Nah

For a victim, you’re sure not above devious tactics.
But did you really think that shit would fly a 67th time?
Drip feeding your attention like it’s a show above 40 karat gold?
I’m sure we got better things to be getting on with.

So go on: What brought it on this season?
The realisation your admirers where out of sight?
Has your ego been feeling dry as of late?
Just fuckin’ bored?
Or maybe you’ve come to THAT conclusion again?
No matter how you try and drag new blood to your feelers,
The talk is small and minds are minuscule.
They have the charm of software programmers,
And the grip of a Rich Tea biscuit.
Oh they’re all so stupid compared to us, aren’t they darling?

The cheek of it, to clap your hands
And expect the patter of little feet on your inbox.
But my dear don’t you think;
That after 7 years perched on the pedestal
Maybe be a year too long with fuck all to show for it?
Do you honestly wanna make it 8?

Is it really too much to bare?
To see other people provide the things I need?

Sebastian Noël

No Ambition Blues

I’m an A student running on D fuel
You put that together and you get a C life
And that was a fine way to live for me
I definitely never asked for the greenlight to ascend
But with your eyes drenched in tears
And your hands tied by a freshers wristband
You’re not letting me have a choice in the matter
Progress or perish, the narrative my Dear John contains

Nirvana is what we make of it, so what if mine’s on the ground floor?
With the ice cold burgers from the local caff’
Decor as gloomy as the staff, as miserable as the weather
You’d look up at me from your mouldy egg sandwich
Playing D.I.Y Pictionary with a few napkins and my Biro
But still ‘Gone With The Wind’ is out of my artistic scope
You fight through the aesthetics and conjure a smile
That’s when I theorised that we could withstand any pressure

But you’re content to get other people involved
“You could do so much good for the world”
But I don’t want to do the world any fucking good
I just want to do you some good
Evaporate the floods from your vision
Flow life back into your tired face
Fill a silent living room with your laughter
Calm you down when the family sends an opinion
That’s all the good I wanna do
Thoese are the accomplishments I hang on the fire place
Don’t send me off on a Hercules errand
I have no will to harness what I’ve got to offer
You’re where the ambition starts and ends
So let me sink the flag pole with you and a call it a life

Sebastian Noël

Legion

An ancient infantry tactic, resurrected and rebranded for 2016
I think they call it “The Esteem Team” these days
All to get out of meeting your lost love’s gaze
Cos who knows what it’d stir if we got empathy involved

Surrounded by the lighthouse beacons
Why you gotta show me your back again?
With your eyes fixated on nothing
Acting like your above the entire planet?
But your scouts gave up the ghost
Giving me the up and down, filing the scriptures
Like a flock of bees relaying to their queen
You can see everything without looking at me once

But that begs the question, why the cabaret?
What is it your hoping to keep out of view?
Don’t you like the implication that naturally follows
With looking a fellow homosapien in the eye?
It’s the only indicator that you still kept a part of your humanity
But what then? When the weasels whisper back to your ears?
I’m not gonna stay invisible for your convenience
I won’t flash puppy dog eyes to fuel your narrative

Cos I know it’s not what you wanna hear
But I’m doin’ just fine, even if unlike you
I may be lacking the trench coat romance
But maybe I’m better then ever
Free to say what I do and don’t like
Without a vice grip choking my personality out

And does it creep you out
To see all the boys and girls in the bar
Handing out stares like they’re charity?
Creating more and more evidence as they go
That life continues outside your storybook
And that we’re not waiting on the bench
Counting down the seconds to be written back in
Cos the sequel might just outsell the original

So while the platoon’s still in the legion formation
You best retreat to the corner of the place
Cos what you saw as power, was sweet life blooming
And that’s something that is no ones to take
You see these vanilla cream enlistees?
The one’s you spoke of like a raisin in a Victoria Sponge
They offer me the Parma Violet quips
All while intending to leave me intact
Somehow, I think I’ll survive you

Sebastian Noël

Heeey boys and gurls, my friend Amara posted her first article on sluttygirlproblems 10 tips for getting over a break up (claasssic) and its a great read you should aallll check it out

Also, can lowkey confirm everything in it is true

The XXXXXXXXX series

Here’s a compilation of them poems I christen the ‘XXXXXXXXX’ series in what is in many ways a chronological order of events, some of these take years before I finish them so if you want to see my heart be destroyed in a canonical timeline, now you can!

