Locked In

I’m feeling the exile once again
But it somehow stings a little less this time
Cos the more I try to integrate into it
The more I’m left feeling locked outside the library
Is it worst to be exiled from the 2 point 5 children life,
In a thinly veiled attempt to curb divergent mind numbers?
Or is it perhaps worse to the be locked in
In a social model curated without your people’s input?

Can’t help but wonder when comparing
The epilogues of those recently let in the door
Covering every pour and hole
She’s suffocating from the droll
Of spectre’s hanging down her neck in idle times
Every breath, word and call, twisted and poked
Reminded of the needlessly gendered social hierarchy
Calculated, purposeful, negging call of the crows
An ecosystem made invincible, impenetrable
Perhaps it is worse to be locked in….

Worse to be locked with their grip on your arms
Forcing you to choke the life out of your love
Cos that’s the mark of a Mars in charge
Even worse when you look down
And you see who’s holding your arms, orchestrating the choke
“It’s what the Mars kind should do” she says
Every breath, word and call, twisted and poked
Reminded of the needlessly gendered social hierarchy
Perhaps it is worse to be locked in
Where your identity is out of your control

Sebastian Noël

Successors Gratitude

Resigned to a life of the fight
Every second designed to a diplomatic way or declaration
His skirt is the capote, to the masses bull hardy hearts
Every step is a step ready to die
To splay on the grown sucking your own blood for the cause
To only be as brave as you
To keep the fight outside the confines of your room
The activists, the hashtagers
Those who say your life matters
They’ll turn their backs to you
Unless you wind up dead
Compressed into a headline, ready to tweet

But I won’t forget you
Maybe you dunno the fallout, nor it’s effects
As you tell another paragon of heaven’s kingdom
To politely go fuck themselves
But when I show my face to the public
Toting my leggings, the choker and oversized jumper
I hope you’ll know

And though your masculine identity is set in stone
When I see those less attached
Start to fill my streets
I hope you’ll know

When despite the fear of an abrupt end
Looms over those same young ladies heads
Shaking as they order another pale ale
I hope you’ll know

They may not speak
They may be too awkward to credit you
But beyond the middle class plastic activists
Is us
And we know

Sebastian Noël

The Ballad

People can find familiarity in the strangest places
I think we’ve landed in the same funk you and I
Blind to the cheers sent our way
We can only see 2ft in front of us
And it all points to one burning question
Just what is the point of us?
Why are we so useless?
And where can we find the universes plan for us?

I’m a dreg with no means to rebel
I’m a teacher with no wisdom to impart
I’m a poet no one listens too
Baby do you ever feel so pointless
That you wonder why you were even born?
Maybe you feel it too?
Could it be we were destined for something so base
As keeping each other company tonight?

Hey you won’t hear me grouch for now
Not while the playlist’s going this strong!
Maybe I was made for dancing tonight
Highlighting the bias to adolescent anthems
As our chests collide to a Cribs single
Holding our potions for the night
“Hey, you running low on your White Russian?
I got the funds to fix you up for the rest of August”
Come on baby I’m begging you please
Just give me purpose for one night
Cut me up and put me back together
In any way your heart desires

Oh I don’t mean to sound morbid
But do you ever tired with just ‘you’ as a concept?
Same old dreams, same old destiny
No matter how you swerve on the road
You just end up at the same place as always
I just wanna mix and match myself until something sticks
Change my name, my gender, my race
Refusing to call one match-up undeniably me
Keep changing until something sticks
Keep changing till we’re heading somewhere else
Do you ever feel like that honey?
Then maybe we can help each other till we’re there

Sebastian Noël

Terrible As A Dick, Terrible As A Bitch

Gland’s are swollen, hair’s a mess
Eyes like a reptile, that’s if they’re awake
Hearts playing squish against my ribcage
London’s arches have fallen down
As I zip two and fro the town walls
Cos no place stocks my size 12’s
Least not unless I wanna take out a mortgage
Sulking the afternoon over a toffee exlir
Panic spending to justify the return ticket here
Spent the money on a 7" I didn’t even like

It’s tantrum time
Cos I’m tired of being the awkward element
None of my conversations seem to flow
“No it’s about more then the shoes” I said
My friend took to it like a Jehovah leaflet
“But I’m telling you” I said “It’s a sign of my pathway”
Glancing at his watch “Listen man I gotta go”
Maybe it’s something only people like me would know
Those of us who’ve been the caramel on the molar
Feet too buff for kicks, shoulders too broad for threads
Too tichy to be fat, too wide to be skinny
Never been that, won’t ever be this
“I hate to bother you but…” The motto of a life-time

I thought genetics could sneak the hint under the desk
For some semblance of the direction I could go
Yet for every second, a lady will whisper into my ear
“I wish I had your curly hair, your long nails or soft skin
Not to mention the manslaughter I’d commit for them eyelashes”
A story my thighs and hips could collaborate
And with the pay wall being so high
Is it any wonder so many young men cast away that identity
Tell the £75 periwinkles to fuck off
And embrace the 2 for deal on the heeled boots
Too poor to be a guy, but whatever I find out that’s on their head

Lnc0