Byakko

I want to drown in hypothesis
Or at least have the calculus running
In the background as it always has
The hum that helps me fall to sleep
Recollection of injecting the joy into your husk
Truly discard the armour for just a moment
Tracing out clouds, comparing daisies collected
The closest we get to a single digit percentage
To a state they call ‘genuine’
Single moment where all the poems and verses
About the light of the invisible pulls
Start to creep into the reality I inhabit
The rumour they call love

That verbal hypnotism gives me that glow
Of a hundred kisses given under the sheets
And if you ever contacted me with those lips
I’d dissolve with the fauna’s pollen
And I’ll cease to exist in this world
As pure and innocent as I entered it

Can I really let that wane?
Turn of that white noise
And find a way to peace in the silence
Find comfort in the realm of nothingness
I know the symbiote nature has to cease
I’d gladly donate all my insides
But not to see you die in my sight
Again and again and again

If only I’d of intervened with your destruction
And wasn’t obsessed with the perfect timing
Kept endgame to the side
And my heart to myself
The way it beats no different right now
Then time wasting nights in Williams and Griffin
The beats no different for these 7 years
If I was weak to love you then
Then this can only be complete devotion
Not a single atom hasn’t been in your grasp

But I’ll revoke those custody rights
No matter how much it’ll kill me inside
Cos I can’t bring myself to relay
Just how much I’ve loved you
How many times I’ve howled in my cage
Weeping over flashbacks of holding you tight
We was so damn sure we’d never let go
In the company of one born in the same dimension
Everyone else feels like an abstract collage
You were the only thing in focus
And now nothing makes sense
But can you tell me? To really nail the coffin in

Did you ever feel the love come around again?

Sebastian Noël

A part of the XXXXXXXXX series

(end)/

I weighed up my values side by side
Placed ‘em on the scales and seized them up
As I try to visualize a rerun of the program
The tears, the hope draining from her eyes
Having to witness the defamation of herself
And great it not with violence, but with a smile
A hug and empty attempts to save her from harm
Because who snuck that poison in the first place?
I hope wisdom would steer you on back to the road
But you were never heading that way in the first place

It’s embarrassing to admit the time it took
To take the binds from the eyeballs
Cos that girls a glutton for punishment
She smacks those who offer her a hand
And kisses those who would slap her
While the cosmos grants her wishes
To turn the allies of the state on each other
She tells us to strike down the evil doer
While leaking our advance to the adversary
Reporting how the republic stands to tear them apart

But it’s no tall tale, for sure he’s a low life
The kind that needs to see his girl’s soul shatter
To justify his bitter existence
As he tells another one, how he’s calculated her worth
But I might need to sell my Riot Grrrl records
Seems I’ve been mislead about the woes of violation
As she bows down at this for more lashes
After she slams the door in his face

Now my back really fucking aches
From all the times you collapsed in my arms
It’s tough to see that hard work go to waste
As you materialized, handcuffed to his knees
Only after a spectacle, a Broadway in pain
Staring at us in the box seats, to make sure we’re looking
Before you rupture my fragile heart with your cry
We scream and shout for you to turn your head
Are you okay? Are you safe!?
As you close the scissors on the radio line
And you edit the script for your alone time
You crawl on your knees, and proceed to beg
“Please bruise me, leave me black and blue
Call me retarded, call me pathetic, call me unworthy
But please wait until the eyes are looking this way
So they react to me in the aftermath”

But darling I truly do love you
In ways indescribable to the human tongue
We truly borrowed thoughts from the same realms
They could switch our DNA and nothing would change
My aspiration, my idol, my pipe dream
To be with you, To BE you, to be everything around you
A wife, A doppelgänger, the origin of all power in the earth
Crumbling to shreds in my very claws
We know in this age, all your heroes will let you down
The lens has been torn away, I barely kept my lobes
I’ve spent these years emulating a character in my head
And the proof we can escape torment dies with you too
Understand that you’re a bad omen for me
Cos I’ve always been more woman then man
And if someone with your potential can’t break free?
Then what chance do us mere mortals have?

