Date In Castle Park

I arrive at the business transaction mostly on time
Arranged passively on a interchangeable messaging app
You make the radically mundane suggestion of a castle park romp
It’s too much to expect a curve ball at 23

The dice lands on a photography student
What else does steel caped boots and a Harrington produce?
Your hair’s a bath bomb shade of green and blonde
And your eyes reflect like monochrome
Undoubtedly captivating when equipped with a warm smile
We religiously obey the footpath
While I keep the hayfever at bay
“We’re victims of a London class based culling”
As she details how she came to be on this dirty great ‘ol hill
“I took this course because it’s my passion”
As op after op flew by, without a single shot being taken
Despite the 1,000 quid necklace you brought along
The sun transfixes her eyes, as she relays me with ambition
To make it back to London’s streets, or Brighton’s shores
Join the club hun, I’m sure we’ll all get there one day
You ponder about my candour
I’m not sure how to go about that
I’m a teacher in limbo
I’m a poet on standby
I’m the very definition of ‘pending’
I try to dress that up the best I can
But it’s clear I’m not getting anywhere
When that art’s not your art, when art’s not art
Then who cares?
“Can’t you play guitar” Bullet wound number 1

We take a very safe route round the park
To the benches, then to the hills
On our backs, then on our sides
Before you taste the toothpaste I used this morning
How many girls have I done this with?
How many boys have you done with too?
Did you wanna do that with me too?
Do I want you to? What do I want?
Do I want anything?
And if I do want, what’s that look like?
If I could peek into the future
Would it look anything like the past?
Would it look like me spewing white lies
Like I totally still listen to The Enemy!
Yeah…. Live and die and all that….

I take a fourth handful from the grass
As we start to veer around our guards
A troubled home, an absent dad
Apologetic prefacing from a Yelp ad
But then like the sound of a plane being shot down
She goes “Oh yeah my brother has autism too”
It’s time to dig that grave and cut your loses mate
Or maybe I’m waving the white flag to early
If Tumblr’s an indication, people are all about incest these days
But that’s an uphill climb regardless, and I’m out of heart
So to swerve by a handshake goodbye; I knock off early
Then take the scenic route home

Is this exposed heart bollocks for naught?
I like fun as much as the next guy
But the thought of letting someone in close proximity
Makes me a little sick to my stomach
But what kind of superhero am I expecting?
We’re all fucked in our own way
I just can’t stand the gamble anymore
Of ending up losing on beaming Saturday noons
Staring at the walls, flies populating my mouth
While I obsessively go over everything that went wrong
And rub ointment over my heart
All for the kind of empty people
That slap their cunts to Game Of Thrones
Who stroke their dicks to the Euro match
All without anything to say, nothing to show for it
Oh it’s not worth it anymore
If you told all your sweethearts to hit the road
And you hit 22 then your shit out of luck
Too aware to comply, too cynical to wonder
You’re the last kid picked for P.E

I don’t feel like dying again
I’m quite accustomed to feeling safe
So maybe I’ll abstain for another year
Not like anyone’s missing out

Sebastian Noël

Still Vibes

It’s another still night in Colchester
Everyone’s gaze is exclusive to surface level
And a vibrant facia pallet of fauna
Is indistinguishable from the cold grey tarmac

And I’ve honestly got nothing interesting to say
No mythological comparisons to make for my Tuesday
And definitely no darling in sight to glorify
Nothing remarkable about a still vibe

Cos without my know-how
My subconscious has be sorting out rations
Keeping my personality for ransom
Not to exert every kilojoule, not quite yet
On winter time dates in the warm
That can’t even muster a flat spark
I run to the hills with delight painted on my face
Only to be greeted by a horde of the dead

Their ain’t nothing remarkable about a still populous
And if everyone’s keeping their love off the line
What good is currency anyway?
If all it’s doing is leaving ache in your chest
Best to wait for the ripples in the blue
And cannonball accordingly
Until then the cold locks up the receptors
Stops anyone from detecting what anyone’s feeling
So it’s best to shut down completely
Until we’re back into stormy waters again

Lnc0

Acting Domineering With The Clubbers Of Colchester

Why’d you have to shriek at me so fucking loud?
I’m trying my hardest to juice a bit of joy from this car wreck
But in the midst of this murder of scavengers
The type that pick apart the scraps of poor lost lambs
Caked in petrol station cologne, it’s a sickening sight
You slump in your seat as if inviting me to do the same
I was born with more class then that love
And besides what exactly have you done to sell me on the act?

All you’ve done is make your disappointment in my boredom known
If I had a penny for everytime I came under criticism
Cos’ I refused to fall in line for the male stereotype
I’d of brought you a taxi home, just to get you out of my face

You shell out a drug lords daily paycheck
To sit your arses in the in the side of the club
Snapping evidence of having a good night out
To justify your empty wallet the next day
But oh my god I’m falling asleep
I left my mothers womb 21 years ago to have fun
So why is it such a trail to get you on the dancefloor
Lets put them litres of booze in us to good use!

Oh please let me free!
I can’t stand to put up with this anymore
There’s more to life then drinking and making evidence for it
Get a hobby, get a life, get a fucking clue
I wish you weren’t such a disappointment
I wish you didn’t make me so mad
I wish you’d just let me be myself, instead of a ‘man’
Maybe it’ll be better if you just fucked off?

Created as a counterpart to this poem:
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/84960870662/acting-submissive-with-the-clubbers-of-colchester 

Acting Submissive With The Clubbers Of Colchester

You don’t have to yell at me so loud
I’m trying my hardest to have a good time and crack a smile
But in the midst of this murder of scavengers
The type that pick apart the scraps of poor lost lambs
Who have lost the sparkle in their eyes
I see you spread out in the back of the bar like a corpse
I wish I could obey the green lights at the racetrack
But I can’t find the heart to reach out and take it

Oh and you make your disappointment in my discomfort known
If I had a penny for every time I am under criticism
Cos’ I refused to fall in line for the male stereotype
I’d of brought the taxi home to save you the embarrassment

I wish I could tear your focus away from your phone screen
Trying to gather the scraps of a good night out
I just want to grab you by the wrist, and pull you up
Into the phantasm of the violet lights
And dance the dread away, loosen up them thighs
Run your hair inbewteen my fingers
And plant the sweetest embrace
But you’ve lost your willpower you just want to sink into the seats

Oh please let me go!
I can’t stand to see you like this anymore
You fidget and squirm like a child in a push-chair
We just aren’t comfortable together it would seem
I didn’t mean to be such a disappointment
I didn’t mean to make you so sad
I didn’t mean to fail you as a man
Maybe it’ll be better if I just went home

Created as a counter part to this poem
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/84961086712/acting-domineering-with-the-clubbers-of-colchester