Acting Domineering With The Clubbers Of Colchester [2016 Edit]

Why’d you have to shriek at me so fucking loud?
I’m trying my hardest to juice a bit of joy from this car wreck
But in the midst of this murder of scavengers
The type that pick apart the scraps of poor lost lambs
Caked in petrol station cologne, it’s a sickening sight
You slump in your seat as if inviting me to do the same
I was born with more class then that love
And besides what exactly have you done to sell me on the act?

All you’ve done is make your disappointment in my boredom known
If I had a penny for everytime I came under criticism
Cos’ I refused to fall in line for the male stereotype
I’d of brought you a taxi home, just to get you out of my face

You shell out a drug lords daily paycheck
To sit your arses in the in the side of the club
Snapping evidence of having a good night out
To justify your empty wallet the next day
But oh my god I’m falling asleep
There’s more to me then my Instragram page
I left my mothers womb 21 years ago to have fun
So why is it such a trail to get you on the dancefloor?
Lets put them litres of booze in us to good use!
Is this your idea of fun?

Oh please let me free!
I cannot put up with this anymore
There’s more to life then drinking and making evidence for it
Get a hobby, get a life, get a fucking clue
I wish you weren’t such a disappointment
I wish you didn’t make me so mad
I wish you’d just let me be myself, instead of a ‘man’
Maybe it’ll be better if you just fucked off?

Sebastian Noël

Compliment Poem

Acting Submissive With The Clubbers Of Colchester [2016 Edit]

You don’t have to yell at me so loud
I’m trying my hardest to have a good time and crack a smile
But in the midst of this murder of scavengers
The type that pick apart the scraps of poor lost lambs
Who have lost the sparkle in their eyes
I see you spread out in the back like a cramp
I wish I could obey the green lights at the racetrack
But I can’t find the heart to reach out and take it

Oh and you make your disappointment in my discomfort known
~If I had a penny for every time I am under criticism
Cos’ I refused to fall in line for the male stereotype
I’d of brought the taxi home to save you the embarrassment

I wish I could tear your focus away from your phone screen
Trying to gather the scraps of a good night out
I just want to happen upon the magic words
To cast merriment upon your comotose gaze
And reprogram the vibe that’s caught the night
Run your hair inbewteen my fingers
And plant the sweetest embrace
But you’ve lost your paitence along the way
You just want to sink into the seats
I wish I knew what I did wrong…

Oh please let me go!
I can’t stand to see you like this anymore
You fidget and squirm like a child in a push-chair
We just aren’t comfortable together it would seem
I didn’t mean to be such a disappointment
I didn’t mean to make you so sad
I didn’t mean to fail you as a man
Maybe it’ll be better if I just went home

Sebastian Noel

Compliment Poem

Thick [2016 Edit]

After our friends fuck off for a fag break
We find ourselves standing side to side
With our backs to the receding wallpaper
Under the sinking spotlights
It highlights the dread in your golden eyes
No matter how many times you lick those lips
You can never reach out and claim what’s rightfully yours
You never could let a good thing just be a good thing

You stare down at your feet, looking quite forlorn
You lament how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that couldn’t solve 2 x 4
While stuck in the middle of a Casio showroom

I know you’d rather pass a kidney stone
Then to hear about how your the apple of my eye
But god every second I see you stuck in the dumps
It sucks away my spirit like a black hole

You stare down at your shoes, like I hit a trigger
You recall how they used to call you thick
The kind of girl that receives the sniggers
While deciding on a desert in the cafeteria

Please listen to the gospel that I’m shouting
Stop using what the dregs used to say
As an excuse to not shoot for what your wanting
I’m on my knees, please baby just embrace me!

I want to tickle your toes in the bathtub
Feed you strawberries by the lakeside
Trace circles on your palm during the book club
Turn you into a god when the confidence has died
Feel you hold my arm when your overcome with fright
To see you stamp your feet when I don’t pick up the slack
Kiss you on the head and make-up after a fight
Gnaw on your neck while you leave slashes on my back

Please, I’m fucking begging you now
Just listen to tremors coming from your chest
Before I start to grow callous
And my faith turns into dust

Sebastian Noel

V-Bar Alleyway Blues

Pick myself up, chin up, stiff upper lift
Why though?
I saw her lock hands with pork scratching of the week
Another subtle deterrent
From an uncaring collective
She smiles, she ways, she’s out of reach
The story of another weekend out
A turned head, bereavement nostalgia
My arse is kissing concrete again
Patience, patience, patience
I’m sick of waiting on a lost package
If existence can’t convince me good is coming
Then what is my North Star supposed to be?
To find the things we credit as the motive
For the respiratory process

I’m not quite so motivated right now
I’m choking on nostalgia, fat on memories
Someone pacify me
Give me something new to write about

What do I have to do for you to accept me Essex?

