And If She Doesn’t Come Back Around… (W.I.P)

It feels like i’ve been playing tiddly winks with my time
Throwing away days and days into a discarded lunchbox
Like a schoolchild killing time, bobbing at the edge of their seat
As the clock flirts with the idea of striking quarter past 3
Just waiting for that rumoured telegram from your end
To signify your return to our beloved rock
Ideas of dipping our feet in the riverbed
While gorging on pre-planned ham sandwiches
Parade my mind like everyday’s a new Mardi Gras
Made to heighten the anticipation of tasting your mouth

Oh gem stoned eyed lady, I understand the confusion
But don’t let my solitude deceive you now
I’m less a wolf on patrol at the park gates, waiting to be fed
I’m more akin to an aktia, waiting for its master on the porch
I can see you position your hands on the bar
With the precision of an open heart surgeon
Like rooks on a chessboard, ready to claim the king
But I feel I must remind, I’m loyal to my queen
Ready to get down on my knees the very moment
That she decides to grace the streets again

But this time next week, if you see me alley bound
Like a lost pup left out in the pouring rain
Lacking the usual collar, now with no one to call my own
You’re welcome to give me shelter
Take me in your arms and take me home
And while you’re at it, take away all the grief
That comes with being abandoned on the doorstep
It takes a heart of pure gold to take in a mutt like me

Oh emerald gazed woman, I’d of tried to make you smile earlier
But I could never betray her, who showed me silver lined mornings
In a sea of gray tainted days, I could never break the heart
Of a saint who never asked for it, but in light of these events
An empty inbox, and a reservoir of unspent affection
Maybe I’ll take you up on that drink

Hell (W.I.P)

I can’t recall how many times i’ve seen the lunar display
Enhanced by the sheen of the beer goggles
Since I had to unlock the handcuffs on your wrist
The notion of a month passing makes the mind boggle

The hands of the analog
Are making they’re second whip around for the day
The bunions of our feet can take the strain no more
We stagger to the nearest bench to lay

I know there are better ideas then issuing a response
To your little Morse code tappings up and down my legs
Like juggling TNT’s at a pyrotechnic festival blindfolded
But lagging hearts can only think in the short term

I’ll endure your intent even while I bleed
Anything to stop the dreams
What was a suggestion has become a plea
What was a want is now a need

Oh I’m in hell
Trying to crack a smile
Oh I’m in hell
Pulling the smoke over my lies
Oh I’m in hell
Trying to enjoy it all the while
Oh I’m in hell
Stuck inbetween these two thighs

I Can’t Stop You From Appearing In My Dreams

It’s 3:52pm and it’s now I hear
That the broadcasts from down under reach their peak
Even I admit that’s a weak excuse
But anything to put off crawling to them sheets
Anything to stave off meeting you again
In the one place you van still Influence me
Smack in the middle of smoky storybook aspirations

Westbound to a plain of intangible letters and sentences
Only in this sector of the concious
Where desires are interpreted for temporary manias
Do you stand before me again

All grudges flow out through our pours like black tar
The hate seeps through the husk in our breaths
The spite flakes off our very skin
All I have left to remember is to how to stay betrothed to you
I was no one else’s to lose but yours my love

Utilizing my muscle memory you lock your fingers with mine
Like claws on a tow truck you whisk me away
We take a quick hike from the town centre to yours
With the parts I can’t recall replaced with golden plated bridges
Connecting my recollections together

The ingrates that poisoned you have been purged
Their mouths stitched shut to stop them from bringing you down
It’s just you and I with the audience of the washing up
There isn’t a thing to fret about
Just how the sunlight highlights your genius design

The smoke flows from the floor boards
I smear it through the threads of your scalp
You inhale it through your regulated pants
As it pours from the ducts into your irises

Trace the curves of optimum natural selection
Grasp the wrist of a submitted romantic intention
Groove to the rhythm of a calculated routine
Play it back those glossy sweet sugarcane memories

The Clock hits 9 and caresses my eyelids
The reality kicks in and the mist starts to disappear
I beg my master to release her grip from my limbs
But her grip stays aggressive just like an anchor

She sinks her claws, digging deep into my wounds
She tugs from within my arms to keep me pressed against her chest
I can’t stand the guilt, the oh so familiar sting
How naive of me, for it was me who brung you here in the first place

An interpretation that’s all you are
A reflection of the reality, with a sweeter taste
And smoothed out edges
A version of you that doesn’t berate my birth wronging
While you demand I clean the wounds on your arms
As you leave the ones under my legs wide open

The hate floods back into my veins
As if to cue the pins and needles
It flows to my profile and forces my eyes open
For another cycle I’m free from your grip
Until my eyes grow heavy and then I’m yours again

26/03/06 > 03/04/10

I sit in the aftermath of a rotten moment 
Bathed in the darkness of modern designs 
Head perched in hands my mind fades back 
And I move my head to your direction 

I could swallow domestic sadness on any other day 
But on the eve of parental celebration I do struggle 
The guest of honour was never expected to show 
It still seems impossibly so 

I’m sorry I never think of you, as much as I should 
But I never had the heart to do so before 
Somehow if I tilt my head towards the heavens 
I think my words reach you, where ever they go 

I’m sorry I never speak to you, as much as I should do 
It’s not as if I couldn’t speak about you 
I’m sorry I moved on too fast, the others needed me too 
Stability is the only thing I could do 
I’m sorry if I kept it all to myself, no one would see me through 
To be a burden is something I won’t do 
I’m sorry if this all isn’t needed, but I felt I had too 
On the eve on a day dedicated to you 

I’m sorry for the sharpness of my tongue; I pardon myself for my French
I’m sorry for the distance I keep; I know you wouldn’t agree with it 
I’m sorry for my wild instincts, your furniture deserves better 
Even if you can’t hear, I feel I should’ve still 
There’s still a while to go, I still couldn’t do you wrong 
I only hope 

I’m sorry for every time for the times, I’ve moped about all day 
I know you’d kick me for acting that way 
I’m sorry for how I tired to soften the blow, and kept you away
I just wouldn’t know what else to say 
And I’m sorry it took so long, for even through song to say 
As we slowly approach the month of may 
This is the last time I’ll use you now, to vent my selfish ways 
I promise next time we’ll talk on a good day 

I’m sorry for the sharpness of my tongue; I pardon myself for my French
I’m sorry for the distance I keep; I know you wouldn’t agree with it 
I’m sorry for my wild instincts, your furniture deserves better 
Even if you can’t hear, I feel I should’ve still 
There’s still a while to go, I still couldn’t do you wrong 
I only hope, I don’t disappoint you anymore 

Just cos I never came through till the end 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I forgot to call you back when I was out 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I locked myself upstairs and refuse to come out 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I freeze at the sight of tears 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I stayed downstairs when I heard you moan 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I didn’t cry when it was all over 
Don’t think I never loved you 
When I saw that smile on your passing face 
I knew you finally found peace 
And when I grinned after I left your room 
But it was only cos I loved you

Dedicated to ma’