Sad, Except Not? But I Guess I Am Now

Abort! Abort! Operation could not be found!
What a bizarre sensation
When decay visits your head-space
But comes too at a loss
What’s dedication to a feeling without origin?
It’s just like trying to cry with dust
Pointless and painful
Everything’s getting better
But your hearts missed that memo
What a confusing bus ride this is

I’m a float belly first
In a flood of a profound melancholy
For what fells like decades
The mere notion…. Everythings okay!?
My heart rejects it
“You thought this last time!”
There’s never a point in your time
The laser points, NOT aimed at your head!
You might crave happiness, but rest assured
These endorphins lead only to pain again

So stay as you are
Holding back dry tears
Cos the bus is gonna be 5 minutes late
To arrive to the appointment you don’t have
The way your shoes feel today?
Spots on your skin? Yeah cry over that too!
Trust me man, it’s so much safer this way
So cry your little heart back to safety

Lnc0

Poison

All I ever wanted to do was shower them with prizes
To latch onto as they travel through the darkest days
The kind they’d open up a jewelry box to their grand kids
And tell them exaggerated tales of the golden years
But as I watch them fall head first into the night, time and time again
As a common denominator you do have to wonder don’t you?

I’m the doubt in their voice
I’m the pause before the retreat
I’m poison
I’m the doubt in their abilities
I’m the sigh in the night
I’m poison

All I ever wanted was to see my girls sore into the night
With or without me by their side, eyes dilated with glee
Whatever the method may be, no matter the price
Because If I have to see another one fall from grace
I may just put the next bullet in my brain instead
I don’t want to do it to them anymore, not again

I’m the lack of scale in their thoughts
I’m the bar that’s been set low
I’m poison
I’m the cracks in the mirror
I’m the 2 for 1 concealer
I’m poison

Panic In The Evening

I feel like a hoodlum standing outside a memorial
With cans of neon lit paint in my backpack
Complimented by a small armies worth of explosives
Ready to set hell on a beloved artefact with my insignia
All to quell my impulsive decisions

Yeah, that’s how I feel right now
When your perched upon my mattress in the afternoon
With the slits in my curtains raining on your skin
Showing just how perfect your design really is
Each curve tailor made to my exact specifications
Each imperfection made to compliment your excellency
Laying my grubby fingers upon you now
Would be the worst fucking crime I could conceive
Like rubbing grease all over a Mozart sheet

I just wanna die
If it means I can cower out of this mess
Run for the hills before I poison you anymore
Your flying with angels on pale light nights
And I’m greasing the gears behind the scenes
Please just pull the trigger and leave for good

As I continue to deface your form even more
You permit my ascension to the sacred place
The fumes starts to slowly creep inside of me
I start to hear the taste of each bead of sweat
As it tunnels into the folds of my mind
I can’t feel the guilt I should be
I can’t feel anything anymore
You don’t deserve this, not even for a second
I can only provide a fraction of what you deserve
Olympians soaring from the coast docking on Clacton’s shores
Travelling from miles on end just to get a glimpse
Of that smile on your lips