on back to the road
But you were never heading that way in the first place

It’s embarrassing to admit the time it took
To take the binds from the eyeballs
Cos that girls a glutton for punishment
She smacks those who offer her a hand
And kisses those who would slap her
While the cosmos grants her wishes
To turn the allies of the state on each other
She tells us to strike down the evil doer
While leaking our advance to the adversary
Reporting how the republic stands to tear them apart

But it’s no tall tale, for sure he’s a low life
The kind that needs to see his girl’s soul shatter
To justify his bitter existence
As he tells another one, how he’s calculated her worth
But I might need to sell my Riot Grrrl records
Seems I’ve been mislead about the woes of violation
As she bows down at this for more lashes
After she slams the door in his face

Now my back really fucking aches
From all the times you collapsed in my arms
It’s tough to see that hard work go to waste
As you materialized, handcuffed to his knees
Only after a spectacle, a Broadway in pain
Staring at us in the box seats, to make sure we’re looking
Before you rupture my fragile heart with your cry
We scream and shout for you to turn your head
Are you okay? Are you safe!?
As you close the scissors on the radio line
And you edit the script for your alone time
You crawl on your knees, and proceed to beg
“Please bruise me, leave me black and blue
Call me retarded, call me pathetic, call me unworthy
But please wait until the eyes are looking this way
So they react to me in the aftermath”

But darling I truly do love you
In ways indescribable to the human tongue
We truly borrowed thoughts from the same realms
They could switch our DNA and nothing would change
My aspiration, my idol, my pipe dream
To be with you, To BE you, to be everything around you
A wife, A doppelgänger, the origin of all power in the earth
Crumbling to shreds in my very claws
We know in this age, all your heroes will let you down
The lens has been torn away, I barely kept my lobes
I’ve spent these years emulating a character in my head
And the proof we can escape torment dies with you too
Understand that you’re a bad omen for me
Cos I’ve always been more woman then man
And if someone with your potential can’t break free?
Then what chance do us mere mortals have?

Lnc0

Stormy Seas

I know what ‘difficult’ is a codeword for
No one ever makes it though those 9 letters unscathed
It’s not as if anyone’s raised the white flag
But it’s clear we’ve been playing different games all along

Of course it’s better then to stay ignorant
But I’ll kick and scream at the predictability
Can I not gain the foresight to spot the 3rd act
After the 2nd ice cream pallor meet up
I’m scared of dipping my toes into that world again
So much effort, so much time, on a non starter
I know it’s the risk we all have to take with majesty
But I’m terrified

Lnc0

Echoes

Echoes I wish you were kinder to me
To have some special awareness for the context
And reconfigure yourself on my behalf
To make the wait a little more bearable

Cos even when interceptors pause your return
They’re not much kinder to me
Even when the slots fit the wounds
And we recite our medication from memory
They still refrain from embracing me
Even when the evidence continues to mount
That there’s no one better equipped in this life
For our car wreck existences
Still even when we’re standing here
Crying, vulnerable and dying
They refuse to embrace me
Echoes please tell me why?

Don’t I give them the euphoria they crave?
Don’t I sustain all their needs?
How much more of myself to I have to carve out
Before they embrace me again?
Can you tell me that echoes?
I don’t know how much more waiting I can do

Lnc0

Breakfast Bap Blues

Your so close to dying
A molecule based misery seeps from the floor
On a not unexpected, but disappointing 5 past 10
Your dodging english again to escape the rainpour
While an egg yolk begins to weep for you
As you take another bite of your morning bap
It’s as miserable of a picture as it sounds
And all you got is the classic English morning for company

You don’t even know when it went wrong
But you know that look when it cuts you
Reserved for the most fiendish of miscreants
As he finds any excuse to pull his hand away from yours
An itch, checking the phone, pointing to a bug eating dogshit
A mere millimetres separate you, but your continents apart
He even was in rush to kiss you at the door
And there goes a boy, who didn’t want to be here in the first place

Was it something you said? Or did?
Did you miss the cue to deliver your line?
Fuck the line, I don’t think you ever got the script
Maybe he’s right, maybe you never do listen
How do you apologise, you know he’ll just ask why?
And if you’re short of an answer
Then that’s as good as telling him to fuck off
Maybe if you got him that album he’s always talki…. mmm…
That’s when a clairvoyants flash slips into your mind
And it slowly starts to dawn, that it’s futile

So you sink further into the diners throne
Your face covered by azure curls
In your Totoro hoodie, and your copy of Wild World
As you stomach that there’s nothing you can do
To make the clouds part and the sun beam
So you might as well just waste your time…

Lnc0

Ode To Crush Poetry

Oh my darling little fallback, if not you then who?
I know it’s been a while since I wrote about you
In the millions of your easy to emulate forms
Long divisions of calculation to respect my current contract
Or little sugar bites of those who I chase to break that contract
Oh what one of two could I scribe down this week

I don’t mean to disrespect what you’ve given me
My baby steps, my identity
My heart smeared on my dinner plates
Oh and I know we could be good still
But the puppa’s gone, kick down the cage and got out
We’ve persevered so much together, but the wars done
I need you as much as you need me
And I know you don’t need my broke-ass life
Flooding Tumblr with more shite then before

It’s been a gas but I gotta find more to scribe
Like my existence, my tremors, my ideals
Something a little more permanent to leave behind
Then another crush poem about a theoretical idea
Of half a person I reckon of from behind a text message
Who’ll end up fucking me off before I’ve written the last line
Oh how!? Can I crush when my hearts flat!
And fresh out of heart to give
Any more crushed and it’ll be a replacement credit card
And over what? Two-bit identity queens who’ll drop you
Oh no more crush poetry, no more crush poems
On people that don’t deserve a second of my time
Much less the value of my immortality

Oh crush poetry, we’ve been through so much
You’ll be my only high school sweetheart for sure
But my little hearts out of bruises to take
My romantic calculations need to be more precise
Much less for you, but for my sanity
You deserve a lot better then what I’ve become
But there’s no shortage of heirs to the throne
Hearts falling hard, every single day
I know I’ve left you in capable hands
Hands of those with gallons of innards
Just waiting to be crushed