ANTI THE ANTI ANTI [Reading]
Original Poem: http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/117020073037/anti-the-anti-anti
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/lnc0/anti
ANTI THE ANTI ANTI [Reading]
Original Poem: http://thetartanprelude.tumblr.com/post/117020073037/anti-the-anti-anti
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/lnc0/anti
So uh….. hey everyone, so I may or may not of done a few recorded readings of some of my poems that I can show ya’ll tonight, managed to get them done with some professional kit and yeeaaahh, would be nice for my regular followers to get an inkling how this stuff is preformed live so….. hope you look forward to it, I am fucking not and oh my god so scared? :L
Oh shit it’s mental health awareness month? Should really do something for that
I want to drown in hypothesis
Or at least have the calculus running
In the background as it always has
The hum that helps me fall to sleep
Recollection of injecting the joy into your husk
Truly discard the armour for just a moment
Tracing out clouds, comparing daisies collected
The closest we get to a single digit percentage
To a state they call ‘genuine’
Single moment where all the poems and verses
About the light of the invisible pulls
Start to creep into the reality I inhabit
The rumour they call love
That verbal hypnotism gives me that glow
Of a hundred kisses given under the sheets
And if you ever contacted me with those lips
I’d dissolve with the fauna’s pollen
And I’ll cease to exist in this world
As pure and innocent as I entered it
Can I really let that wane?
Turn of that white noise
And find a way to peace in the silence
Find comfort in the realm of nothingness
I know the symbiote nature has to cease
I’d gladly donate all my insides
But not to see you die in my sight
Again and again and again
If only I’d of intervened with your destruction
And wasn’t obsessed with the perfect timing
Kept endgame to the side
And my heart to myself
The way it beats no different right now
Then time wasting nights in Williams and Griffin
The beats no different for these 7 years
If I was weak to love you then
Then this can only be complete devotion
Not a single atom hasn’t been in your grasp
But I’ll revoke those custody rights
No matter how much it’ll kill me inside
Cos I can’t bring myself to relay
Just how much I’ve loved you
How many times I’ve howled in my cage
Weeping over flashbacks of holding you tight
We was so damn sure we’d never let go
In the company of one born in the same dimension
Everyone else feels like an abstract collage
You were the only thing in focus
And now nothing makes sense
But can you tell me? To really nail the coffin in
Did you ever feel the love come around again?
Sebastian Noël
A part of the XXXXXXXXX series
Loyal followers should I post this ‘spoken word’ version of these poems? Would the little differences be cool to see? Or would it just be like “Oh good, that thing I read but shitter” I’ll take no replies as a ‘dear god no’ :L
Editing some of my old poems to be preformed via spoken word and it’s amazing how much your tone changes when the context of what your writing does, cos I’ve been a bit merrr for a long time about where the comedy in my stuff has gone. I used to be a funny fucker, but my poems have gotten pretty melancholy even when the subject matter is ridiculous, but like a few minutes into editing stuff for live performances it’s like “Ohhh there you are silliness I wondered where you’d fucked of too!”
I am so terrified of loving someone because you can tell them everything you been through and they’ll put you through it again.
That last one really fucking hurt
I weighed up my values side by side
Placed ‘em on the scales and seized them up
As I try to visualize a rerun of the program
The tears, the hope draining from her eyes
Having to witness the defamation of herself
And great it not with violence, but with a smile
A hug and empty attempts to save her from harm
Because who snuck that poison in the first place?
I hope wisdom would steer you on back to the road
But you were never heading that way in the first place
It’s embarrassing to admit the time it took
To take the binds from the eyeballs
Cos that girls a glutton for punishment
She smacks those who offer her a hand
And kisses those who would slap her
While the cosmos grants her wishes
To turn the allies of the state on each other
She tells us to strike down the evil doer
While leaking our advance to the adversary
Reporting how the republic stands to tear them apart
But it’s no tall tale, for sure he’s a low life
The kind that needs to see his girl’s soul shatter
To justify his bitter existence
As he tells another one, how he’s calculated her worth
But I might need to sell my Riot Grrrl records
Seems I’ve been mislead about the woes of violation
As she bows down at this for more lashes
After she slams the door in his face
Now my back really fucking aches
From all the times you collapsed in my arms
It’s tough to see that hard work go to waste
As you materialized, handcuffed to his knees
Only after a spectacle, a Broadway in pain
Staring at us in the box seats, to make sure we’re looking
Before you rupture my fragile heart with your cry
We scream and shout for you to turn your head
Are you okay? Are you safe!?
As you close the scissors on the radio line
And you edit the script for your alone time
You crawl on your knees, and proceed to beg
“Please bruise me, leave me black and blue
Call me retarded, call me pathetic, call me unworthy
But please wait until the eyes are looking this way
So they react to me in the aftermath”
But darling I truly do love you
In ways indescribable to the human tongue
We truly borrowed thoughts from the same realms
They could switch our DNA and nothing would change
My aspiration, my idol, my pipe dream
To be with you, To BE you, to be everything around you
A wife, A doppelgänger, the origin of all power in the earth
Crumbling to shreds in my very claws
We know in this age, all your heroes will let you down
The lens has been torn away, I barely kept my lobes
I’ve spent these years emulating a character in my head
And the proof we can escape torment dies with you too
Understand that you’re a bad omen for me
Cos I’ve always been more woman then man
And if someone with your potential can’t break free?
Then what chance do us mere mortals have?
Lnc0