Tag: dying

Fragile

There’s only so many times you can ignore
The little warning signs pulsating under your skin
The skipped beats, the little tremors and aches
That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna give it a try though
Hands over the ears, and the neurons
Running on performance specs from decades gone
Nothings gonna stop me from having fun
The spirit is willing, The soul is willing
But I’m willing to bet
It’s all due to collapse any second

Another round down during the next gig night
I’ll whisper in your ear all the things I’m gonna do
The velocity of youth still regulates in us all
But on my way out an objection creeps in
The shades turn Rouge, Ruby and Cinnabar
My legs unfold and constrict
I reset my stature with every twitch
“NOT THIS AGAIN, NOT NOW!”

I can’t even keep up with my own fabrication
The after image has overtook on the inside
Despite how I smirk or pose it can’t be denied
My bodies giving way to my limits
The man can never shape up with the myth
Another flutter in my chest as I protrude the mucus
How ever I came into the scene
I’m leaving as a mockery of the human form

“NO!” I fucking screech out
As I claw my way up the pavement
Blood trickling down my grip
As I tremble I grasp out into the air
To grab expression to fuel me
To grab a friend to help me
To grab a lass to love me
Anything to claw my way back to the living

My breathings heavier, my feet are collapsing
My ribs protrude further into my chest
Stab deeper into my lungs, hampering arteries
I’m coughing up something new everyday
The shell has failed me again
The bloody things one job it had
To spike the interest of the onlookers
Now they’ve gathered to see a corpse crumble
“Don’t just fucking gawk love
Slap the mirrors from your eyes
And help me up yeah?
My insides are begging to emigrate”

And I merge with the scene
Smelling of lynx and asphyxiation
The rise and fall of respiration
Transpire again and again
It may be too late for me
I may of wasted my time in self bondage
My primes passed me by
And I’m struggling to stay awake
Let alone be anyone’s best use of time
Let alone stave of a worthless title

Lnc0

The Inconvenient Youth [Aggy first draft]

Oh man you hate me don’t you?
I feel the tremors your golden plated artificial organs
You look at me on the street like a living cancer
Toting rags we’ve masqueraded as fashion
Look at him with the shoes on his feet
Look at him with the charisma in his psyche
You feel it’s not enough isn’t it?
All that moola you make from leaching of papa’s gut
That 6 figure cash drop you did fuck all to earn
You deserve that more then I deserve the Tesco’s everyday on my plate

You hate me don’t you?
You hate the way I have to take charity to survive
Hate the way I can still thrive in my suffering
Despise the way I get more from my ability to converse
What you couldn’t get from your 12 inch Gucci branded magic hand
Designed to inspire kinship in the masses
A gap in your balance just to get people to know your alive
I can garner that shit with my plastic in the minuses

God you hate me don’t you?
Hate the way I crack your view of a perfect society
The way I make you afraid for the well being of your future kids
The way I crush the glasses and make you see
The carnage you leave in your wake in your pursuit of a comfy life
That pesky tax bill in the way of another TOWIE fitness DVD
That pesky tax in the way of florescent lights for your car
That pesky tax bill that can save someone from sleeping on the gutters
That pesky tax bill that us ‘frauds’ have to fucking cough up on too
Semi-luxury? Fuck I’d hate me too

Shit man you reeeaalllyy hate me right?
I’m just another number on your balance sheet
Just another raindrop on your conscience right?
Remember when we could just gorge gorge gorge without can fucking guilt?
God I’m such a nuisance I feel it
Every one with paper in their wallets patrolling the streets
I see it in their looks they want me dead
If I was murdered in my sleep that’s one less kid on the dole
If I stopped breathing that’s more tax to go on the MP’s new car
If my heart stopped beating that’s one less vote against the wealthy

Stop the fucking pleasantries you HATE me I know it
You’d love nothing me to see me layed out on the streets
Choking on the air begging for crumbs
Fuck why even wait?
Come round at night and choke me in my bed
Smell that fucking tax cut as you feel the oxygen leave my trachea through your fingers
See the life drop from my eyes hear me choke in my sleep
But fuck it just another bum on the dole right?
Another less student to demonize
One less to antagonize when you learn they don’t align with the blue
One less to blame for your shit grades and crappy job
One less too force into the labour you wouldn’t do for gold, for just peanuts

Fuck your background or your family name
You fucking hate me but we’re the fucking same!
The destroyed youth squirmed under the heel of a boot
How can you not feel sympathy for your like?
When young people aren’t even on young people’s side what the fuck is wrong with everything!?
Who the fuck isn’t an enemy around here anymore?

– Lnc0