1) XXXXXXXXX
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147258028267/xxxxxxxxx

——————————————————————————–

2) Byakko
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/143784812282/byakko

3) Another Draft Of History
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/146711143547/another-draft-of-history

4) Feeder
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/145360464887/feeder

5) Detachment Blues
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/143989454096/detachment-blues

6) Being Honest
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147257267742/being-honest

7) Aftermath
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/147258954067/aftermath

Sebastian Noël

Aftermath

It’s out of my hands
I gotta keep reminding myself of that
It’s all the past, the handiwork of Luke
That’s not got a whole lot with the person you are now

But what to do now?
As I said I’ve come out a clone of you
Maybe though…. That ain’t so bad
If life’s a repetition I could get another shot
But maybe as the mistress this time
Maybe everything I felt for you
Statistically someone could feel that for me?
Could I be the conclusion to a fleeting heart?

Imagine such a thing!
Their face would animate daybreak as I enter the room
All my actions and decisions becomes to their liking
They’d forget to dream, cos reality is indistinguishable
Every inch of my body is their idolisation
They’d fetishize my very existence
Every time I crash they’d reveal in bringing be back up
In fact they’d take a perverse pride in it!

It’s gotta happen one day right?
In this world where people go out of there way
Not to even know me
It’s got to happen even for a little shit tyke like me
To penetrate the smog that surrounds me
And see their future….

As much as the romantic would like to proclaim
How I’d chase you to the ends of the earth
Force every atom to prove my love to you
Proper ‘Notebook’ it y’know?
I know there’s no way in hell
You’re trapped in domestic bliss, no thanks to me
But I don’t wanna carry the blame anymore
It’s 1 to 1,000,000 in finding a new love
But I’m liking them odd’s
I won’t lie and say the door isn’t left open or anything
But maybe in time luck will be on my side
And someone will reward devotion by returning it

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

XXXXXXXXX

A burden lifted, a job relieved
Must’ve been Christmas come earlier
Like if the addicts stash grew legs
And filed the restraining order itself

Oh XXXXXXXXX
This is good for us I swear
You’ll miss the biscuit tin rises when taken away
But when your gorging on the 5-star moments
As your creation takes centre of an exhibition
While your published 2nd half to be, he grabs you tight
Kisses you on the head, and tells you how proud he is
You won’t be missing us then I promise

Oh XXXXXXXXX
Dry your eyes princess, this is no time to fret
There’s no glory keeping the Griffin in the cage
You were never mine, you belonged to the Gaia
To fuel those needing souls with inspirations
So they can join you sipping wine at the Tate Modern
Tell the kids it’s just a matter of time
Tell them we can all be like you XXXXXXXXX

Oh XXXXXXXXX
Know that despite time, I’ll always love you
For anymore I’ll doubt such a sappy claim
But for you it’s a sure fire
It’s just I’m a mystery to myself
And I’m a weaker man for it
No need for you to get caught in this mess I’m in
I’ll take the bullet, I’ll survive the bleeding

And when we come across each other again
When we lock eyes in the street
You’ll be wearing the nicest outfit
Arm in arm with an Adonis
You’ll look my way
And I’ll look back with a smile
Cos I know I made the right choice
Oh I’ll never escape loving you XXXXXXXXX
Only love can motivate such a suicide
But don’t worry I’ll make my own way

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series
Originally written 6 years ago, tarted up in 2016

Being Honest

It doesn’t make it any better being honest
Walking down Old Heath road with an explained expression
Didn’t exactly make the times any easier to swallow
Saying the scimitar lodged in my gut may be forever

And what if I become honest with the scripture too
Paint colourful metaphors about the daily life
How the morning toasties taste worse and worse
How my face is succumbing to age and pruning up
How I’ve lost all motivation to keep in shape
You’re lost to the first guy who’ll raise their fist

So what’s the point?

