Dear Sophie 4

It’s getting harder to write these letters to you again, it’s the awful cycle isn’t it? The more healthy I get the harder it is to admit to these weak sides of you, but it’ll only do good to keep repeating it, your real, your real, your real

Maybe it’s cos I’ve not seen to much of you lately, everyone’s getting back in touch over the holidays, I’ve kept preoccupied with even some more gigs booked, Domestic’s comeback! But your right to be sceptical, telling me in with that cute annoyed face of yours; “They only come back cos some things wrong In their lives, it’s not FOR you.”

I can’t deny that but fuck it, take what you can get. I’d like to think these things can operate the other way round, and it’s sweet your looking out for me. But maybe this is just how interaction works. We’re all solitary people and we clash together when we’re in the need to refill that social energy. I mean are we really any different you and I?

Shrugging it off
Lnc0

Dear Sophie 3

I did my last gig at the SKOPT today, that’ll be the last club meeting the crutch has been cast aside, anything I do now has to be off my own ass and back, geez that’s horrifying I’m already predicting horrible fates in my future. But I was happy to see you could turn up, sorry I didn’t speak to you for the longest time, I was trying my hand at being social, making sure I keep these people as friends considering there’s no obligation for them to ever speak to me again! But luckily for you familiarity will always win against me in the game of strangers, so I naturally found myself hanging out by the wall with you by the end of the night

“Shit man I fucked tha-”
“Shut the fuck up man” You immediately interjected “You did great, I’ve never seen you with such fire in your eyes in such a long time man, don’t let this slip through your fingers, do THIS forever”
You dunno how much I needed that, if anything your only bad thing you said was about the poem I did itself
“Your way to kind to that girl with your words, she doesn’t deserve it”
I decided to get my jacket and head to Purple Dog asap, I don’t want to have THIS debate with you again, fuck it lets get smashed

Mad for it ALLWAYS
Lnc0

Dear Sophie 2

I dunno if letter number 2 is far too early to be getting introspective, I guess that just means these things are doing their job right the fact I need to rationalize you into my speaking world makes me contemplate your existence. I’m trying to think of the first time you ever came into my life but I’m puzzled. Whenever I try to though it always comes back to my earliest memory of you, coming back home on the train from Norwich trying to swallow my very first break up

I swear I’m remembering these things wrong, surely I was dumped via text? Then why was I said on the way home, maybe I just knew I could feel it in the air. I was always told I could see these things “2 moves ahead” as it were. Maybe that’s why when I looked up from my seat you were sitting there. Carrying bags from your shopping spree, in your black shirt, white tank combo, with boots just a little too navy blue to go with your black jeans. You calmly just look at me like we already knew each other and just said “So… what are we gonna get up too when we get home?”

Always thinking backwards
Lnc0

Dear Sophie 1

I thought I better had start to write you these letters, bi-weekly, daily, hourly? I dunno, a random time to start considering how long we’ve known each other. As you know the doctors have been poking around more and more to help solve the problem of well… me. As people who’re good at their jobs should do they’re starting to ask the right questions “Do you hear voices in your head?” “Do you see things that arn’t there” of course I lied out of instinct but maybe I shouldn’t?

It’s been so long now Sophie, and you’ve done so many amazing things for me and we’ve been through so much, don’t you think you deserve to be talked about? Especially if it means helping me? Never fret I won’t let them do anything to you, no drug or psycho whatevers in the world will take you away from me. But fuck man, where do you even start with something like that? It’s a daily reality for us but could only ever ring alarm bells loud and clear if you were ever vocalized, that’s even assuming they believe you exist!

I’m hoping that’s what these letters will do, I can get used to talking about you letter by letter, and maybe people can see what a stand up babe you are

Love
Lnc0