Shout out to the side beas

There’s a hole in my soul
There’s a hollow in my passenger seat
My future set in muck
Does that make it all in vain?

…

You mean the times cruising up the country
With my lady speeding toward the sunset
Cos our knack for being late is impeccable
The way we scour the place top to bottom
The way we share a wine in a hidden slice of heaven
The way she shakes my soul with the hips Eros blessed her with
All in vain was it?
Oh fuck off

This thing we got going here is perfect
And it’s a thing people never think to perfect
They say it’s just the puppy love you feel on the way
To be discarded when the gold hits the finger
God bless Polyamory for providing another way
To keep that energy alive in it’s own right
“But after a while surely you gotta….”
My guy, we ain’t gotta do a damn thing

The nesting thing? Yeah that’s for someone else
But I can hear them chiming in now
“Oh that’s good till you find…”
Find who? I got a future built for two
Any endgame without her is not one worth reaching
Who’s the governing body for relationships anyway?
Do you get yours verified? I never knew you had too
But I got the backing of: Me, Myself and I. So I’ll be fine

Cos it’s nearly been two rotations around the sun
But she dominates my thoughts like a schoolyard crush
Comes into my daydreams like she’s entitled to it
Keeps me paralysed from her perfect ass to perfect mind
But that’s from the Patriarchal point of view
Cos I know how it really is
I’m her summer break, her holiday home in Yarmouth
And I thank god everyday she occupies my time
It’s something they never rate on the silver screen
Domestic bliss isn’t the end of the voyage
People like us want it all; we’re greedy with pride
But I expected a coffee with my Sunday roast
But I got the whole damn parfait, so hold off on the meat
I need a lifetime or two to get to grips with her

So shout outs to my fellow side beas
And the time frames that we make ecstatic
They’re the milestones of my life
It’s so good it’s got the bystanders jealous
They’re trying to throw every Monogamous lore they can at us
But when you’re holding me for ransom on platform 4
While waiting on that midnight train back home
Who can blame ‘em?

Sebastian Noël

Honest Lovesong

You’re an apex of affection in someone’s life
Don’t that mess you up?
Someone mirrors your gaze of an unrelenting infatuation
Doesn’t that proper fuck you up?

I know over time it’s gotta grate
How I take an off cuff I love you
Not a face value, but begrudgingly
Like a Evangelist at a Prehistoric museum
But I wish I could convey it correctly to you
How absurd it is your here with me tonight

I know you mean well, I know your heart swells
But when you put my name at the end of your love
It feels like I’ve jumped in from another timeline
A history free from my glowing failures
You say my name but you gotta mean someone else
It only makes sense if your seeing anyone else

It should go without uttering a single syllable
That I adore you even on a molecular level
Like ivy climbing up a historical abode
I’m a intrusive element feeding on another beauty
So when you tell me the ways I bring a smile
It feels like hieroglyphics on a birthday card
It feels like mercury spreading on my skin
It doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t feel right
I fucking hate how this feels
Please I just need to be left alone tonight

Oh of course I love you too
But you’re treating poison like porcelain

Sebastian Noël

Good Attention

You taught me the value of good attention

It wasn’t long into a muggy Friday morning
That I could feel each individual cell of my makeup
Being analysed to their very atoms
With the same curiosity a infant gives it’s surroundings
Diagrams and graphs in your mind
As you burn holes into my sides
Like a figure in a collectors shelf
I surrender my life as a mere visual for a moment

It’s something I’ve needed for months now
Kisses and caresses with just a look
It engulfs the creases of my stomach
The stretches on my sides, the hairs on my back
You just say; “keep doing what your doing”
All you wanna do is give good attention
It pushes the blood in my veins
It places a good personality in the cockpit
It contradicts the paranoia
That gaze refutes a million doubts in one swoop

Declarations can be overwritten, promises can be broken
But there’s no refuting the value of good attention
And when the weight of observation becomes too heavy
You cradle your head upon my lap

Sebastian Noël

They Don’t Give It A Name (V.2)

Improvising the last act on the Bakerloo Line,
Finding any excuse to waste the lingering hours.
It didn’t need to be a crescendo or a climax;
Just to be in proximity, slap a seal on it; that’ll do.
I know that’s the kind of lie you’d spin to polish small talk
But I reckon you really meant it.

I’m nearly on the end laps of my 20’s
But I’m still so fucking terrified.
Each second planned in my company,
The responsibility has me shaking in my boots.

I’m putting your hands on the trigger
And I’m trusting you not to pull,
Even though you should probably shoot.
Statistically you should shoot –
In fact it only benefits you to shoot –
But the curiosity comes in seeing whether or not you do.