Lnc0

Ode To Clothes/Make-up/Assorted Hats

It brings me to life
As I unhand it from the postman
Finally the latest conduit to my facade!
Caressing the rips of my shoulders
There’ll be no doubt about how I want to be presented
No doubt the source of all my power
I’m fucking alive everyone! Rejoice!
In the exact way I intended

Hey darling how’ve you been ey?
Are the slots of perception on a re-roll?
Do they come up favourably?
Does it turn the meek into men?
Pixels melting in front of your very eyesight
I’ve seen that look get given before
It’s reserved usually for the performers and magnets
You do me way too good of a favour miss
But not like that wasn’t on the blueprints
As my conduit overflows

How’d you like my super powers?
Does it transform the geek to a sex freak?
And for just a few shy of a hundred
It could be yours too

Lnc0

Stormy Seas

I know what ‘difficult’ is a codeword for
No one ever makes it though those 9 letters unscathed
It’s not as if anyone’s raised the white flag
But it’s clear we’ve been playing different games all along

Of course it’s better then to stay ignorant
But I’ll kick and scream at the predictability
Can I not gain the foresight to spot the 3rd act
After the 2nd ice cream pallor meet up
I’m scared of dipping my toes into that world again
So much effort, so much time, on a non starter
I know it’s the risk we all have to take with majesty
But I’m terrified

Lnc0

Another End Of The Night, No Joy [W.I.P]

Loves me, Loves me not, Loves me
Who’s in charge of these prayers anyway
I’m lacking on the send address on my declaration
I just gotta ask you man, what can I do?
To speed up this process you got going on here
I feel like I’m spoiling faster then the wall plaster

Is there a chant I have to perform
Or a potion I gotta mix in my teacup?
To make the figures start popping up
To have that gaze cover me head to toe
What does it take, be straight with me man
To be looked upon by the surrounding
To get the same intensity of the light-beam
As I dish out there way
In that magically hopeless way
That hopeless romantics do

Then to pinball off the story boards
To come into contact with my palms
To make me feel pretty
That same feedback the ladies gorge on
Maybe I want to feel it too
That world changing shift from just being there
Maybe it’d make me feel more worthy
Worthy of anything given to me

Lnc0

What…. Literally Nothing Does To A Guy

I can’t be trusted with promises
Of cleansing the grime from my flesh
And arising in another dimension
I leap out of the oven before I’ve become complete
Who has time to wait, youth is ticking away
And I got a sparkling new ego to show off
A new zest on non-existent power
To show to my fellow corpses

I can’t wait to go back on all my words
Betray any sense of progression I’ve hinted at
It’s been to long since I’ve self-destructed
In the place to cause the most unrest
Can tears be the cause of nostalgia
Will it get the bruises to make a re-appearance
I get better with every wound on my body
I can’t wait to break the peace this summertime

Pain is pleasure
To destroy is to be reborn
Kill me however you want
Let me surge again

No one ever rooted for the healthy kid
No one ever jeered on the sane ones
I’m making to much progress for my liking
To make the kids look up is a death sentence
I’ve learnt that all to well in the jungle
We only recognize those who match us
Wound for wound, break for break
Until then they’re the bar, the goal, the target
I’m getting bored of being okay
The pitiable state is the most entertaining one

So is anyone gonna accept me as is?
As progressing? As ascending?
No one likes the sound of that face it
And now here I lay in the trucks path
Whatever comes out from the otherside
I predict the exact increase in unification
I know I’m right, I’m always right
Your only loved when your killing yourself

Lnc0

Meeeeeeeeeeer [W.I.P]

I grow tired of it
Of everyone blindly gabbing on my praises
Such a clear fucking lie
It’s why people can’t connect the opinion to the man

I bow down to peoples feet
Before clocking them on the chin
I run my hands through their hair
Before yanking a chunk of it out
I cry when they go
I groan when they stay
I buy any myth people throw my way
And keep the blindfold on the whole time
Only for my stomach to retch
At the revel of the sequels

But I’m the sight to be retched at surely?
Bruises and lashes from the tongue
All posed to the recipients
While keeping the answer book to myself
Not even a hint, not even a clue
If they can’t figure out, they don’t deserve to know
That’s the fun-loving logic you could deserve
When you strike a convo with that sulk at the bar

But now the documents leaked
And the stage by stage analysis is in public hands
Does it answer anything? Did it fill you in at all?
Does it make you see me as less of a nutcase?
At the very least does it explain
Why I kiss the feet of people who deserve a smack
And smack the people who deserve a kiss?
And if it does explain, do you understand?

