Explode!

The tick of the clock is maddening

The frozen peas look antagonising

Your horror movie nights laid out

With no chance of deviation

Your soul screams but it gets the gag

But it’s not enough to give you silence

Your old school mates at the bar tonight

As he slides a what if question your way

What would he say? Would he like it?

Has he done this before?
What’s he into?
Has he seen you like this for long?

Does he imagine you naked in his bed?

What does his neck taste like?

How would his fingers feel down your back?

You tally up the results

I don’t think you wanna accept what you found

Feel the chains around your arms

As they tighten round your chest

The bombs in your hands

And your fingers are tracing the detonator

Feel the blood around your lips

As it all turns into the dust

The glacier begins to thaw

Breathe it in, breathe it in

With a clear conscience

For the very first time

You go home, and you can only remember he said no

His name, his face, become bonus features

The narrative isn’t up to scratch anymore

Your sense of control has fucked off home

Look at him chewing on his mashed potatoes

Without a care in the fucking world

You see red, you shoot daggers at his head

The keys to the cell are in sight

End the plight, take back control of your life!

Pull the trigger, come on baby! Let it explode!

Sebastian Noël

Domestic Bliss

I would do a lot of under cuff stuff
To get a million miles from your position
Forced to swallow coffee drops
And perform the ventriloquism required
To perceive the illusion your gorging on the same
Delicately you were on moonlight ridden nights in the park
Inviting a kaleidoscope of fauna in your a gaped jaw
As your follicles all shoot out, like grasping for photosynthesis

And tell me, is he courteous enough to believe the lie?
As he takes vague sentences and defiant dodges
As you would a wedding vow
Cheesy smiles and arm prisons installed on your shoulders
While you go home to the sex your not having
Something about being 1/12th of a wish puts him off
Does the molasses of guilt pour from his gullet?
While you spend another Saturday night, deciding your Rustlers Flavour

What of your intention? Or least your means to indulge them?
Is the fate of cobweb covered antiques
Something that really speaks to you?
What of the voice calling to nostalgia?
As you beam with pride at the foot of V-bar
While transcribes get passed around the joint
But those Chinese whispers come back to haunt you
Why not release the Molotov?
And remember the rumours front to back
From mildew stained bath tiles
To the majestic caress of the hotel sheets
It kills me to see you drown in dissatisfaction
So won’t you trade a quip or two with me?
And transition to the recollection of a life time

Sebastian Noël

Aftermath – B-Side

Tell me has there ever been a time you’ve met me
That wasn’t a result of trading stern words with him?
If not it were a long while hence
Back to a time where our worries reached an apex
When wondering if we could make it under the sheets before dark
A far cry from the padlocks of stresses that keep us bound
You find yourself in an Alcatraz on earth
Where even your tongue is cuffed to the ceiling

So when you tell me your desperately searching for me in him
Honey, how else am I supposed to take that?
Other then a silenced vow of devotion?
Morse code hidden in the small talk
If I could upset the delicate balance we got going here
I’d reciprocate entirely
Take you in my arms, present you with my beating chest
Then I’d ask “Why search for me, when I’m right here?”

Cos I’ve always been your voluntary slave
And everyone, our friends, our sisters, they all know it
But not to speak out of line or anything
I just wish for once; you were free to speak honestly
Command me to connect with your lips
Then I’ll decommission the ground beneath you
We’ll fall into an uncertain abyss for sure
But we’d be falling arm in arm

Cos truth be told I’ve been looking for you too
In the hearts and minds of an uncaring and cold public
I’ve come damn close to finding you again sure
But no close call matches up to the original
They all took a step away cos they all knew
My heart was just on loan to them
Still waiting for it’s original owner to come back
To take it back into their possession

So won’t you take a Molotov to your domestic bliss
Then take back what’s rightfully yours?
Cos if I was tailored for loving you
Then I’m just a boy scout stuck in the Amazon without you
It takes so little to inflame the fuse
But the wires around your throat hold you back
I hate to end the romcom before the liar revealed
But… There is truly nothing I can do

The sunset’s serene that’s guaranteed
And everyone’s waiting for it
But if Juliet misses the casting call
Then again… What exactly is it we can do?

What am I supposed to do
When there’s nothing anyone can do
When I’m only alive to love you
But there’s shit all anyone can do

What to do?
No one can control a heart or a mind
What’s a boy to do?

