Tag: bpd awareness month

Detachment Blues

I feel like I’ve been chewing on
The contents of a Sunday morning
Ever since I told you to go fuck yourself
And you complied with my demands

Just feels like the clouds hurdle around now
And the vibrance seeps from the canvas
The victim of all my favourite thoughts
My favourite page when going through the memories
Feels like I’m resurrecting from my grave
Simply when I populate your atmosphere
Every time you validate my appearance before you
When you specifically call me to the plate
It’s the closest I’ve come to a believer
When I see the image of god in your eyes

Your imprinted in my cellular make-up
But I’ve had to have you extracted
A chips appeared in the narrative facade
And I got to cut of the dead weight
Cos I’ve seen you gather that surge from another
And it breaks my heart to know your vision
Doesn’t interpret me in your life
The same way I do to you, in mine
Your welcome to add the beauty to their world
I welcome back the erosion of mine

But that doesn’t mean your positions been filled
Heck it doesn’t mean your even fired
I’m hoping for that grand parade of invasion
Where the walls collapse from you to me
For the sake of that grandiose apology
Then you’d reattach your veins to mine
And I can accept god in my life again

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

Your Armageddon, My Distraction

The simple stroll has gained significant difficulty
No matter the surface I traverse I track dirt
5cm thick of mud and grass
As I pass hour 2 walking on concrete
6cm … 7cm … 8cm
I’m shocked they let me into the cafe

I can’t make it out with my eyes
But I feel the eyeball coming out of my palm
And the tentacles coming out of my pours
What to believe in the end?
The sight or the follicles
Each one making an argument for being ground in reality

Maybe there’s only one way to find out
Give into the quirks my twitches alluded too
And act on that split second desire
To tear myself apart just to see how that goes
Grab the Gillette and disconnect the webs of my fingers
Pull the eyelids from my brow
Peel back the banana skin like Krokodil
And see if any of it is really there

Feels so real to the touch
Even that which can’t be seen
But again who am I to believe?
I’ve not had a witness corroborate it in days
Even so they might feel it too
To terrified to admit it to the world
Are we all deluded by the creature underneath?
Like Lovecraft, would it drive us mad to really know?

This coffin is suffocating, I’d love to rip it all off
But the outsiders concern confirms what’s reality
Least in the ballot of the consensus
Even then is that to be trusted?
Cos the soil is still sticking to my feet
Yet the floor remains spotless

Lnc0