The Start Of The 4 Nights Of Hell

I still think I’m going to get married to you one day
As all the onlookers gaze with smug interpretations on their face
As if they could see everything 5 moves ahead
Maybe I can give them a little ask from years from the past

Cos I just wanna tell you, how much flows on the inside
Everytime life deals yourself on my plate
No matter how much fortification we erect around ourselves
We can’t ignore the life force we surge into ourselves
I’d give up any future that was guaranteed for me
To shatter the glass barricades for only a day
That glass I know has to be shattered one day, a mere delay
So I can one day tell you their’s no amount of time I can wait
Your still the only one who can breath the life veins into me
Reverse this petrified heart of mine and see

I’m in and out with the world’s pallet
And lord knows I tried, I tried so hard
To get them to understand my heart
Get them to flow into me
But try as I might there’s nothing I can do
I just can’t love anyone as much as I loved you
I can be good, I can be everything
I can be anything, I can be nothing
I can be all you want, I can be your blood,
I can be your soul and beat through and through
Cos I don’t love anyone at all
At least nowhere as much as I love you

But I know I won’t get married to you one day
There’ll be no satisfied theorist to give us away
I know I’ll be no good, I know I’ve never been good
Cos it’s gotta be him, never me and you

Lnc0

From the ‘The 4 Nights Of Hell’ series

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Little extra backstroy on this one, this poem was less written more ‘found’ on my hardrive, I must’ve written this while drunk at the end of a night out, at the start of the 4 nights these next few poems will be based around, thought I did punctuation and spelling corrections, I didn’t change anything, this is just what I wrote and it’s so sad to know there’s a part of me that’s hurting this bad

The Drunken Statment [W.I.P]

When the hunger escalates into a roar
All the fellow young ears start to perk
Spurned on by the illusion of a lovers ultimatum
The age fiction is over, let the hunger scream

Cos I’m young, free and innovative
Hexing Unagreable angles into a renaissance
None of you will know the alterations
As you gaze on my flawed image with awe

Cos we’re young, free and uncanny
And we won’t invigorate ourselves
So plug your thumbs into my neuro-network
And create a deva among deities

Lnc0

Attached [2015 Edit]

Teetering on your chair, toting a mugshot
That only your hitman could reveal in
On the night where the skies opened and the piss flowed
The shine clawing it’s way through the clouds, the night
To place a spotlight on your fretting character
Guiding me through the stairs and corridors

I could see your silhouette drenched in the nerves
Like a magnum melting on the seashore
Each bullet comes down with a thunderous crash
As your trying and kickstart that beat up Herse
A drink knocked out of your hands, a stride to the yard
A stain on the dashboard, a repugnant disgrace

I could sense that frustration from a mile away
There’s no climbing out of a wreckage like that
Misty eyed, stranded and shit out of luck
Hey, if you need a ride why not drive around in mine?
You were promised a cruise tonight and I’ll happily provide
I’ll take you round those curves she never could

How am I?
Nevermind
It’s never been on my mind
Pay no mind about mine

So I towed you back onto the freeway
50 miles down the boarder, there’s no going back now
I’ve dreamed of this feeling travelling up my skin
Ever since I walked through that door tonight

If only you could’ve felt my lips burn
Whenever yours came into my mind
It reduces years of cognitive thinking
Into a slave of mindless impulses

But even with this beating livewire
I know theres not much a girl like me do
But I know there’s one thing I can do
Something only a woman could do

So sit back
Enjoy the ride
Turn off your mind, I’ll be kind
I’m fine, as long as your mine

– Lnc0

A rewrite of this oldie

Shackled (W.I.P)

Another Wednesday night spent in solitary confinement
With the soulless drones that regulate the beer stained stools
Clutching my nectar with one hand
Sinking my fingers in L’Oreal tinted forests with the other
It’d be around this time I’d of gotten your call
Bet all our wages in on branded mental antiseptics
I’m sure we knew our smiles were never true
But stricken with the weekday blues, what else was there to do?

We’re all just a bunch of confused kids
Backed up against the walls of our own convictions
The stupid things we’ll do when we’re urged to make a choice
Monetary debts, emotional obligations and clueless detective work
We’ll hang out, in an ‘outdated since the naughties’ fashion
In after hours children’s parks, as if to inspire a sense of youth

Does the empty feeling ever stop?
Does being hollow ever go out of fashion?

Channelling the spirit of the Swedish brewery itself
With it’s export valiantly nestled in your hands
You’ll re-adjust your spectacles as your turn your glare skyward
As if you’ve just clocked on to the diamond moon at the shop window
Stamping your heels into the shreds of bark
You’ll make the vow you’ll never let this town get you down
And that you won’t stop until your writing smash winter fireplace hits
As the sunset rains in through the blinds of your shoebox
With such a scorch in your belly, a gleam in your eyes
I had to say you outshone the moon

So It breaks my belief; that a life can be well spent
When I still spot your shadows around this domain, well past the due date
Caressing the scars we left behind for a sense of comfort
Entertaining silhouettes like we didn’t notice each other instantly
It breaks my heart to say; but I think this town’s got us beat
We’re both already dead, I just don’t think we know it yet

Does the empty feeling ever stop?
Does being hollow ever go out of fashion?
Does the desolate feeling ever go away?
Does being vacant ever stop feeling so right?

You deserve better then this
You deserve better then us

An Ode To a Beached Whale

Taking cover within the wingspan of your lilac felt curtains
As beams of the day pass by the cracks in your cheeks
Consuming oxygen for the noble act of nothing
Since you lack the resources to rise

You bat away the tickles on your chin
As the claws of the unknowing trace a pattern on your face
Imagining all the feats you could’ve achieved
If only you had all these things that don’t exist

As if guided by strings, you make your contributions
At the foot of a paper thin democracy
You can’t find any thing to get your heart racing
To widen your eyes and get sweat on your palms

I know you’d lack the cells in your cranium
To mistake a 40 quid debt of forgotten memories
Of teardrops and routine mishaps to recite the next day
As even a ripple in the flow of your life

Just crawl back to the womb of your mattress
Every second sober to you is a second bored
You’ve lost your ability to see the beauty
Of the spells people create with their fingertips everyday

How could anyone be so bored?
How could anyone be so boring?
If you can’t see things my way
Then crawl back to that wingspan till you die
Your kind are a tax on life itself