Recollection hangs around like a spectre
Inciting the grmiore of comparison to ruin the mood
How can I progress in the world with this curse looming
Cos I couldn’t help but notice she can’t carry a joke like you can
She ends things 1 punch line too short
She doesn’t get as silly, not prone to knocking things over
Doesn’t get so excited that she screams through her laugh
Or says a diss so loud you command silence in the room

And we talk she sticks to the safe havens
Always people and events again and again
She wasn’t born a great person not like we were
You couldn’t get us away from out ideas
We swear we’re gonna make it in some way
And if we brought up something we didn’t know
There’s no popularity contest: We just don’t know
And we’d be excited to be taught by our favourite person

And when we make our way home
I can’t help but notice she’s not as experimental as you
She doesn’t take the lead like you did
You were sub at heart but not afraid to lay your demands down
There’s no flow with her, not like we’re in sync at all
You were so far on the wavelength you finished my thoughts
And if we wanted to try something new?
No demand was to taboo to see the other smile

But it’s time to accept the dealers hand
There’s no other option but to move on
Into the hands of the less inclined public
The kind to make a roll call based on minutes
“His name isn’t Simon and he wears his ring like THAT!?”
Oh joy, and to think I have to fight for their affection
I dunno if that’s the way round it should be
It’s all statistics, it’s all defensive
No way to let sweet love bloom
When everyone’s hiding a knife behind their masks

The nagging sense that follows from wake till break
Well it alleviates when we wasted any time together
But why don’t you value that? Like all others do?
“I don’t need a best friends” you exclaim
But without irony bust your romances lack of synergy
The key to our woe’s is staring us right in our faces

The novelists dream is right here on our path can’t you see
What’s keeping your veil firmly wrapped XXXXXXXX?
I can’t vision the rewards in store that keeps your back to me
A domestic bronze medal is your ambition? Just seems silly

My friend’s still tease me about it you know
“So are you still in love with XXXXXXXXX?”
Did anyone need confirmation?
I’ve left my psyche at the mercy
Of schizophrenics, narcissists and neurotics
To beat me into the perfect man for you
But it’s still not enough for you
Well nothing would be enough for you
You’re not in the race, you’re not on the market
But just for the 0.1% odds I thought…. Maybe
You’d be enticed by the things in your dreams
But reality bites, don’t it XXXXXXXXX?

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

Will I Do, For You?

A cleaned up version of an unfinished poem I found
I reckon I started this way back in 2011

He doesn’t listen to you, he doesn’t return your calls
He’s done one on you ain’t he?
Chewed you up and spat you out proper ain’t he?
And no message you spend in a bottle
Will ever reach his shores
You’ve been hustled out of your intimacy

You can’t stop going over the scenario
All the possibles and probably could’ves
The next holiday, your first child’s name
But you’ve been hoodwinked good and true
It pains me to see the pain crawl on your face
But I can’t help but succumb to a grin
This is the most I’ve ever seen you in a week
I always want to see you, but only now you agree

You can’t get the boy you want
But you can get me, I guarantee
You always had me whether you knew it or not
You had me good and proper you did
Cos I never feel more at home at all
Unless I’m sharing the same soil as you
As we see the day to an end
On a cul-de-sac hillside, wondering why

I know I’m not the working class atlas
I know I’m lagging on the witty pace
But nothing amounts to the glee
I feel when you’re in my vicinity
But maybe that’s just dead selfish of me
You might be better keeping me at bay

Sebastian Noël

Another Draft Of History

If minds could break out
Of the matter that confines them to our heads
I’d sore across the collective conscious cosmos
I’d wag on the laws of time and reality
All to loan out myself for a spell
The mind of now, inhabiting the form of then

When ever I ended up when I entered the cockpit
Maybe it’ll be just as I call for the curtains
Equipped with 5 years of pain, on account of isolation
And the scene by scene of your dying soul
Well…. I’d collapsed on sight at your feet
Whatever ignorance did to tempt my young heart
It’s not worth it I swear
We found something radioactive right here
The kind of things poets and writers hypothesise about
A real home with someone, a real peace

An espers access to each other brain waves
As we pre-emptively cushion a devastating blow
The sensibilities that we leave to fade
While another improv act plays out
During a pub date, down the local dive
An audience of no one, with critical acclaim
That’s the kind of feeling I mean
When proximity produces happiness

If my mind enveloped that body, I’d tell you straight
“There’s no discovery that matches up
No chase will yield a worthy catch
My only will to live was to see us through
And with your absence I don’t know what else to do”
A plea from the future, one that’s true

Oh what a pity it is XXXXXXXXX
That we found each other way too early
To really understand what it was we found
I thought maybe it was a delusion
That it was young love’s nostalgic echo chamber
But is it really XXXXXXXXX?
Could it not be we are the means to be happy?
I’m sure you’ll escape abusive means one day
And find the one to give you a greater feeling
But what of lonely mortals like me?

Cos the fact remains from day 1
That I wanna die everyday I’m not yours
Please show me that love
Please XXXXXXXXX

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series