14/02/16 – And A While Prior

This feels like writing a eulogy
I guess in a way it is
But on account of arrogance
It’s just a little overdue…

Is there any chance you still think of me?
In passing? Even if for a micro-second?
Cos for me, given the time of year
The second that clock hits February, I can’t help myself

It may of been just a blip, a tick, a glitch if we’re being cynical
But I think the smallest durations can be the most intense
I’ve had years and years of accompaniment before
But they never got me like you did, in a mere duo of months

Silky waves on a crystal beach
Lukewarm breeze on lost jacket nights
A sight to dilate
Brings the crack of smiles
To a mourning frown
And to bruised skin
An exercise to the creative soul
And an expansion to the creative mind
You were this and so much more
The most elating memory I know

So does your mind, drag you back in time too?
Does it leave your day bleak, and your future blue?
To reminisce about all the little ways
We’d make divinity out of early work days

Is it only me that reserves a prayer or two?
That despite the magnitude of earth that now separates us
That somehow come February the 14th
When I step outside into a standard blistering night
Our frequencies will somehow align
And no matter where I choose to sulk
I’ll be greeted by them platinum dollar eyes
Then maybe I could just drop the facade
Act like not even 1 second has past since I saw you last
And just tell you how much I’ve missed you

Still dedicated to B.B

Lnc0

A sequel to this Valentine relic of 2 years:
http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/77842940245/14022014

Still Vibes

It’s another still night in Colchester
Everyone’s gaze is exclusive to surface level
And a vibrant facia pallet of fauna
Is indistinguishable from the cold grey tarmac

And I’ve honestly got nothing interesting to say
No mythological comparisons to make for my Tuesday
And definitely no darling in sight to glorify
Nothing remarkable about a still vibe

Cos without my know-how
My subconscious has be sorting out rations
Keeping my personality for ransom
Not to exert every kilojoule, not quite yet
On winter time dates in the warm
That can’t even muster a flat spark
I run to the hills with delight painted on my face
Only to be greeted by a horde of the dead

Their ain’t nothing remarkable about a still populous
And if everyone’s keeping their love off the line
What good is currency anyway?
If all it’s doing is leaving ache in your chest
Best to wait for the ripples in the blue
And cannonball accordingly
Until then the cold locks up the receptors
Stops anyone from detecting what anyone’s feeling
So it’s best to shut down completely
Until we’re back into stormy waters again

Lnc0

When They Say “I Wear The Trousers” They Mean…

I’m seeing your name in every textbook
I feel your gaze in every corner
I’m sensing the way you haunt me at every turn
I see the emulation as I perform your diction
Walking down the street like you do
Spouting your inside jokes, with exact timing to boot
I know it’s you rushing inside my veins
Jousting my body like a puppeteer
Ready to crawl out of my skin
When you can confirm assimilation is complete
I’ll give up my heritage, my title, my life
I surrender everything for you to love me some more

Your damn right you want me to love you more
Claw your way to me on the floor
And don’t you ever forget I’m the one you adore
Whisper your worship to me, or I’ll show you scorn

When your running low on my attention
I want you seeing red, panic as the meter empties
Pulling your hair out, writhing on the settee
As I tell you I ain’t got a free minute till tomorrow
Your beginning and end all hinge on me
Every quirk shown, every sentence spoken
All born from my influence, my inspirations
I’m here to stay in your mind, if you like it or not

Lnc0

You Have To Want To Help, Therein Lies The Problem; You Don’t

I bid them adieu
I say sayonara, au revoir
As everyone who kept close
Starts to board for smoother seas
They’ve grown so tired of my shit
They don’t have to say
Especially in the current climate
Where I take a look away as a stab in the back

It’s always a bad prophecy
Like a siern’s perish song
Any resemblance of affection
Always destined to change
Under the blood moon’s ray
Into venomous slurs and bile

I see your attention fading
A sure-fire sign
I know it’s gonna sting
So why prolong it?
I always bombard you with tragedy
Your loved ones put a price on my head
Objectively I make your life worse
So why not rip the band-aid early?
So you can avoid any guilt
I’ll just get it over with and tell you to fuck off

There’s no prayer that can save me now
I’m too deep into it now
Drop the flash grenade
And head for the hills
Cos once your marked
It’s impossible to wash it away
And it can only end in tears
Unless you really can save me
Keep an ear out for my cries
Douse the fire in my soul
But I know you’re all the same
If it’s not an obligation to domestic misery
It’s the flipside: a full-time infatuation sceptical
A much better use of your time
Then to be used on a lost soul like me
So don’t get my hopes up, stay away from me

Lnc0

In Review

You know if it’s real
When you let it all go
Let it dash into the woods
And see if it ever comes back

I know it’s just human nature
To regret taking the actions which end up hurting
But it’s better to know
So much better then to never know

While drawing circles in the dirt
As I piddle time away, waiting for your return
I couldn’t pin point the things at stake
It wasn’t the cute peak points, they’re all gone
It wasn’t understanding, you never lent an ear
Maybe you did on summer nights
But on troubling winter noons, you’re nowhere to be seen

So I pick up my bags and head off
It’s shit to know your not coming for me, yeah
All the memories now come with a bitter after taste
But time could be better spent
And if I’m not their, if you never come back
Then don’t fret cos remember
You only know it’s real
If it comes back, after you let it go

Lnc0

If Or When And Possibly, If Ever

We could still never meet yet
Roll snake eyes while the other nets double sixes
An unfortunate turn out in the code of genetics
When the groves of our souls completely align

God knows how anyone like us meets
Both yearning for romance in our low income cages
What are the odds we’ll both have the dosh
To escape the confines, at the same time?
And even then in that niche, the gamble starts again
That we both have errands in the library
Or need to soul search over a caramel latte
Zero to nothing, if anything