Sebastian Noël

Successors Gratitude

Resigned to a life of the fight
Every second designed to a diplomatic way or declaration
His skirt is the capote, to the masses bull hardy hearts
Every step is a step ready to die
To splay on the grown sucking your own blood for the cause
To only be as brave as you
To keep the fight outside the confines of your room
The activists, the hashtagers
Those who say your life matters
They’ll turn their backs to you
Unless you wind up dead
Compressed into a headline, ready to tweet

But I won’t forget you
Maybe you dunno the fallout, nor it’s effects
As you tell another paragon of heaven’s kingdom
To politely go fuck themselves
But when I show my face to the public
Toting my leggings, the choker and oversized jumper
I hope you’ll know

And though your masculine identity is set in stone
When I see those less attached
Start to fill my streets
I hope you’ll know

When despite the fear of an abrupt end
Looms over those same young ladies heads
Shaking as they order another pale ale
I hope you’ll know

They may not speak
They may be too awkward to credit you
But beyond the middle class plastic activists
Is us
And we know

Sebastian Noël

To Treat You As Less

My porcelain pride and the carnage laid to my hide
You say you admire the state of my life
The state despite the damage
And the method of my ambition
With no commentary on the worth of my devotion
I’ll take the flattery, but I’m losing my life signs
Just to know the price of your devotion
Can you see past an oddity
Can you sniff out my humanity?
Or is mine a view of a quirk?

I can’t turn blind eye to god’s immaculate placement
Of your freckles, the complimentary contrast
Of those crystalline eyes to the decaying nature
Of slouching bags that take refuge beneath them
But I know you want me to pluck my eyes from my skull
So I always do

Perfection an aggravating thing to put aside
I can’t lie
Even as I try to avert my gaze to the sky
My hearts goes awry
My concentration returns to my eyes
Onto to your eyes
No fucking surprise

But of course I’ll comply
There’s nothing more useless then a mutt who disobeys
So I’ll sleep within the wash of your light
Such elation is the only thing keeping me alive

Sebastian Noël

D8

A quick cut to the prints of your cortex
Under the guise of a time waster under the pines
Half synced as you request a history lesson
Eyes on me, mind elsewhere, as you recall the rules
But your first move, betrays your aloof persona
As the pawns moves aside, to give his holiness access

As I prepare the peons to form a impenetrable wall
There are two ways in which you wouldn’t accept that
“Why take up the mantle of an educator
You; who has all the markings of a creator?”
As you prep your knight in a beacons rate
That’s two ways the walls come crumbling down

5 pawns, a knight and a bishop make up my casualties
We don’t break eye contact for the entire match
As you ring your finger around the rim of my Corona
That’s two ways you firmly plant yourself in my territory
As your priest breaks the perimeter
That grin never leaves your face all the while

You always wanted to be an actress
Ever since your first pantomime as a nipper
Your iris widened and your belly started to growl
Life’s to be chewed up and spat out in your image
Pawn takes bishop, king and rook castle
You ain’t gonna rest till your name’s covering that venue

You know your being drip fed
Knight takes pawn, queen takes pawn
The legions in full force, nary a document leaks
Like on the board; I defend until I’m dragged out
Bishop takes queen, you take what you get
Cos scraps you got warm your heart

You like the unfolding puzzle type
It suits your playstyle; aggressive, get ‘em where you want
Nothing makes me more at ease
Then regaining consciousness, tucked in your bed
Rook takes bishop, check
Now you got me, I don’t wanna break free

Rook takes knight, the final blow’s in sight
Until my comrade surrounds and halts the fight
We’ll never know who would’ve taken the game
But I know you got a mind of steel
With a third eye that sees 5 moves ahead
You had me right where you wanted me: In sight
But you’d hear no objections from me receiving the sweep
I’m your prisoner of war, you play me how you like