Cos right now when the opinion reaches anyone’s ear
I have a hell of a job explaining the false advertising

Lnc0

80′s Kids Having Kids

What if you got his pause?
You think it’s just that easy?
Do you think he’d match your deal?
King for king, deck for deck
That he’d even stick around for the 2nd deal
After the audience has been appeased
Once he’s ego’s be re-inflated
“See? Carol saw me do that thing”
Cradling his ceremonial mug
Repeating the same summer park fable
I hope you didn’t put to much on that bet
Cos nothings quite gelling with you tonight

Was ‘love’ quite how you imagined it?
Or was it not as the prophecies foretell
You’ll never be a priority
Not when the real return is in the new blood

What if she sends you birthday cards?
You think it’s just that easy?
Do you think she’d lick your wounds clean?
Close every gash, stitch every cut

Lnc0

CBT Round 2

I dunno, I guess, Maayyybe?
Sorry ma’am, I don’t mean to dodge the question
Should I be honest though?
The more I open, the more turn their backs
I’ve lost troops so vital to a platoon that way
The kind you’d write songs about if they turn slightly right
I mean they’re just words right?
Words are the culprit of the most vicious crimes however

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
How much more skin have I gotta peel away?

But it’d be a waste of a weekly tenner sink
To ignore your advice, I know ma’am
But I take no pleasure biting into Adam’s apple
And to learn shame for my origins
It turns a straight forward bereavement
Into an inferno of malice
And honestly I keep drawing blanks
On what to resent the most of all

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
Haven’t you got more pressing patients to see?

It’d be a one way to the easy life
To keep my mouth shut and blame it on luck
But I know if I keep that up
The knife can only turn on it’s owner
And I know for how much they shake their heads
They know their idol would despair
If my future’s destined to be projected
On a door frame on a particularly cold Wednesday noon

I got fuck all to say
You never know who’s listening
I’ve already lost so many brothers and sisters
What’s so bad on taking it all out on yourself?

It made me sick to even utter the hearsay
The first time for anything’s the hardest they say
Cos god knows I love and miss my mama
It’s never fun to trace the bullets trajectory
Straight to her SMG sniper rifle
Especially after an elaborate cover up operation
But what else I am paying a tenner a week for?
And I’m not uncovering anything not already present

I got so much to say
I know exactly who’s listening
And if I lose everyone, so what?
I deserve genuine affiliation, not an obligation

Lnc0

Terrible As A Dick, Terrible As A Bitch

Gland’s are swollen, hair’s a mess
Eyes like a reptile, that’s if they’re awake
Hearts playing squish against my ribcage
London’s arches have fallen down
As I zip two and fro the town walls
Cos no place stocks my size 12’s
Least not unless I wanna take out a mortgage
Sulking the afternoon over a toffee exlir
Panic spending to justify the return ticket here
Spent the money on a 7" I didn’t even like

It’s tantrum time
Cos I’m tired of being the awkward element
None of my conversations seem to flow
“No it’s about more then the shoes” I said
My friend took to it like a Jehovah leaflet
“But I’m telling you” I said “It’s a sign of my pathway”
Glancing at his watch “Listen man I gotta go”
Maybe it’s something only people like me would know
Those of us who’ve been the caramel on the molar
Feet too buff for kicks, shoulders too broad for threads
Too tichy to be fat, too wide to be skinny
Never been that, won’t ever be this
“I hate to bother you but…” The motto of a life-time

I thought genetics could sneak the hint under the desk
For some semblance of the direction I could go
Yet for every second, a lady will whisper into my ear
“I wish I had your curly hair, your long nails or soft skin
Not to mention the manslaughter I’d commit for them eyelashes”
A story my thighs and hips could collaborate
And with the pay wall being so high
Is it any wonder so many young men cast away that identity
Tell the £75 periwinkles to fuck off
And embrace the 2 for deal on the heeled boots
Too poor to be a guy, but whatever I find out that’s on their head

Lnc0