Never Trust A Compliment

“Oh Seb, why do you have such low self-esteem?”
While a magnitude 7 transpires in my pocket,
As if to answer that very question.
A letter in the bandwidth arrives on my shores,
Meticulously designed to remind me:
I was born of flawed clay and to there I’ll return.
Any avenue not filled they’ll find there way;
Whatsapp, Insta or Kik. It’s all game.

Don’t tell me the lens focuses ‘Too much’ on the anti,
Cos every pleasantly is temporary.
All smiles turn into frowns, if given time.
Offers to hang out turn into reaching excuses.
She’ll let you know “Boy you’re so valid.”
She’ll say “You try so hard to illuminate those in your gaze.”
Two crumbs of Twix on her shoes later however:
I’ll epitomise a callous generation of dregs.

Danni holds my hand by the riverside,
When I accidentally get some water on her dress.
“I never asked to be with such a mental case.”
She advises me to get the 47 bus home.

Allie smiles over her mocha on our anniversary,
When I ordered a gingerbread latte when I meant hazelnut.
“You don’t know how to love anyone, and never will.”
I’m left alone with a cold drink I didn’t even want.

I’m staring Christine down the alter,
Her hand in mine, as we say our vows.
With a decade of hardships behind us,
With an extra year or two of love to call our own.
I look my bride longingly in the eyes,
And accidentally put the ring on her index finger.
“Everything they said about you is true, you’re such a cunt.”
SEB!? WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH LOW SELF-ESTEEM!?

I can be the apple lodged in someone’s eye
And a thorn infesting their side by tomorrow.
The slander is what sticks,
While compliments are temporary,
Until you start to taste foul in their mouths
And we all know that nothing is succulent eternally.
So I believe what everlasts,
Not what only stays present on good behaviour.

Sebastian Noël

Thick [2016 Edit]

After our friends fuck off for a fag break
We find ourselves standing side to side
With our backs to the receding wallpaper
Under the sinking spotlights
It highlights the dread in your golden eyes
No matter how many times you lick those lips
You can never reach out and claim what’s rightfully yours
You never could let a good thing just be a good thing

You stare down at your feet, looking quite forlorn
You lament how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that couldn’t solve 2 x 4
While stuck in the middle of a Casio showroom

I know you’d rather pass a kidney stone
Then to hear about how your the apple of my eye
But god every second I see you stuck in the dumps
It sucks away my spirit like a black hole

You stare down at your shoes, like I hit a trigger
You recall how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that receives the sniggers
While deciding on a desert in the cafeteria

Please listen to the gospel that I’m shouting
Stop using what the dregs used to say
As an excuse to not shoot for what your wanting
I’m on my knees, please baby just embrace me!

I want to tickle your toes in the bathtub
Feed you strawberries by the lakeside
Trace circles on your palm during the book club
Turn you into a god when the confidence has died
Feel you hold my arm when your overcome with fright
To see you stamp your feet when I don’t pick up the slack
Kiss you on the head and make-up after a fight
Gnaw on your neck while you leave slashes on my back

Please, I’m fucking begging you now
Just listen to tremors coming from your chest
Before I start to grow callous
And my faith turns into dust

Sebastian Noel

She Paints

She paints, but there’s not much else to her
Least nothing she could find
No peak as you bypass the skin
No shocks when you feel the neuro
She paints, that much is certain
But what hooks could that provide?

She paints, but who else does?
And even when they do too
That’s no basis for a connection
She paints, but not like they do

She paints, but it’s the origin of isolation
“I’ve suplexed 9 condo’s into the lava
Then saved 6 magical girls from Satan
Before making my 3rd million at poker
But enough about me, what have you been up to?”
She paints, but that’s all she ever does

She paints, as she lets life pass her by
Absent from the pub
Absent from the gigs
Absent from the work due
And they all know where she is
No matter what the last minute text says
She paints, as she cowers from the window
She paints, but swallow regret all the while

She paints, when there’s no one around
No one can make the coffee date
“My misses has the day off work”
No one can join the shopping day
“My boyfriend wants to watch some movie”
She paints, but she has to wonder
Would it be so frequent with someone at her side?

She paints, she paints, she paints
She paints, the whole world away

Lnc0

Panic In The Evening

I feel like a hoodlum standing outside a memorial 
With cans of neon lit paint in my backpack 
Complimented by a small armies worth of explosives 
Ready to set hell on a beloved artefact with my insignia 
All to quell my impulsive decisions 

Yeah, that’s how I feel right now 
When your perched upon my mattress in the afternoon 
With the slits in my curtains raining on your skin 
Showing just how perfect your design really is 
Each curve tailor made to my exact specifications 
Each imperfection made to compliment your excellency 
Laying my grubby fingers upon you now 
Would be the worst fucking crime I could conceive 
Like rubbing grease all over a Mozart sheet 

I just wanna die 
If it means I can cower out of this mess 
Run for the hills before I poison you anymore 
Your flying with angels on pale light nights 
And I’m greasing the gears behind the scenes 
Please just pull the trigger and leave for good 

As I continue to deface your form even more 
You permit my ascension to the sacred place 
The fumes starts to slowly creep inside of me 
I start to hear the taste of each bead of sweat 
As it tunnels into the folds of my mind 
I can’t feel the guilt I should be 
I can’t feel anything anymore 
You don’t deserve this, not even for a second 
I can only provide a fraction of what you deserve 
Olympians soaring from the coast docking on Clacton’s shores
Travelling from miles on end just to get a glimpse 
Of that smile on your lips 

I just wanna die 
If it means I can cower out of this mess 
Run for the hills before I poison you anymore 
Your flying with angels on pale light nights 
And I’m greasing the gears behind the scenes 
Please just pull the trigger and leave for good 
Don’t shoot for bronze when you can get gold 
Without even trying