Sebastian Noël

Don’t Fret

Could he, would he, should he, might he
The diagrams never seem to match reality
A submerged clue to the mystery of adultery
Or just the aimless flight of youth?
No matter how much you dig through the wardrobes

So don’t fret darling, don’t fret
Cos it’s not like you’ll accept the truth
If it comes to you in any other way
So don’t fret darling, don’t you fret
Just close those weary eyes, and hope
You might open up your third eye one day

What if you found the key in his trainers
And unleashed the swarm from Pandora’s Box?
Would it detract from the overall objective
The security of the cuddles and kisses come moonlight
What value could the truth hold for you
When ignorance is your only path to bliss

Lnc0

Confused For The Sake Of Being Confused [2016 Remake]

For a romantic debut, I think I could’ve done better
Just to think, nary 2 nights ago we were rolling in the mud
Exerting hot air with no substance to it what so ever
But does it matter? Two teeny bopers shooting the shit
Aiming nothing substantial to be immortalised in the stars
I can’t think of nothing more beautiful in hindsight

Such a cosmic contrast to a classic Essex bust up
Hanging on the thread of another request to be put on hold
Twiddling my toes, finding ways to kill time
While a flood of possibilities pass me by the roadside
Did you do it in the cubicles? Or in the cinema?
Fantastic ways to waste your time on the weekend
I’ve no doubt your trading sucker punches with another fella
Already a jab on it’s own, but the part that really stings
Is the confirmation that love wasn’t the motive to this crime
You just could, that’s it

I try to put it to the back of my mind
This is my first love, and maybe I just don’t know any better
Maybe everyone goes through this too! It’s just process
That’s the key I use to get out of this prison
I’ve curated for myself with absolute precision
With every imagine conjured up designed to incite anguish

So I get my coat and stroll out
The evening’s air has done nothing but aid me thus far
And then I’m greeted by a gorgeous sight
The sight of you patrolling the night with him round the bend
We exchange the looks
I want to scream out, but my mouths locked tight
It’s the restraints I used to lock myself back in the prison
But not before I turn my head to check what I had seen
To check that’s it’s really the end
It’s agony

So I’m back to serving my sentence
Except my imagination’s become fact
A buzz on the phone
The sounds of a moan
I think I knew it all along
But confusions a great delaying tactic ain’t it?

Lnc0

————————————————————————-

As hinted at above, this poem is a remake, infact it’s a remake of THE VERY FIRST POEM I EVER ‘PROPERLY’ WROTE. I’ve never posted it cos y’know Tumblr wasn’t a thing in my life in 2007, but here it is, written by 17 year old me in all it’s embarrassing glory:

By the time the moon has made the lap another 2 times
Your off slinging your hooks with some other guy
To think 2 rotations ago i was sure you was mine
But now i’m a victim of change and at the mercy of why

I wanna be at home and to go alone
I’m not sure anymore
From When to Who and Why and back to Where
I’m shrouded in doubt

Doubt that love was ever the motive behind this most henious crime

I’m strolling about the town again, to find a preaty sight
The sight of you and 2 other guys patroling round the bend
We exchange the looks;
sad in
glad out
but the mouths are shut tight
I turn my head for one last check, to check it’s realy the end

I wanna be close and i wanna be away
I’m not thinking anymore
I rush back home, but i’m feeling regret in confort
I’m left wanting more

So i sit here, on the night alone, only with a brew to call my own
A buzz on the phone
The sounds of a moan
Just please, i need a minuite alone

You can’t put me down for being mad for wearing this frown
It’s just that i can’t bealive i was up aginst half the fucking town

[17 year old] Lnc0

Not My Home To Demolish

If you un-fastened the straps on our mind
Then you’d see neither of our intentions are righteous
You can drop the nice guy bollocks now
No good boy sulks around this part of town

I got personality painted demons to quell
Plus another night of suicide to postpone
And I’ve been where you are now too many times
I’d recognize that shit eating grin you wear on anyone

I don’t know what she did to incur your wrath
But I hope it cuts her up inside
When you print a molar shaped insignia
Right on the showcase angel that is my neck
I hope the bridges you were aiming for get burned
As you cup the silhouette around my breast
And I hope you start to feel sick
When you look upon my glorious disease
Inside your bedsheet the next morning
And you realise the gravity of what you’ve done

And the gravity of the devil you’ve now committed with

Evil

I can imagine you now in your basement
Grinning by candlelight
Picking up and arranging chess pieces
All with our names etched into the sides
Only the diabolical thinking of a puppeteer
Could’ve arranged tonight’s events this way

“Oh what a coincidence!” She exclaimed
“Fancy running into sour-puss here”
As you bump into me, at my local round
There’s nothing coincidental about precise timing
Just the right amount of time after my split
The right balance of loneliness and rational thinking
“Oh I’m so sorry to hear that, but how weird!
I’ve not long split since my fella too”
So now the gaunlets really been thrown
You know your available, and you know I wanna hurt her
I don’t even have the care to play along with the facade
So I just ask “My place or yours?”