And it’s not like I’m getting down on one knee,
If you think I’m gonna drop a ‘Love You’ now,
You’d better expect this song to end a 4/4 early.
But when we’re rationing the heat in our bones,
Inside a Turkish pop-up sandwich shop,
As the carousel casts a neon shine upon your profile:
It gives me something I ain’t had in a while,
It gives me a motive to crack a smile again

We’re taking refuge from the spacial oblivious and decidedly blind,
It’s as if we’re avoiding being in the shot.
While the taste of cigarettes on your breath lingers on mine:
My favourite cuisine to a freezing Sunday evening.
I’m gonna remember this night, no matter
When I’m dribbling in rocking chairs, I’ll remember it.

In the declaration age all this has gotta come off underwhelming,
But if only I could articulate what it meant.
Cos I felt so safe, warm, I felt cared for
Yeah, we’re beautiful, impossible, we’re invincible.
For you that’s gotta be just another weekender,
But if only I could tell you what that meant.
I ain’t gonna break out the engagement ring or mortgage,
But can I see you again? Can I see you again always?

Sebastian Noël

Ode To Crush Poetry

Oh my darling little fallback, if not you then who?
I know it’s been a while since I wrote about you
In the millions of your easy to emulate forms
Long divisions of calculation to respect my current contract
Or little sugar bites of those who I chase to break that contract
Oh what one of two could I scribe down this week

I don’t mean to disrespect what you’ve given me
My baby steps, my identity
My heart smeared on my dinner plates
Oh and I know we could be good still
But the puppa’s gone, kick down the cage and got out
We’ve persevered so much together, but the wars done
I need you as much as you need me
And I know you don’t need my broke-ass life
Flooding Tumblr with more shite then before

It’s been a gas but I gotta find more to scribe
Like my existence, my tremors, my ideals
Something a little more permanent to leave behind
Then another crush poem about a theoretical idea
Of half a person I reckon of from behind a text message
Who’ll end up fucking me off before I’ve written the last line
Oh how!? Can I crush when my hearts flat!
And fresh out of heart to give
Any more crushed and it’ll be a replacement credit card
And over what? Two-bit identity queens who’ll drop you
Oh no more crush poetry, no more crush poems
On people that don’t deserve a second of my time
Much less the value of my immortality

Oh crush poetry, we’ve been through so much
You’ll be my only high school sweetheart for sure
But my little hearts out of bruises to take
My romantic calculations need to be more precise
Much less for you, but for my sanity
You deserve a lot better then what I’ve become
But there’s no shortage of heirs to the throne
Hearts falling hard, every single day
I know I’ve left you in capable hands
Hands of those with gallons of innards
Just waiting to be crushed

Effortless Crush

The chrysanthemum can’t compete with her pallet
A blinding radiate for those who didn’t come prepared
Manipulating the very leafs around her
Commanding the daffodils to bloom as she walks by
Giving the peasants permission to offer their gaze
Giving the insects pardon to dock on her legs
Sinking into the domain like she’s one with the planet
To be in such proximity, what a life!

– Lnc0

Coast Crush

Cat’s eyes, a bow, emerald earnings and a rabbit tooth necklace
A black dice bracelet, a Minnie Mouse pin,
A goats skull tattoo, and a pitch black dose of Manic Panic
Just some of the tools you use to fish-hook my attention in the cafeteria
As the light ricochets from your jade skull ring
And preforms a calypso radiance, through the rabble and catches my eyes

2 set’s, a drama class and a lack of knowledge of Manson’s discography
The only things that separated us from beyond the nod in the hallway
The wit of the tongue spies a cobblestone path through mutual friends
And drunkenly made brothers, that was laid out before me
But if I ever got to your door how could I captivate you?
A lexicon of lullabies and artistry vs. a note left on the fridge

But I can’t keep my mind out of the picture show
A 24 hour double feature of maybe’s and possibles
Of spending 3.50 on a return to the coast
Cross-legged in your room in our Sunday Best
Sing-songing along to Nicole Dollganger
Under the porcelain surveillance of your doll collection
And your lemon and lime bearing predecessor
Gulping down the sour taste of the looming Pythagoras homework

You could send that weary neck off to lunch for a while
Put my shoulder blades to the test outside the tourist trap
Comparing toy capsule trinkets and penguin bar one liners
Turning a blind eye and letting the weekend roll away
Maybe I could ignite the Stella bottle and make you a fireworks show
Ignoring the niggling boundaries of reality
Maybe we could take the next coach out of town
Ignoring the fact this is all still a day dream
I never left the screening, still stuck to the chewing gum in my seat
No amount of accidental bumps between lessons can turn this into a documentary

A documentary that would end with a stroll from the Cod-boy And Son’s
After spending my mum’s bus money on rounds of Soul Blade
And onslaught of red hue revealing the lizard contacts in your eyes
As we pick up the pace, your way to outrun the curfew
Spend the rest of the night sing-a-longing to Nicole Dollganger
“Yeah my baby has a baby, but it’s not me”

A peanut butter sandwich and Yazoo milkshake later I get out my seat
Slogg my arse empty handed to get grilled in double science
We pass glances at the exit, as you head to double drama
Swallow another day where we stay as we are: Strangers

– Lnc0