Sebastian Noël

Legion

An ancient infantry tactic, resurrected and rebranded for 2016
I think they call it “The Esteem Team” these days
All to get out of meeting your lost love’s gaze
Cos who knows what it’d stir if we got empathy involved

Surrounded by the lighthouse beacons
Why you gotta show me your back again?
With your eyes fixated on nothing
Acting like your above the entire planet?
But your scouts gave up the ghost
Giving me the up and down, filing the scriptures
Like a flock of bees relaying to their queen
You can see everything without looking at me once

But that begs the question, why the cabaret?
What is it your hoping to keep out of view?
Don’t you like the implication that naturally follows
With looking a fellow homosapien in the eye?
It’s the only indicator that you still kept a part of your humanity
But what then? When the weasels whisper back to your ears?
I’m not gonna stay invisible for your convenience
I won’t flash puppy dog eyes to fuel your narrative

Cos I know it’s not what you wanna hear
But I’m doin’ just fine, even if unlike you
I may be lacking the trench coat romance
But maybe I’m better then ever
Free to say what I do and don’t like
Without a vice grip choking my personality out

And does it creep you out
To see all the boys and girls in the bar
Handing out stares like they’re charity?
Creating more and more evidence as they go
That life continues outside your storybook
And that we’re not waiting on the bench
Counting down the seconds to be written back in
Cos the sequel might just outsell the original

So while the platoon’s still in the legion formation
You best retreat to the corner of the place
Cos what you saw as power, was sweet life blooming
And that’s something that is no ones to take
You see these vanilla cream enlistees?
The one’s you spoke of like a raisin in a Victoria Sponge
They offer me the Parma Violet quips
All while intending to leave me intact
Somehow, I think I’ll survive you

Sebastian Noël

Jan

Jan, hey Jan, help Jan
Broken jam jar’s are Jan’s jam
My pay slip smells like mouldy coffee Jan
Get Jan on that!
Jan’s on checkouts
Jan’s also on help desk
Jan’s in every strand of my DNA
I need a Jan to help with my son’s grazed knee!
Quick where’s Jan with her awkward racist Christmas joke!
Classic Jan that, CLASSIC
Isn’t that the JANIEST Jan you Jan’d
That’s dead Jan that
Buying the coffee mug that says ‘Cock’
BEEEP BOOOOP Jan alert
And alert designed to go off when Jan does a Jan
Can’t get enough of Jan, oh Jan’s dead good
I dislocated my jaw to fit more Jan in my life

My newborn has the sacred birthmark
Of a youth destined to be the manager of a Canvey superstore
The doctor leans in and whispers
“That’s Jan as FUCK”
Jan’s in Jan school to be as Jan and can be
Planning out her one story:
>Jan falling in the pond
>Jan called Mike, Mark in 1998
>Jan ate 5 crackers at break, FUCKING MENTAL
And when Jan Version 1.250 goes for cracker number 6
The SWAT team come in and blows her brains out
Cos that’s bridging into Jade territory that
No Jan can cotain such ‘What a laugh’-ness
Not for you Jan no no!
Now tell us how your 2 quid fell in the loo?
Or how your dog Janice barks sounds like ‘Fuck off’
Oh Janny Jan Jan Jan Jannarooo Jan Jan
Jantiy Jan Janiccsseeyy Jan Jan Jan Jan Jan FUCK

Sebasitan Noël

9 Till Die

The kind that still says chavs wear slapbacks
The kind that says people don’t fuck with the lights on
Well do they?
Not much of a view from Debenhams help line
A broken swivel chair in a cream cubicle
Just the one window on to Head Street
Where all the people look like ants
Devoid of connectivity
Again as far as she could know
No look in for the mortal coil

A futile attempt to keep poll position
From a world dammed to open it’s chest
Those cards don’t stay hidden for long
Nothing to show, something to hide
So she starts to feel a lag coming on
In expression and comprehension
Why can’t they communicate like before
A note’s off, a puzzle piece is missing

And I tell you darhl, you won’t find it soon
Not at the bingo, karaoke or disco night
Not when your accelerating towards age
And a blinding speed

Sebastian Noël