But if the stars aligned at all by divine luck
And in that niche of niches we’d have the nerve to converse
I don’t think we’d have to follow any signals
Switch on the autopilot and let the motor run
We know what we’re hungry for
Something even less sacred then smutty nights

Snapshots, validation, one step away from a framed contract
Sharing condensation vapours on the winter walk home
What a great thing to reminisce about
Swapping doodles by the lake during the swan season
What a great narrative for my next status
Anything to hang on the fireplace, to validate

But we’re happy bathing in the security we provide
And it’s not like the stars don’t shine brighter when your near
Galaxies twist, turn and fuse as we sway to the beat
For all the complexities and philosophies
We put onto love, romance and the nature of the heart
Maybe the one’s who get it right rely on the simplest notes
Another life who fills your electrolytes
Who surrenders control of the smile when your near…

Maybe the simplest theory on love is true
You just need to meld with a soul that completes you

Lnc0

Tonight Luke Switzer DIES!

I’ve got you on the ropes now
Naked, bruised and begging for your life
I can’t believe after everything the time has come!
Tonight’s the night I come and take your life

It makes me ill to look at your face
Honestly I don’t even recognise you anymore
Let alone associate your actions with my own
You’ve hurt so many people as an ignorant brat
You let so many loves of your life walk away
It’s going feel so fucking good when I snuff out your life

Your father thinks you a buffoon
Discouraged your uni dreams knowing your to stupid
Your mother thought you a glass cannon
Destined for the destruction of all things, especially yourself
She even put it in scribe lest you forget even after she’s gone
And you know what? They weren’t wrong
You’re a toxic failure, contaminating everything you let down
So you see? No one will miss you when I steal your life

Oh god I’m so excited, I can’t contain it!
I dunno if I can keep the belt on my jeans
Cos It’s been a long time coming
Now I’m hear to take you out!
Yes tonight will be the night
Where the pathetic, selfish, useless, decaying
Failure of a man Luke Switzer dies
And the charismatic, talented, determined, beautiful
And essex’s greatest lover: Sebastian Noël will rise
And not just temporarily this time

Lnc0

I Main Jigglypuff

A dope to the untrained eye
And I bet they’d like to think so
An emulation of a personality
Long lost to the sands of time

They gyrate with no greenlight
This weeks working girls during their downtime
One minute I’m playing ventriloquist
With the muscles surrounding the profile
And the next I’m molesting the jugular
Of a Friday night cheeky chappy

We all came here for a laugh mate!
But that’s too much to expect
From a night out in Essex isn’t it?
So I transition during a laugh
And a give them glimpse of their future
All in a stare

I need the red
I need to taste blood again
And for once not my own
I stalk round the back
Quietly biding my time
I know you can’t resist it man
If I sit and wait it’ll be a matter of time
You want your fill tonight
And you won’t take no for an answer
And the second you lay a finger on her
The chains can finally come off
And I can live again

It’s sweet you’d assume that of me
With a mug this cute?
I’d have the nibble of a kitty cat
But you know that ain’t true
A Cheshire gesture creeps on my face
As I dig my claws in your neck
A hyena sonnet fills the air
As I plant your mug into the bricks
Graffiti the news-agents in blood
A message an animals been let free tonight

But with the deed done I can switch
Back again to wide eyed and silly
If I had it my way this’d be my constant
But the heart of evil never sleeps
And keep it under the radar
But maybe I don’t mind it that way

Lnc0

Things A Boy Can Never Be

Grabbing galaxies from your palms
As they linger a meander in the atmosphere
Cos to say you had the world in your hands
Would be a gross understatement

You command the eyes with your sways
You dodge the gazes like lasers in a 80’s flick
But made damn sure they were still looking your way
Everytime you touch their cheeks
You can see their gods die in their eyes
There’s no value in faith of the unseen
For the night, your all they believe in now

So desired, so admired
They flock around you like magpies
Such lust, with a little warmth
And if you allow it maybe even a little love

It cuts me up as a bystander
I’m not in the queue with a ticket in hand
I have my eyes on a bigger prize then that
I don’t wanna be with you, I wanna be you

To have each step treated like a tremor
With people dashing from their seats
Just for a chance of a gamble to be in proximity
And feel like I have a reason to be anywhere
To have every crook of my body
Analysed and immortalised in verse
To have the eyes of envy gaze longingly
Then have the eyes of jealousy mark me

I can’t stand to see it so out of my reach
I’m swaying with loaned energy on the floor
But if they’re not looks of bewilderment
Then it’s nostalgic gaze of malice
I’ve no reason to be anywhere, it’s clear
As they back away to get out range

To be as loved as her
To be as desired as her
To be so admired as her
Just a handful
Of the many things
That a boy can never be

Lnc0

Sad, Except Not? But I Guess I Am Now

Abort! Abort! Operation could not be found!
What a bizarre sensation
When decay visits your head-space
But comes too at a loss
What’s dedication to a feeling without origin?
It’s just like trying to cry with dust
Pointless and painful
Everything’s getting better
But your hearts missed that memo
What a confusing bus ride this is

I’m a float belly first
In a flood of a profound melancholy
For what fells like decades
The mere notion…. Everythings okay!?
My heart rejects it
“You thought this last time!”
There’s never a point in your time
The laser points, NOT aimed at your head!
You might crave happiness, but rest assured
These endorphins lead only to pain again

So stay as you are
Holding back dry tears
Cos the bus is gonna be 5 minutes late
To arrive to the appointment you don’t have
The way your shoes feel today?
Spots on your skin? Yeah cry over that too!
Trust me man, it’s so much safer this way
So cry your little heart back to safety

Lnc0