Oh man you really are a villain aren’t you?
No a sign of remorse or regret in your eyes
Just a grin of ecstasy as you lead me to your lair
Like a black widow dragging back her prey
You can feel the rubble of foundations in your fingers
You can smell the burning of bridges
It brings you back to life
Returns your skin to it’s natural glow
You got blood on your lips
And sludge pouring out of your eyes
Playing by the rules was never your style
And playing nice was really suffocating you
It gives freaks like us a purpose
So drag me down and give my life meaning

Signs of the devil remain, where you lay your hands
I stain your bleach blonde locks, when I grab your hair
You poison my blood when you bite into my veins
I mark the skin around your neck with my grip
You bruise my face, whenever spasms dictate
Sink your fangs into my limbs
To keep my consciousness in this world
And serve me severed thighs, with your nail line
You scream like the valkyries
As your 4 support beams begin shake
Your entire temple collapses onto me
That filthy grin, only served by a fallen angel
The thought of those we’ve just stabbed in the back
Keeps those spasms going for another second
We’ve seeped into each others blood stream
It’s a pact now, a deal with evil

Safety Net’s A Bitch [W.I.P]

You couldn’t find the time to squeeze us in
Not when it’s 2 hours left until the derby
But you’ll be fine, no need to sigh
Not when old Brain’s waiting by your bed side
So a pat on the head, a kiss on the cheek
And I watch you trot out of the door
I’ll just sit here and document 8 rows
Some good, most allright
Finishing off the last of our spiked lemonade
It keeps the utensils in the drawers for another night

You can’t find the heart to miss the showing tonight
Not when it’s a Netflix season premiere
So it’s due again the next fortnight I spose?
So a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek
And another round of spiked coke cola
I’ll sit here and document another 8 rows
Each one being worse and worse then the last
Contemplating where my life even went

3/31

He’s Not Always Like This

You’re not the only thing in your orbit anymore
But you’d never catch that with a still life of us
Sullen eyebrows and penny drop silences
Hypnotised spouses and distress signals
I try to break through the atmosphere with choking
Inquires and concerns squeeze through a closed windpipe
But I get the feedback of a crackle in a crash site
We’re joint at the hip, but I’m so alone

I make the same impact entering your vicinity
That a knock knock joke makes at a funeral
The disinterest is making me dip dye into madness
Nothing baits it more then your own thoughts echoing off the wall
I need to start taking chemistry on the side
Cos I don’t know which formula hidden in the air
Turns my cries for help into a defensive reaction from you
Each outstretched arm like a knife in your hide
Each yearn for affection; a threat to your precarious ego
Not when your bacon is smeared on these support beams
The change of oil, scented candles, a premium dota account
Like fuck should I dare take that way from you
So I guess I’ll sit back and take in the atmosphere
We locked ourselves in here, but I’m still so alone

I just really like you
About as much as you’ve become sick of me
I keep liking you more and more
Maybe at the same rate of you become weary of me
We’re on route to be betrothed, but I’m so alone

I miss giving rasberries on your neck
I miss tickling the inside of your palms
I miss neglecting the stars for a full view of you
I really like you, but I’m so alone

Now I have no idea where I am
Leaving a leeches impression on his neck
Leaving a tally with my nails on the toilet cubical
I feel weird
My skin feels like it’s peeling off my arms
As he runs his fingers down my silhouette
My spit feels foreign, My tears feel like waste
And as I whisper worship to him, he breathes life into me
I don’t know him and he can do it, anyone can
Anyone who isn’t you can breathe life into me
I don’t like him, but now I feel I’m in reality again
I feel so weird

I can’t stand missing you, when I see you everyday
I reek of substance and perspiration
But it’s still not enough to raise an octave out of you
A nod, a twitch if I’m lucky, and then back to null
I feel super weird, I feel like I wanna die
I take his 50 and your old parka
I take anything I call my own into a bag
I dodge tear stains and haste together a cliff note
“Fuck you
Anyone could do it and you choose not too
Just fuck you!”
I jump into his car and make a dive out of your field
You’re the only thing in your orbit now
But did you even notice anything different
Can anyone else do it too?
Now I’m across the toll booth
I feel so fucking weird
Now I’m really alone
And now I don’t know what I feel…

October Poetry Month 1/31

Let’s Make This Annual

thetartanprelude:

As if on cue, the second the sun hits the earth
The barricades collapses and the messages begin
I think it’s time to dip into the life savings
And think about showing my face around your town again

As much as I’ve dearly missed, hearing the little cracks in your voice
There was no way to open communication, at any other time of the year
Education you see, she is a cruel mistress
She yanked the chain around your neck, whenever you came near
With such little time you’d never slink under your fella’s radar

But all that fades from the grey matter
The second I step off that train
With that grin of yours greeting me
Then it becomes clear
That summer has only just started

You start to lose track of the days, after the third night of haze
Waking up on the floor, With your head resting on someone’s door
But the back pains are worth it in the end
When you open your eyes with your head nested in my chest

I would’ve emptied my bank account and paid, just to live in this moment till my grave
With fingers travelling through your hair, I kiss your head as we move to the chairs
I know I couldn’t be the only one during them late Friday nights
Perched on the edge of my bed watching the calendar for this day

How can this feeling ever be considered wrong?
Spread on fields of green in each other’s arms
Come here, I’ll make you forget all about him
If you just take me back four years

My summer can’t begin until I’ve seen you
My year can’t move on until I’ve held you
My winter gets colder when you’re not in it
My life’s a little more dull when you’re not a part of it

I went to try and re-write this one today and thought “Fuck it, kinda nailed it first time” :L

– Lnc0

Let’s Make This Annual